“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
Steven Wright
“Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.”
Steven Wright
“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”
Steven Wright
“What’s another word for thesaurus?”
Steven Wright
“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”
Steven Wright
“When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.”
Steven Wright
“Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”
Steven Wright
“I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time” so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.”
Steven Wright
“If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?”
Steven Wright
“I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.”
Steven Wright
