Son, thanks for calling today

We probably don’t need another Father’s Day post. But, Admin graciously lets me post whatever the heck I want. This post is actually intended for my two sons.

I took Opa to a picnic yesterday … the one his Singing Club puts on every year. It’s always nice these days when I go somewhere and I’m the youngest person there. I think the average age must be in the 80’s. Hilde is probably messing up the average as she is just a few years shy of 100.

The first hour or so the old folks argued – sometimes quite heatedly, but all in good fun — about the World Cup. It’s somewhat weird too see people that old be that passionate about a game … the Beautiful Game. When Oma was in the rehab center discussions often centered around which laxative was best, whether Polident Supergrip was better than the regular product, and their other ailments. Not these people … they still have a lot of life left.

The other thing Old Folks do is reminisce of days gone by. That just comes with the territory. Without exception, every person there lived through WWII, some as soldiers, some as civilians. Like you when I used to tell you my ancient stories, I used to be “bored” by them. What was the point, I’d wonder. But, no longer. There’s gold in them there hills. I realize now my own story is finely intertwined with my dad’s story, and now I listen closely and intensely. It paints a clearer picture of who I am, and why. Let me tell you just one story.

Jurgen lived in Dortmund, and was a schoolboy during WWII. Dortmund is an industrialized city in the Ruhr Valley. Therefore, the Allied bombing of that city was frequent and heavy. Just last year a 4,000 pound LIVE bomb was diffused inside the city limits. One morning a bomb hit the far end of the school. After the bombing subsided it was up to teachers AND CHILDREN to look for dead bodies. They found several. Jurgen said the kids could barely stand to look at the spilled guts. Instead, they looked at the eyes … to see whether or not the poor soul was …….. blinking. Non-blinkers were loaded up into the cart which was already prepared beforehand. After the gruesome detail was over, the teacher ordered the kids back to school. Just to be sure I heard correctly, I practically shouted at Jurgen, “You went back to school??? In a just bombed building????”. “Selbstverständlich!”. “Of course,” he said, “We couldn’t allow bombs to stop learning. For some of us, it was all we had left.”. I don’t know if that’s a universal German mindset. But, it was Jurgen’s, and your Opa’s. Maybe that will help you better understand why through all these years the first thing both Oma and Opa asked you is; are you studying hard, what kind of grades did you get, are you practicing your music hard? They weren’t nagging. They wanted to impart to you what they felt was one of life’s great pleasures … knowledge. More than a few times (to my shame) I would complain to Oma that I wish we had more money to do things other kids did. She would often respond with this old German proverb …. you’ve heard her tell it to you; “Klugheit ist besser als Gold oder Silber“ ……… Wisdom is better than gold or silver.

I asked you to call Opa today. There were fewer people there this year than last year. Just last month, the president of the club died. This is the first year my godfather, Onkel Bernt, didn’t attend. He’s down to 105 pounds and this past year was diagnosed with emphazema. Next year we’ll be “remembering” him. Considering Oma’s and Opa’s age, every phone call could be “THAT” phone call. I hate the sound of ringing phones.

You said you would call him –(I know how much you love him.) – but, you were not sure what to talk about, and that he always talks about the same thing. You know he’ll talk about soccer, but you don’t have a TV and don’t know what’s going on. Well, you have a computer. So, go to ESPN and click on the game highlights. Make sure you click on the Spain-Netherlands game …. boy, did he love that game! You’ll have plenty to talk about. And, remember, he’s 90 years old. He is what he is. You won’t die of a heart attack if you talk about the same old stuff. Before you call, PLEASE do watch this video. And, learn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=2kpLDkWg5DA

As your dad, I have regrets raising you. I had a short temper, and I was often too impatient, amongst other faults. I’ll never forget one day in particular when you were 11. Your mom and I had an argument. You came running downstairs and begged ‚”Please daddy, don’t go divorcing.”, It broke my heart. I promised I wouldn’t. But, years later, I did. Your mom and I, our differences were too great to overcome. I told you a quote I recently heard — “There are no perfect fathers. But, a father will love perfectly.” This is where I heard it;

I told you that despite my shortcomings I always have and always will love you. You gave me the greatest Father’s Day gift ever with those three words, “I know that!”.

 So, thanks so much for calling.

Love,

Dad

Author: Stucky

I'm right, you're wrong. Deal with it. View all posts by Stucky