Who says we have an obesity problem in ‘Murica? I’d love to see a picture of the bride and groom.
‘MURICA
Skip to content
‘Murica………
So, my niece announced, on FB, she is now a lesbian. A few in the family believe she is doing this because it’s now fashionable and cool to be gay, she craves attention, if she’s not posting on FB she is depressed and wants to die, it’s fuck the system, now this…….
Her mother suggested, on FB, that she attend the Michigan Womyns Festival this August. It’s a 40 year old festival celebrating womyness, and don’t bother going to the website, nothing but fat bull dykes in crop tops and boys shorts.
Anyway this is the last year of the festival, I was curious so I looked into it. Remember all the bullshit in the media, the demonstrations, the boycotts, the demands to close down private business and the death threats to Chic-Fil-A, Hobby Lobby, the bakers, pizza makers, photographers, and diesel shop owners if they didn’t cater to gays? Tolerance, Acceptance, Equal RIghts was the cry.
The Michigan Womyns Festival will not allow transgenders in their festival. Too funny! They contend to be allowed onto the “Land” you must be born a woman and raised as a woman, period. If they find a transgender you will be escorted off the property as they have done in the past.
Where is the outrage, the media, the death threats………….Fucking asshole hypocrites.
Card- It bothers me more that your sister is pushing your niece to embrace lesbianism by attending the Womyns Festival and hang out with all the dykes. This appears to be some sort of mental condition.
Sorry, not my niece, my cousin. Most of the family on that side are mental.
Yesterday one of my liberal neighbors was letting two teenage girls ride his four wheeler around with a 3X5 rainbow flag. People will be sorry for letting this Beast out of the barn and celebrating it. .
Greetings,
I see this differently on two levels. First, if people wish to voluntarily remove themselves from the gene pool by hooking up with the same sex then I’m all for it as there appears to be no shortage of people. Frankly, we should have 24/7 hyper-marketing to the immigrants and the poor that being gay is the ONLY way to go. After all, if you can convince 80% of the American public that Saddam was behind 911 then you can get the poor to do about anything you wish. I say we give it a try.
Second, the food at this wedding looks disgusting. I may not have tons of money but I can tell you one thing, I put quality food at the top of my list of things to acquire. I don’t give a crap about my car. I purchase nothing but designer clothes but all second hand. I do not care about cutting edge gadgets and will gladly use whatever was “hot” two years ago. No, what I do care about is what I stick in my mouth.
The people that eat like that will soon discover that there is no future for them here on this world of finite resources. If and when things fall apart, they will be the first to go.
Nickel Thrower ,are you so cheap you WON’T ever buy yourself…NEW DESIGNER CLOTHES..?. What iswrong with you ? How are you ever going to find a nice woman if you go around looking like a grumpy old man.
My late wife loved Oxford shirts. Retail $40. She had a bunch of them. Never-worn, from Goodwill at two bucks apiece.
That sort of thinking was common in both her family and mine. The reason they changed the design of the nickel was because those folks squeezed them so hard that the buffalo shit. But, that made for plenty of fertilizer for the garden.
Obesity? None anywhere in my family. Okay, my son does look a bit “prosperous” around the middle, but, hell, he’s getting old. 53, now. 🙂 Still does 100-mile days on his bicycle, though.
I like gluttonous food like that…but in moderation.
Stuff like deepfried oreos are freaking DELICIOUS, but only someone who is an expert in abusing their body can eat more than 1-2 of the damned things.
Caloric restriction is king when it comes to denying your inner ham-planet. A 3 mile run can be undone by one bad decision at meal time.
@bb
I can find items still with the tag on them at various thriftstores and I am more than willing to spend $10 on an item that would have been $160 new. I penny pinch on damn near everything but food. That people will spend $$$$ every month for a new car yet shove crap into their mouths is something that I can’t wrap my mind around.
Oh yeah, same holds true with beer.
Ms Freud and I had our 8th anniversary today. I’m just going to ramble about the day.
Seriously, as a couple, we have never been to the shore together. She loves the beach. I don’t. What’s so goddamn special about sitting in the blazing sun. on hot as coals sand, sweating, and “swimming” in the ocean which now is limited to about 75′ from the shoreline. And the ocean was a big fat pussy today. I’ve seen bigger waves in a small pond.
We went to Seaside Heights — the joint that got devastated in Hurricane Sandy … you probably recall the roller coaster sitting in the ocean. The place is pretty much completely rebuilt. We saw a handful of dilapidated buildings, that’s all. The boardwalk itself is completely rebuilt and looks great. We are so proud to pay shitloads of taxes to have made that happen. I’ve been to Seaside many times as a teenager. As nice a job as they did … it was STRANGE not seeing that old roller coaster (they didn’t replace it) on the pier. Sort of like not see the Twin Towers anymore. Anyway, I haven’t been to Seaside in 30 years or so.
