Submitted by Keith B.
Guest Post by Fred Reed
I have decided to run in the upcoming Presidential elections as dictator. I am aware of the stress this will cause me, the long hours, the sacrifice, but I sense that the country yearns for me in its desperation, its despair for a Leader. In this week alone I have gotten hundreds of emails urging me to take the reins of government (OK, three emails, but I am rounding up.) At whatever cost, I will answer my country’s call.
Some will object to my certain ascension as voters reach out in their anguish. Naysayers will say “nay,” that being how you know they are naysayers. Skeptics will say, “But Fred, you have no qualifications as dictator.” To them I reply, “True, but look at what we’ve got.” This is an insuperable argument.
A considerate dictator informs his dictadees of his plans for them and the country. Herewith a few of the measures I foresee:
