Fred hits a grand slam!
In May of 2018, the second year of Mrs. Clinton’s administration, national puzzlement was high over the continuing wave of mass killings. A week before, nineteen children had died in the Blaintree Kindergarten massacre in San Francisco when Mohammed Shah Massoud, Faisal ibn Saud, and Hussein al Rashid burst into the school and began firing.
As in the shooting three months earlier of thirteen in Washington by Mohammed Faisal and Sala al Din Hussein, and in the preceding fire-bombing of the Hancock Tower in Chicago by Farouk ibn Mohammed, experts struggled to make sense of events. The head of Homeland Security, Chupamela Sanchez-Jones, explained it succinctly: “It is almost impossible to prevent attacks when they have nothing in common. What do you look out for? What is the connection between killing children, firebombing a restaurant, and flying aircraft into buildings? There is none. It is baffling.”
Everyone of importance—the New York Times, MSNBC, NPR, the Huffington Post, Mother Jones, and Salon—agreed that there was no obvious motive. Time and again for many years attackers had come from nowhere and killed for no reason. There was no pattern except the strange cry, “Allahu Akbar.”
Mrs. Clinton’s Secretary of Defense, Wilhelmina “Creepy” Crawley, offered an explanation.
“My staff at the Pentagon have determined that “Akbar” is a combination of “AK,” automatic Kalashnikov, which I am told is a form of gun, and BAR, Browning Automatic Rifle. This shows an unwholesome fascination with guns. We are investigating links to the NRA:”
Logic indeed urged control of guns. In October of 2017, three gunmen—Mohammed Massouf, Mohammed Ali ibn Hussein, and Abu Bakr ibn Saud–had shot and killed fourteen people at Starbucks in Philadelphia. They too had shouted about Browning Automatic Rifles.
Priscilla Latvi-Germond, Director the FBI, offered another possibility. “We think the killers may be white-supremacists, perhaps linked to the KKK.” When it was pointed out that few of the terrorists were white, she said that this was evidence of a dangerous spread of White Supremacism to people of color.
Some suggested that the killers were troubled youth who had suffered the trauma of broken homes. Others suspected the aggregate effect of microaggressions over the years.
Desperate to find some common thread, scholars looked to historical events. For example, on November 12, 2015, at a school for retarded adults in San Bernardino, Syed Rezwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik shot dead 14 people. They too had shouted the mysterious “Allahu AK-BAR.”
Then-President B. Hussein Obama was as puzzled as anyone else by this massacre.
He said ,“It is possible that this is terrorist-related, but we don’t know; it is also possible this was workplace-related,” adding, “we don’t know why they did it.”
But there were clues. Rachel Maddow summed it up thusly, “What do all of these shooters have in common? Guns. Whenever someone is shot, a gun is involved. It’s a hundred percent.”
It was inarguable.
Yet inconsistencies persisted. When Omar ibn Osama Mohammed suddenly cut the throat of little Martha Clark, age nine, on the streets of Santa Cruz, neither AK nor BAR was involved. Yet he shouted “Allahu Akbar!” California authorities suggested that the heinous act might be a cry of desperation from a man so impoverished by an unjust society that he couldn’t afford a Browning Automatic Rifle.
Investigation revealed that the young men who had shot up the Starbucks in Philadelphia were of the 150,000 Syrian and Afghan refugees brought in by former President B. Hussein Obama. Perhaps the stress of immersion in a racist white society had proved too much for them, said Salon. Perhaps slow service at Starbucks had produced unbearable frustration. They were responding the only way they could.
The inexplicable bloodshed continued.
In Paris, Ahmad Al Mohammad, Bilal Hadfi, and Brahim Abdeslam among others conducted a murderous rampage, but again no motive, no commonality could be found. Were they out of work and sunk in despair? Were they recently divorced?
Mrs. Clinton’s Attorney General, Lasagna Woodley-Park, said, “As a woman of color I deplore these killings, but I think we need to remember that some of these men were suffering from recent trauma reflecting cultural insensitivity resulting from colonialism, White Privilege, and institutional racism.”
She was referring to the death of Al Mohammad’s daughter of septicemia following a botched genital mutilation, and of Hadfi’s daughter, whom he had been forced to drown in an honor killing after finding the seventeen-year-old kissing her boy friend.
Psychologists agreed that drowning a daughter might cause PTSD, but most of the killers in recent years hadn’t drowned their daughters, only mutilated them. Once again, there seemed to be no commonality.
At Harvard the sociologist Barbara Levin-Oslieber said, “Some studies suggest that it is a matter of malignant hyper-masculinity caused by addiction to violent video games.”
Or perhaps, as B. Hussein Obama had suggested, the killings were due to problems at work. People having disagreements at work often shot up schools and firebombed restaurants. But many felt that there must be some other underlying cause, some pattern. Drug addiction? Extended use of methamphetamines sometimes triggered violence. Failed marriages? Schizophrenia? Bullying in middle school?
Michelle Obama, then the First Lady, had a novel explanation of the Twin Towers that demonstrated the value of a Princeton education. “I think they were trying to land those planes. They weren’t very good pilots, and those big planes must be very hard to fly.”
This actually made a great deal of sense. The Pentagon is close to National Airport. A terribly inexperienced pilot could easily miss the runway.
Mrs. Clinton, not yet a candidate, had made an impassioned plea for control of box-cutters. “We cannot allow these vicious devices to be used to kill thousands of innocent Americans,” she said. The Association of Department Store Managers pointed out that without box-cutters they would not be able to unpack Chinese merchandise. Mrs. Clinton had replied with a magisterial “Unopened boxes are a small price to pay for national security.”
On November 5, 2009, at Fort Hood, Major Nidal Hasan shot and killed 13 people. Outraged, President B. Hussein Obama said that it showed the insanity of the Second Amendment and argued for disarming the military.
Finally a break came. Roberta Prangle-Dinwiddie, head of the American Psychological Association, said in a press conference, “We keep searching for a common thread, but there seems to be only one: perpetrators are all male apart from the ones who aren’t. In a post-colonialist society in which men—ugh!–can no longer batter people of color, their innate aggressiveness seems to be fueling this.”
In his retirement home in Jakarta, Hussein Obama returned from prayer and said that the incident was “regrettable, but understandable in light of the history of oppression and colonialism, and that guns need to be outlawed.”
That, everyone agreed, must be the case, as the killers otherwise had nothing in common.
“Still,” said President-for-Life Clinton, “at least they’re not Mexicans….”
Al Gore chimed in and stated “This is an obvious result of Global Warming”.
I have never read about anything like the Muslim death and destruction cult. Entire nations are terrorized by these savages, creatures.
So what does our nation, and other nations do? They spend more money on security, CIA, NSA, FBI, local law enforcement, state police, TSA, Homeland Security, cameras everywhere, bag checks everywhere. Why are we letting these sub-humans bankrupt us in to providing more and more security?
Christ, if you jay walk and you don’t cooperate, the cop shoots you.
I would think that between the US and Europe and Russia we must be spending $Trillions of dollars, every year. Why not simply crush them?
Dutchman,
Might interest you http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2015/12/10/sessions-senate-moves-ratify-immigration-foreign-muslims-civil-right/
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LOLOLOL! Great piece!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OO7mAEeNRoo
Another fine piece by Fred, full of humor and witticisms. Here’s one that non-Spanish speakers probly missed:
“The head of Homeland Security, Chupamela Sanchez-Jones, explained it succinctly:”
Anyone care to ‘splain?
Hands down the best part is the names of the people in Clinton’s administration. Fucking perfect.
And just to point this out so you don’t all get too carried away with all the terrorism stuff – you still have an orders of magnitude greater chance of having harm inflicted on you or your family by people like the guy in the other thread who murdered the 6 year old. Just saying.
Were they radical Muslims or the ones who just don’t read the pages telling them to kill infidels?
It’s tough to win a war when you can’t even state who the enemy really is.
TBP’ers are the smartest bunch I’ve met on the internet but there are still so many who don’t get it.
Dutchman said:
“Why are we letting these sub-humans bankrupt us in to providing more and more security?
“I would think that between the US and Europe and Russia we must be spending $Trillions of dollars, every year. Why not simply crush them?”
Why? Because ending the insanity ends the perpetual interest payments the sheople make to the central bankers for “borrowing” money they never had in the first place and only printed out of thin air. Why is that so hard to understand? Follow the fucking money……..every penny of it leads straight to the central bank.
Sure interest rates are low but even 0.10% interest on $18,000,000,000,000 is is a significant chunk-o-change. Fiat money printing is the equivalent of the perpetual motion machine.
Dirtscratcher: Chupameta S-J is a mixed race Affirmative Action Clinton appointee. Her momma was a Mexican, daddy a negro and if she is a lesbian, she would sit atop the PC food chain. This is satire but may not be too far from the truff in a Hildabeest administration.
In May of 2018, the second year of Mrs. Clinton’s administration, national puzzlement was high over the continuing exodus of white males from the US to parts unknown.
the tax base has fallen out of the country, and the IMF refuses to load Clinton any more money to pay for her immigration policy.
The nation is full of unemployable felons and uneducated immigrants who refuse to assimilate, living in abject squalor, displacing former ghetto dwellers who now are camped out on the national mall and refuse to move.
