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Tag: Biden sotu
Biden Gives Up Coherent Speaking For Lent
WASHINGTON, D.C.—This Lent, devout Catholic Joe Biden has announced that he is giving up coherent speaking for the next 40 days.
It’s traditional for Catholics to give up some mortal pleasure during the 40 days preceding Easter, and Biden is no exception to the custom.
“Ffffor — for the n-next, next 40,000 – excuse me – 40 hundred days, I will be giving up, you know, the thing,” he said during his State of the Union address this evening. “The speaking of… of the — the Eng, English wordle – begyerpardon – English word things, I’m giving all that up, folks. It’s done. No more Mr. Coherent Biden Guy.”
“I’m done with the word talky-talky, got it, folks?!”
“Go get him!” he concluded to confused, scattered applause.
At publishing time, Nancy Pelosi had announced that she would be giving up insider trading for Lent.
My Dream State of the Union
Guest Post by John Stossel
President Joe Biden just gave his State of the Union Address.
Here’s what I wish Biden said:
“Russia’s unwarranted invasion of Ukraine reminds us why it’s crucial that America’s military remains strong, and focused on defense, not distractions like gender equity.
“I stand with the people of Ukraine, and I will help them where I can, but America will not enter this war.
“My predecessors involved us in wars all over the world. Today, America posts soldiers in 80 countries: 25,000 in South Korea, 30,000 in Germany, 50,000 in Japan …
“I will bring those troops home. Those countries can pay for their own defense. I promise I will deploy America’s soldiers only if there is a direct threat to America’s interests.
“Avoiding war was one of the things my predecessor got right.
“Former President Donald Trump said he would ‘bring our troops back home.’ I followed through, and we now are out of Afghanistan. I didn’t plan the exit well, but at least we finally left.
“Turning to my governance at home, I have a lot to apologize for. Two years into the pandemic, I finally understand how much I got wrong.
“I said we wouldn’t mandate vaccines. My press secretary assured reporters, ‘That’s not the role of the federal government.’
“But just a few weeks later, I mandated vaccines for most employees.
“I said, ‘This is not about freedom or personal choice.’ But that’s nonsense. It was exactly about freedom and choice. Fortunately, the Supreme Court struck down my mandate.