AMAZON HIRING 9,000 ROBOTS

This should keep Amazon’s Obamacare costs under control. Maybe the BLS can change their jobs definition to include robots now. That could do wonders for the official unemployment rate. Maybe Applebees can add some new dishes to their menu – Sauteed Nuts & Bolts with an Oil Smoothie. That could really juice revenues. These newly employed robots can travel in Google driver-less cars. And you thought the Jetsons world would never arrive. Human beings are becoming obsolete. All hail Jeff Bezos. Who needs profits anyway? I can’t wait for my first drone delivery. I hope it isn’t care of the U.S. military.

Amazon to Add 9,000 Robots to Workforce, Ending Great Robot Depression

It’s a robot invasion!

Robots, robots everywhere (YouTube).

Were you hoping Amazon would go away so you could stop buying things you don’t need solely because they come in two days? Oh well.

Amazon is about to multiply their robot army times 10, CNN reported.

The online retailing giant announced plans to increase their robot workforce to 10,000 by the end of this year. Currently, Amazon employs 1,000 of the wondrous warehouse machines.

The announcement, made by CEO Jeff Bezos in a shareholders meeting this morning, spurred the question of the fate for the actual human beings who package and ship our ear buds and iPhone cases.

An Amazon Spokeswoman assured CNN that the increase in robot workers will have no influence on the number of people employed.

Amazon must know that its robot fleet is piquing people’s interest, because the company just began offering public tours of their U.S. warehouses last month.

If that’s too much trouble, the video below will show you all about Amazon’s leap into the futuristic robot world. What we’re really wondering, though, is where are the damn drones?!

 

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15 Comments
Anon
Anon
June 2, 2014 8:48 am

Fuck you too, Amazon!

Bobob
Bobob
June 2, 2014 9:09 am

Llpoh has found the perfect workforce.
Bob.

Pirate Jo
Pirate Jo
June 2, 2014 10:40 am

We need to get the robots to start paying taxes.

Stucky
Stucky
June 2, 2014 11:11 am

“An Amazon Spokeswoman assured CNN that the increase in robot workers will have no influence on the number of people employed.” —————– from the article

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

That comment is now the NUMBER THREE LIE of all time, following ….

———- 1) I won’t come in your mouth
———- 2) The check is in the mail

Leobeer
Leobeer
June 2, 2014 11:19 am

Robots :

-don’t lie
-don’t steal
-come to work every day and never are late
-don’t bitch… about being overworked, asked to do overtime, management or co-workers
-don’t demand pay raises
-don’t get pregnant
-don’t require coffee, lunch and toilet breaks
-don’t get accused of sexual harassment
-don’t require vacations

Leobeer
Leobeer
June 2, 2014 11:26 am
AWD
AWD
June 2, 2014 12:04 pm

And robots don’t stare at their phones while at work, don’t take drugs, and don’t sue you for sexual harassment or racial discrimination. Robots can’t join unions, go on strike, and bankrupt the company. And, there is no affirmative action, quotas, and promotions based on race alone. What’s going to happen to all the plaintiff attorneys and race-baiting racists clamoring for free shit?

Stucky
Stucky
June 2, 2014 12:21 pm

AWD

You ignorant slut!! Whatchya gonna do when the robot GOES BAD??? Hmmmm, dumbass?

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Zarathustra
Zarathustra
June 2, 2014 12:23 pm

I know something about automated warehouses. I was involved in the design of one using an ASRS (Automated Storage and Retrieval System) for pallets of dairy products back in the 90’s. It had 2,500 pallet positions, on racks 7 high with two robotic cranes. Orders for less than a case were done at manual stations using a “pick to light” system. This design reduced labor personnel in the cooler from over 100 to less than 20.

With their many thousands of SKU’s (Standard Keeping Units), I have wondered how in the world Amazon functions. This is a cool video. Sorry kids but automation is here to stay…well that is as long as our Just In Time, energy intensive economy still functions.

While they don’t show it, I am sure that stock replenishment is done at least partially manually.

Stucky
Stucky
June 2, 2014 12:23 pm

The REAL reason AWD loves robots …. robots don’t want your dollar.

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bb
bb
June 2, 2014 12:51 pm

AWD ,you need a robot you can have sex with.Just think of all the advantages. I bet you will buy the first one that comes out.Then you’ll no longer be the AWD.You’ll be the HWD.

bb
bb
June 2, 2014 12:57 pm

Mr Z ,did you read that article on the AMERICAN THINKER blog about Islam being the greatest mass murdering machine in history.?That’s just a little of the history of this satanic killing machine.(religion) Once you understand the history you can’t call this religion peaceful or good .

AWD
AWD
June 2, 2014 1:02 pm

bb

Go fuck yourself

Zarathustra
Zarathustra
June 2, 2014 1:21 pm

bb, American Thinker is a shitbag neocon propaganda dispenser, so the answer is no.

Llpoh
Llpoh
June 2, 2014 5:58 pm

Bob – business does not exist to provide jobs. That is often a secondary benefit to society. I am in business solely to make money. If replacing my employees with robots would ensure the survival of my business and make me more money, I would not hesitate to do it. Failure to do so would eventually send my company broke. But fortunately, for the most part and at this time, robots do not exist that can replace them. So I have to continue to put up with the bullshit that comes with employing someone.

Anyone who has never employed someone really has no idea how unpleasant the experience is. Even the very best employees are at times very stressful and difficult to manage.

No sane person would go through the bullshit if there was an option.