Muck’s News of the Day!!
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FLASH *** A new Metal has been *** FLASH
Discovered
GOVERNMENTIUM : A new element
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science.
The new element has been named “Governmentium”. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.
Top scale Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years and sometimes 8; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as “Critical Morass”.
It is propitious that governmentum is so heavy and unwieldy, placed at the absolute bottom of the Element Charts. This is because this element is extremely hard to use for anything, tends to seep into places it doesn’t belong and it is completely inflexible and impervious to any and all attempts to reduce its’ size or lessen its’ negative effects on the world around us.
You will know it when you see it.
MA
