CAN SSS VERIFY HIS WHEREABOUTS?

SSS lives in Tucson. He’s old. He probably uses a mobility scooter. And he does like Wal-Mart. He also can be a bit crotchety. Just sayin.

Arizona Cops Hunt Walmart Theft Suspect Who Made His Getway On A Mobility Scooter

Arizona cops are seeking the public’s help in identifying a thief who fled Walmart on a mobility scooter after pinning a worker to the wall during his escape.

As seen in the above store surveillance video, the suspect was confronted earlier this month by a female Walmart employee near the Tucson store’s exit as he sought to leave with unpaid items in his scooter’s front basket.

After some evasive driving, the suspect ran into the Walmart worker, driving her backwards into a large blue bin. As two men came to aid the woman, the suspect drove out of the store on his gray ride.

According to police, the suspect, who is around 50, is a white male with brown hair and a mustache. The man, who was carrying crutches and wore a red University of Arizona baseball cap, is a suspect in a prior theft at the same Walmart.


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9 Comments
Iska Waran
Iska Waran
July 26, 2016 2:06 pm

Is this him? http://www.kare11.com/news/crime/90-year-old-man-charged-with-sex-crime-at-edina-pool/280687203 It’s not Arizona, but maybe he summers up here in MN. If it is SSS, it looks like he’ll be in custody for a while. Hey, who doesn’t like “pretty ladies”?

Bea Lever
Bea Lever
July 26, 2016 2:36 pm

That is without doubt the Spookmeister, there is a Ted Cruz 2016 sticker on the back of his scooter seat.

acetinker
acetinker
July 26, 2016 3:41 pm

Shame on me. Robbery and assault is never funny- except when it is.
I think I just peed a little.

Ed
Ed
July 26, 2016 4:10 pm

Nah, “around 50” ain’t even old enough to be retired from the fedgovtit. SSS is in the clear on this one.

SSS
SSS
July 26, 2016 4:43 pm

I was golfing godammit!!!

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Chicago999444
Chicago999444
July 27, 2016 7:06 am

These folks on their scooters and motorized wheelchairs are a bigger hazard on the sidewalk than a clutch of Gangster Disciples shouting war chants at the Black P Stone Nation thugs across the street. Don’t those things have speed governors on them?

Still worse, though, are the old Asian women on their bicycles. These old women are the true terror of the city. When an old Chinese crone gets astraddle a bike, she undergoes a Jekyll/Hyde type change of personality, and the timid, shuffling 4’5″ tall little wrinkled bag of bones suddenly becomes The Hag From Hell, her eyes full of hell-fire and her teeth bared. Just jump clear as fast as you can.

SSS
SSS
July 27, 2016 4:37 pm

“That is without doubt the Spookmeister, there is a Ted Cruz 2016 sticker on the back of his scooter seat.”
—-Bea Lever

Good one. If I had to use a scooter (perish the thought), I would indeed have put an “I’m on Cruz Control” sticker on it. But the SSS doppleganger (probably Stucky) above is correct – I usually have an excellent alibi called a golf course.

Bea Lever
Bea Lever
July 27, 2016 5:43 pm

I have come to know you well SSS, hope that you are in good health and enjoying your golf.

Stucky
Stucky
July 27, 2016 8:47 pm

SSS

Wasn’t me. I’ve been out most of the day, and when I wasn’t out Ms Freud was using the computer.