Following the death of the first person diagnosed with Ebola in the United States, concerns about the deadly hemorrhagic virus are running high throughout the country. Here is everything you need to know about Ebola:
What is Ebola?
Ebola is an infectious, often fatal virus. For more complete information, consult your own darkest paranoid nightmares.
How do you contract Ebola?
Ebola is contracted through contact with a health care system that vastly overestimates its preparedness for a global pandemic.
What are the symptoms of Ebola?
Severe flu-like symptoms that a CNN cameraman is filming.
How long does it take for symptoms to first appear?
Anywhere from two to 10 days after passing through U.S. customs.
How is Ebola treated?
The virus is eventually killed when the body begins naturally decomposing inside a coffin several feet underground.
Do I have Ebola?
Not yet.
How dangerous is Ebola?
Easily Africa’s fourth or fifth most pressing issue.
I come into frequent physical contact with Ebola-infected blood, urine, saliva, stool, and vomit. Am I at risk of contracting Ebola?
Yes.
Is there a risk of Ebola spreading further?
If Dallas authorities fail to properly contain the disease, it may spread as far as Plano and Fort Worth.
How are Ebola outbreaks contained?
Great question!
What are airports doing to screen passengers?
Questionnaire based on fundamental assumption that those in desperate need of medical attention would not lie to get out of western Africa and into the U.S.
How many people could die if Ebola begins spreading in the United States?
Projections are currently imprecise but range anywhere from 318.8 million to 319.0 million Americans.
When will all this Ebola hysteria end?
For you? At exactly 11:18 a.m. on Tuesday, Oct. 28.
“What are airports doing to screen passengers?
Questionnaire based on fundamental assumption that those in desperate need of medical attention would not lie to get out of western Africa and into the U.S.”
I realize this post is from The Onion, but additional measures have been taken in 5 U.S. airports:
“At Newark Airport in New Jersey, there’s a quarantine room set up by the CDC in a corner of the airport for taking temperatures. Other locations selected for the ramped up measures: JFK, Washington-Dulles, Chicago and Atlanta.
The federal government says those airports account for 94 percent of all people who travel between the US and affected areas of West Africa.”
http://www.myfoxboston.com/story/26741285/ebola-screenings-begin-at-5-us-airports
Yeah. Taking temperatures. That will stop the virus from entering ‘Murka!! LMFAO.
Let’s get fuckin’ real. Ban flights from ebola infected countries. That’s a good start.
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Ah Stuck, everyone knows that giving something wings to spread, does NOT spread disease.
It’s magical. Oops, procedural.
Dengue Fever is spreading throughout China and SE Asia right now.
So it goes without saying the best thing we could do is fly a few infected people into this country because we don’t have it yet.
Funny thing about Dengue? It’s symptoms don’t seem a ton different from Ebola. Things that make you go, hmmm?
So I just hopped onto a trip site and found I can get a round trip ticket to Liberia for $750. One stop both ways. Two days in country.
Luckily, it is Atlanta the route goes through.
So, if I fly to West Africa, get infected, get back on the plane, arrive back in ATL, present with no symptoms (yet), not know that the burger I ate was made by a guy that just started coughing, then hit the connecting flight and get home, the risk of a few hundred people being infected has been removed by the thermometer and “questions” in ATL.
Thank goodness. They seem to have it completely under control. No worries.
Anyone care to join me for a carefree weekend in the tropics?
Ebola is the cure for AIDS.
” I come into frequent physical contact with Ebola-infected blood, urine, saliva, stool, and vomit. Am I at risk of contracting Ebola? ”
So you’ve been with MSF too?? Wasn’t I lucky to do my volunteering decades ago, when this was NOT Global News!!
We always get that not so great phosphotungstate stained Ebola TEM false colour image! There are better (and more photogenic) SEM images – nothing like virtual 3-D pics of “what’s going to kill you”!!
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and
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