(on a brighter note than usual…)
I love being a dad, I really do. But sometimes my kids do things that, well, test me. Last night I received a frantic call from my wife that water was pouring through the ceiling, soaking multiple rooms going all the way down to the basement. By the time I got home, I found pools of water in the dining room, a constant stream of water running down our chandelier, an entire section of carpeting soaked upstairs and water making its way all the down to the basement. It was quite a site. Here’s what happened:
Continue Reading Why My Kid Flooded Our Home and Share Your Worst Kid Story!
I said, “Yes”, to this question; — “Dad, can I borrow the car?”.
My car was parked in the driveway in its normal spot. The kids always played hockey in the driveway. I come out one morning and the windshield is cracked. I know it was a hockey puck. I asked the three kids who did it. That was 8 years ago. No one has ever admitted to it. I think that was a $300 kid cost.
There are many others of a similar variety with cell phones going into pools with the kid. iPods going through the washer. Cell phones snapped in half while skateboarding. Kitchen cabinets ripped off their hinges (no one has fessed up for that one yet either).
Well, I might not consider it a mistake, but the most expensive thing my kids have ever done was–depart the womb.
Darwin — wow, until this moment I had no idea you had your own blog. Nice!!!
Are you doing it full time? Is it a moneymaker? (I realize the last question may be none of my fucking business so it’s OK if you don’t answer.)
WHO ELSE HERE HAS A BLOG / WEBSITE ???
Stucky
Not only does Darwin have a website, he lives down the street from me. We met at a neighborhood Christmas party when he heard me bitching about the state of the country to some other neighbors.
Hey Stucky,
I’ve been blogging for a few years now, pretty much since I presented the idea of blogging for my thesis as a means to earn extra money on the side while working a full-time job for a New Ventures class in my MBA program – upon doing my presentation, my professor laughed and said nobody makes any money blogging. It’s all history from there…
I make decent money at it, can’t complain at all – it’s enough to pay for a nice vacation each year and sock away some money for the kids’ college funds. Here’s a recent income update, I’m pretty transparent with the readers (even though I’m anon?).
I doubt I’ll ever make enough to do it full-time, but in the event the worst happens, I lined up a few opportunities on the side to blunt the pain – real estate, small biz, blog…
By the way, I loved your coverage of the Wall Street protests, hilarious; tweeted that out earlier.
I worked with a lady whose kid set the kitchen on fire trying to make french fries.
Hey Administrator, will you please post an article about Obama / Holder’s likely false flag accusation of an assassination attempt by Iranians?
It is critically important that all of us stop this bullshit before the Zionist, neocon / neolibs start another insane war. This one will be the worst by far.
Here’s a link to an interview calling BS on this alleged plot.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2011/10/12/iran-terror-plot-skeptic-leverett.cnn
Yes, small world meeting Jim up the road. We were at a Christmas party with a bunch of guys huddled around Jim in some sort of dark conversation. So of course, I migrated over there to see what they were planning :> I found Jim to have some really insightful and likeminded outlooks on the economy and our nation’s debt situation – then he mentioned his blog! What a small world. The first fellow blogger I’ve ever met in real life!
My dog repair was worse than any from my kids.
Late one spring when the A/C unit wasn’t blowing cold, I called the repair guy to come check it out thinking it just needed a shot of gas or something. He comes walking in the house and says “You know your dog’s been peeing on the condenser unit?”
Knowing full well that all winter long my sissified german shorthair would hug the houseline rather than tramp through even 3″ of snow, and knowing further that I’d seen him lift the leg on the unit multiple times (figuring I’d just hose it off when the weather broke), I simply replied “Yea, so what?”
Evidently something in dog pee accelerates the electrolysis between differing metals, copper, aluminum, etc. , and completely destroyed the coiling beyond repair.
$3500 later, we had a new A/C unit. Thanks Moe!
Oh, and before they installed it, I built a little 2′ high platform from treated lumber – like a mini deck – for the unit to sit on so the damn dog couldn’t do it again.
A friend of mine had two kids and watched them going back and forth down the hall with buckets of water for several minutes before her brain kicked in and she followed them to see what they were doing. They were pouring the buckets into her bed. She freaked. Their explanation was they were making her a waterbed.
Jim, don’t forget when Jimmy put the hose nozzle down the sewer pipe in the front yard just to see what would happen. We needed an emergency night plumber for that one.
Then there was the time our oldest was around 5 or 6 and was playing outside with 2 friends. They decided it would be fun to throw ALL of the plum tomatos from our garden at the neighbors white pickup truck across the street on a hot summer day. omg, we got a million stories……..all parents do I suppose!
We knew there was a problem with the plumbing when Avalon turned on the washing machine and mounds of soap bubbles started coming out of the downstairs toilet.
I didn’t think Jimmy would make it past 3 years old. It was either him or me that had to go.
Darwin, I feel for you and your wife, flooding is a nightmare. And all for a hermit crab…. Your kids are young you have many years of fun ahead of you 🙂
Chip off the old block, eh? 😉
Makes me think of all the things I did as a kid that made my parents wish the same thing…
Thanks for the info Darwin.
Love your open and transparent stance!
I think Obama once promised that. Mebbe you can send him an email and show him how it’s really done!
I make my kids pay me a “stupid tax” (that’s what I call it) every time they fuck up royally. Takes the edge off the issue and makes them realize that if they remain stupid, it will cost them in the wallet. Works quite well, I might add (although the ass beatings my mom and dad gave me were FAR more effective). Eventually the kids just get too old for that, so I still hit them in the ass but it’s their wallet instead of their bare skin. Again, every effective. 🙂
Worst things my kids did?
Reproduced themselves/
Truly sorry this happened to you. Admire the way you handled it with your son.
My kids have been pretty reserved. My dad’s kids – not so much. Most expensive stupidity was when my brother burnt down farmer John’ s barn. Bummer for farmer John because my brother had co-opted the farmer’s kids in the arson. But make no mistake – it was my brother behind it. He made Damien look like a choirboy.
We were at a funeral reception at a relatives home. They have an indoor pool and hot tub. My 3 year old son walks in to a crowded room of quite people and says in a stage whisper ” Hey…..who the hell is the fat guy in the hot tub?”
WHO ELSE HERE HAS A BLOG / WEBSITE ??? – Stucky
Not me. I don’t even have time to read everything here. 🙁
We’ve been very blessed that way. The only things that come to mind are 2 single-vehicle accidents, one involving a barb-wire fence and the other, hydroplaning (on the day of high school graduation).
Fortunately, hubby did auto body work in a previous life and a friend owns a body shop. Between the two of them, there wasn’t too much out-of-pocket expense, just their labor, some paint, and a few used parts, oh, and the toll it took on our nerves.
Dear daughter is now almost 27 and (I hope) a much more careful driver.
With a Toto bathtub, you can preset the water depth and avoid overflows.
http://www.totousa.com/Neorest/AirBath.aspx
Wow, these are some great stories. Could have an entire blog based on “shitmykidsdid” or something along those lines.
I got off easy compared to some of you!
Youngest of four totaled two of wife’s cars and took 6 years to get through 4 years of college. At my expense of course.
Lilly-Livered-Piece-Of-Horseshit told me that he and Smoke-my-pole have a blog called “If only I had grown up without a dick in my mouth”. Does that count? They have another one called “Me and all my roudy friends are suckin dick tonight”.