Since disarming the population, and refusing to back down from her “one world, one currency” agenda, the US has become a 3rd world country, with broken infrastructure and uselessly slow “hate free” internet connections, long lines at the walmart/relocation camps set up to handle the inflow of more and more refuges from a broken European Union.
Nobody votes anymore, and most folks just wait for their monthly “digital allowance” deposited to their state issued smart phones, that must be spent immediately before inflation reduces the account to useless amounts, or it is bailed into another failing global bank, the last one occurred after Loyd Blankstien was videoed having intercourse with a pig, while wearing a guy fawkes mask. His Identity was confirmed by a birthmark, the shape of 3 6s on the back of his head.
ragman says:
“Dirtscratcher: Chupameta S-J is a mixed race Affirmative Action Clinton appointee. Her momma was a Mexican, daddy a negro…..”
You just perfectly described The Mexican Blackbird!
“Her momma was messcan and her daddy was the ace of spades.”
@ Gator
You are correct about the probability of any of us falling victim to a San Bernardino type attack. Personally, I live in an extremely rural area that is probably pretty low on an Islamic terrorist’s hit list – at least for now-, and I probably have a better chance of winning the Florida Lotto than I do of being killed in a terrorist attack.
I do not fear that scenario , but like so many others, what I do fear is the changing demographics as a result of letting so many Muslims in the country. Thankfully, I am old and may not see the worst of it, but I don’t wish that for my children or grandchildren. When they breed like rats, fail to assimilate into our Western culture, create Sharia zones in our cities, block our streets when they hear the prettiest sound Obama has ever heard, and eventually try, and succeed, to force their culture upon us, that is what I fear. And, based upon what I see from the current administration and the most probable next one, it seems as if it is indeed their sinister plan to create that situation, or worse. Call me paranoid if you will, but it sure seems to me that a demographic overhaul of this country is in the cards. Sorry, but I’m not the type to hold hands and share a Coke with the bastards.
Anon above was me….
@ ragman:
“Chupameta S-J is a mixed race Affirmative Action Clinton appointee. Her momma was a Mexican, daddy a negro and if she is a lesbian, she would sit atop the PC food chain. This is satire but may not be too far from the truff in a Hildabeest administration.”
That’s another humorous take on this, but there’s more! Guess again! (By the way, it’s Chupamela, no “T”)
This guy gets it. His brother was murdered in the San Bernadino musloid attack. h/t Claire @ Sondrakistan
“…Fourth, I believe there is no solution to the jihadist threat short of victory against our enemies. When attacked, one has a basic choice: one can curtail one’s own behavior, in hopes that the enemy can be persuaded not to attack again—or one can accept the challenge, and defeat that enemy. The United States has so far largely chosen the former. For years now, officials of both parties have refused to face the fact that we are targeted by theocratic totalitarian movement, funded and overseen by Saudi Arabia and Iran, among others, which is committed to the destruction of the values essential to civilization. Our current President believes that the war against Islamofascism should be “ended.” But wars are never “ended.” They are either won or lost. Unless we accept the responsibility of victory, attacks like this—like Fort Hood, like Chattanooga, like Little Rock, like Los Angeles, Boston, Garland, Madrid, London, Bali, New Delhi, Delhi, Delhi again, Paris, Paris again, and so many others, including of course New York City—will only continue. War is horrible. But it is not the worst horror. A life without freedom or law is still worse. Peace, said Churchill, cannot be “preserved by praising its virtues.” Nor by lowering flags to half-staff, reading lists of victims’ names, putting “coexist” bumper stickers on your car, having James Taylor play at your press conferences, etc. That may feel nice, but the future of freedom, peace, and civilization requires more than hugs and hashtags. It demands that we compel the Islamist aggressor, who has warred against us since 1979, to cease making war and accept peace on civilized terms. Our family agrees with the sentiment expressed by Christopher Hitchens: “We might practice nailing the colors to the mast rather than engaging in a permanent dress rehearsal for masochism and the lachrymose.” It is for this reason that we choose not to participate in public demonstrations of mourning.”
May 2018 was generally accepted as the start of the Sino-Russian reconstruction era post the Nuclear WW3. The survival of a considerable fraction of both Russian and Chinese populations being attributed to effective and plentiful shelter construction (Russia), and the formerly-mocked Chinese “Ghost Cities” which turned out to be anything but Ghost Cities.