What I saw was rather shocking. EVERYTHING our Admin wrote about Wildwood is absolutely true in Seaside.
90% of women wearing two-piece bikinis ……….. SHOULDN’T!!! I saw things today that I can’t un-see, things I NEED to erase from the memory banks. 200 – 300 pound land-whales wearing ….. THONGS!! Cellulite heaven. Without a minimum of exaggeration, 50% of the women, and men, were morbidly obese. Not a one of them — obviously — giving a flying fuck about parading their DefCon-5 abortions in front of the public.
I am 100% in favor of forcing American women to wear the mooslim Hijab!!
What was most disconcerting to both of us were the number of CHILDREN who were morbidly obese. I’m talking about KIDS … maybe as young as 6 or 7, with their distended bellies, like those old pictures of Biafra chill’un. I think we had five or so obese kids in my high school graduation class of 450. We wondered, what the fuck is wrong with their parents???
Tattoos were the other shock for both of us. Maybe we need to get out more. Men, women, and especially teenagers. Not a pretty tattoo in sight. Ugly shit. HUGE tats covering the entire back, or chest. A mass of ink that was not decipherable. One teenager in particular … she sat maybe 30 feet from us. First problem, her skin tone was as white as a sheet. Second problem; black hair and half of it shaven right to her skull. Third problem; she had nose, mouth, and eye piercings. Fourth problem; the ink was all one color — blue, which looked horrible considering her skin tone. Fifth problem; all the tats were religious in nature; crosses, demons, and skulls … lots of various skulls. Sixth problem; she had a tat that spanned the width of her chest to both shoulders, and then tapered down to her belly button, like a giant “v”. So, she goes to the water to cool her feet only. I get up and saunter over, you know — all casual, or as casual as a Gigantor can. I’m standing no more than 5 feet from her, glancing at her chest when she’s not looking (oh … seventh problem, she was flat as a board) .. stood there a good solid 15 minutes and never could figure out what the fuck it was. I sooo wanted to ask her but, I’m not — you know — a fucking moran.
So, we buy our Day Pass ($6 each) and the guy at the gate says “Please open your cooler.” Why? Are you with the TSA? Turns out that beer on the beach is now forbidden. So, he rifles through my cooler all the way to the very bottom. Satisfied that my gut is not due to beer, he magnanimously says, “OK you may pass.” Pass?? Ok, thanks ya fuckin beach Gestapo.
Somebody was smoking on the beach. Next thing you hear is The Voice over the loudspeaker; “Smoking is not allowed on the beach or boardwalk. Extinguish your cigarette.” Somebody swims out to 76 feet. Whistles start blowing and lifeguards are waving the guy back 12 inches. Some black kids are chasing seagulls with those long colorful foam sticks. Mr. Loudspeaker instructs the kids to leave the seagulls alone. There are so many rules it’s unbelievable … except rules to keep 300 pound whales from showing pronounced camel-toe.
Everything is so damn expensive. $10 to park. $12 to get in. $3 to take a shower …. really. $6 for a lemonade – sugar water with half a lemon. $8.50 for a Philly Cheese-steak … and it was a small one. $2 for a single strip of chocolate covered bacon. The only thing we bought … macaroons, a dozen fresh baked ones for $13.
And now, the really really sad part of this day. Brace yourselves.
See the ride below? It’s 162 feet high, and makes a circle at 70mph. There’s also one in Wildwood. It costs $20 PER PERSON. But, we happened to get there when it was half price. Ms Freud was not enthusiastic about it. (I’m being kind.) Well, she relents, I pay the $20, and then it’s our turn.
[img
[/img]
I was TOO BIG for the ride! They couldn’t get the handle bars over my shoulder, and get it to “click” in place. You should have seen their effort!! Two kids pushing that motherfucker as hard as they could into my chest … to no avail.
I had to make the “Walk Of Shame” back through the line. “What’s wrong? Is the ride broke?”, inquired a few people. “No”, said I, “I’m too big, and Ms Freud is too small.”. They thought this was hilarious. But, for me, it’s just another humiliation which I will document in my autobiography in the chapter “Too fuckin’ big to do shit in a munchkin world”.
Nice story Stuck.
Thanks, Llpoh. It’s easy to write a good story when ALL you are doing is telling the TRUTH.
I’m pooped, tired, and after what I saw today, I’m suffering from Retinal Failure.
Have a good night, all!
Great adventure .. At least you got outside for a little while.
These seashore stories from Admin. and Stucky are making me extremely glad that I pick Aruba and St Thomas when I feel the need for hot sand and surf. Not a beach person either to tell the truth.
Congrats on your 8th year of wedded bliss, may you have many more. Bea