A Texan walks into an Irish pub and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”
The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.
Ten minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is your bet still good?”, asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.
Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.
The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin’, where did you go for that 10 minutes you were gone?”
The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first”.
I sent this to a Texan friend of mine who just toured Scotland/Ireland last fall.
Apparently the drinking is fun, and the hangovers legendary.
Refreshing….getting tired of all the doom and gloom, the world is going to end articles.
I’ll probably get labeled as a bigot or worse, but here’s something I heard the other day that seems, (as my daughter likes to say), “Topical.”
I was walking through the mall the other day and saw a Muslim book store.
I’d always wondered what they actually sold so I wandered in to look around.
As I was browsing, a clerk stopped to ask if he could help?
I asked, “Do you have Donald Trump’s newest book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?”
Suddenly he became visibly angry and yelled, “F**k you! Get out and stay out!”
I said, “Yeah, that’s the one! Do you have it in paperback?”
Backtable – that was one of the best I’ve ever heard.
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink ?????? Two Texans can……. One holds the horses head in the water and the other takes a suction on his rectum.
Just a joke…I like Texans. My son lives in Austin.
Howdy, all
KOKODA: Some horses will inhale when you cinch the saddle tight (so when you are done he will exhale and the saddle won’t be tight). Maybe if you could hold a horses mouth in water and then punch him in his stomach,and he would “inhale” some water.
I see EC moonlighting over @ Unz , doing his “Ask A Mexican” gig…maybe TBP can get him in the line here?
I’m a residential real estate guy, and this question came up in my group recently. Why is it when Mexicans buy a house, one of the first things they do is put up heavy shades, or even blankets, on all of the windows? Why don’t they let the sun shine in?
Re/Max Ramón
Dear Wab: Three possibilities. The most obvious is that Mexicans like their privacy. If we want the world to see us, we have no problem being outside—that’s why we have parties on the front lawn, couches on the porch, and create gazebos and benches for the outside. But once we’re inside, we don’t want metiches nosing around into our activity. That leads to the second posibilidad: the house might be occupied by multiple families, who do not want the outside world to know that what’s supposed to be a bedroom is actually occupied by a family of five. The least likely answer is also one that all gabachos immediately assume—that it’s a drop house for drugs. The only way to know if that last thing is true? If it’s the one house on the block that gabachos come in and out of. You know what to do…
http://www.unz.com/garellano/why-do-some-mexicans-look-like-asians/?highlight=ask+a+mexican
“Two Texans can……. One holds the horses head in the water and the other takes a suction on his rectum. Just a joke…I like Texans. My son lives in Austin. ”
Only in Austin do you have the rectum-suckers.
Or as they used to say, nothing but steers and queers…
🙂
kokoda says: Refreshing….getting tired of all the doom and gloom, the world is going to end articles.
I hope Sensetti didn’t see that.
What do you call a cowboy hat sitting on a pair of cowboy boots? A texan with the shit kicked out of him.
flash says: I see EC moonlighting over @ Unz , doing his “Ask A Mexican” gig…maybe TBP can get him in the line here?
Gustavo’s column appears regularly in El Paso newspapers. Like George Lopez’s comedy, only gringos find the humor in it.
Here’s the thing, everybody wants to be the special self-deprecating ethnic, I don’t like it. If you want me to dance a Mexican Hat Dance or yelp like a drunk Mariachi, ain’t going to happen. I’d rather you hate me for assuming I know anything than have you like me because I play the endearing dumb Mex.
While I was in college I worked in an office in reston, virginia. I had two coworkers, one from texas, one from oklahoma. They argued about which state was better, constantly. The okie said, I do like the fact that texas cured all it’s homosexuals. They did it by cutting off their middle and ring fingers. You see them at the university of texas football games.
Coyote, you mean you won’t do a Mexican Hat Dance for us? C’mon man. I’ll do my Irish dance. That’s where I stumble and pass out on the couch, then wake up in the morning and wonder why I have all these bruises.
An Englishman, an Irishman, and Scotsman are drinking in a bar.
A fly lands in the Englishman’s pint. The Englishman is incensed, and pushes his beer away and orders another.
A fly lands in the Irish man’s pint. The Irishman looks at the fly, shrugs, and just drinks the fly down.
A fly lands in the Scotsman’s pint. The Scotsman is furious. He picks out the fly, and violently shakes the fly over his pint glass while screaming, “Spit it out ya wee bastard!”
EC, I have no hate or disrespect for you.In fact I do enjoy your specialized wit..If you don’ do the hat dance…fine…..can you tango, then?
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I was just taking the opportunity to note that I do not write a column and therefore I don’t have to stick to one particular predictable point of departure. Some days I white knight with the best of them, other times I fight to defend my own damn self. I like you, flash for two reasons: you don’t shame me for my opinions, you gave me the option to read or skip your long posts, I don’t feel obligated to fulfill your expectations of me and finally, you recognize that my main purpose here is to stir the pot.