After initial minor, mainly political skirmishes, the path to WW3 began in earnest with the Turkish Government imposing a blockade (Bosporus), in response to invited Russian troop and air support action in Syria and Iraq. Russia attempted to use accepted International Negotiation channels (namely UN) but their presentation was ignored, with the US receiving a standing ovation for condemning “Russian Aggression”, and proposing further substantial sanctions – a proposal that received the required number of votes for acceptance. In the meantime the US increased its “Freedom of Navigation” patrols around the Chinese-claimed new land in the South China Sea, and in response to the “success” in the UN, the decision was made to sail within China’s claimed “territorial waters”, the view of the Pentagon being that such an action would send a “clear and unambiguous message to China that you just cannot ‘build’ an island, and then claim territorial rights”.
Like Russia, China formally complained via the usual Diplomatic process, and like Russia, the complaints were ignored. Political friction ratcheted up a lot when an “un-named source” in the Pentagon remarked that China would have to do things the American way, otherwise China would never see any of the debt repaid. The US Presidential front-runners at that time were unanimous in supporting this concept, with Mrs Clinton announcing on Mainstream Media that “China is in America’s pocket, and China WILL obey American wishes, or else”. This did wonders for her candidacy, and propelled her to an unassailable position, probably helped a little by MSM “dirt-digging” where Donald Trump was concerned.
These actions led to an immediate consolidation of Sino-Russian relationships; Chinese (or Russian) hackers managed to break in to most Western News channels, and upload a joint statement from the Chinese and Russian Leaders listing the provocative actions of the West, and making the very clear statement that all sanctions / actions must be stopped, reparations paid, and military forces withdrawn, otherwise “the necessary actions will be taken to assure our safety”. Apart from the expected flurry of “condemnations” and finger-pointing where Russia and China were concerned, no-one noticed that Russian and Chinese embassy staff were quietly but rapidly leaving the West, so when the US President demanded to speak with the Chinese and Russian Ambassadors, it came as a slight surprise to find that the Embassies were shuttered. That message was not missed by the few remaining moderates, but as usual they were shouted down by the neocon majority (who were convinced that the US Military could give Russia AND China an ass-whooping they’ll never forget).
As is often the case, there could have been a cooling off of hostilities, however the Chinese situation got out of control when possibly a trigger-happy individual on one of the US Fleet sailing 5nm of the coast of one of the disputed “Sand Castles” decided to launch at the Chinese aircraft heading in for a very close look. Most were able to take evasive action but three were destroyed. China retaliated via land-based precision artillery which led to the immediate loss or disablement of most of the US force. The war could have stopped there, but the US used this opportunity to annul all debts owed to China, and to confiscate all Chinese-owned US assets. China and Russia demanded payment of all debt in hard assets (gold or equivalent), basically “or else”, and the answer of course was “get stuffed”. Russia rolled into Ukraine, China remotely shut down all US infrastructure (very smart back doors in all their SCADA architecture), US regarded this as “Act of War” (bit late there), and threatened a nuclear response. China / Russia did not budge an inch, so nuclear response it was.
This was the shortest World War, and by far the most destructive, especially for what used to be “The West”. Lack of operating infrastructure (see above) and minimal shelter provision led to horrendous immediate and downstream casualties. There were rumours that the “well-connected” had their shelters, but there were also rumours that such locations were prime targets. The number of weapons used was minimal, and environmental / climate effects, though initially severe, did resolve over the following months. Survivors formed loose associations, and competition for essential needs was intense. This in turn led to further loss of life, with the most intense bloodshed being associated with the most heavily armed, so what used to be America saw a further significant die-off as a result of such tribal warfare.
Whilst Russia and China saw very heavy losses, total population losses were significantly less, and infrastructure survival was very good – probably because of sheer land mass (Russia). With terrestrial resources (oil / gas / minerals) intact, and enough Industrial capacity remaining (useably) intact, reconstruction was an early priority, and co-operation resulted in a return of a “semblance of normality” – the Ghost Cities which were ignored as targets certainly helped, and a comfortable population was a productive population.
So dawned the “end of The West”, and the new World Order – where co-operation rather than confrontation was the accepted norm.
Sigh, Fred nails it.
These libtard proglodytes will be screaming “Islam is the Religion of Peace” as the current practioners of Islam are busy shooting/crucifying/beheading/raping/robbing/mutilating genitals/stoning and generally gutting these libtards like clams.
I guess it is all okay as long as it isn’t Tea Party-white-heterosexual-NRA members-JudeoChristians doing all these violent acts. Oh boy, then the libtards would be calling for the FEMA camps.
We. Are. In. The. Best. Of. Hands.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chupamela
Here’s our allies:
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2007/05/the-kingdom-in-the-closet/305774/
In Spain it was chupame polla.
Chupamela Sanchez ? Fred made my day 😀
Mexican Blackbird final line: “The wings of the blackbird will spread like an eagle for you”
The glory of Rock’n’Roll. They don’t make songs like that anymore.