White House Now Accepting Applications For New First Lady

Via Medium

Shake-up at the highest level continues as President Trump says current wife “doesn’t have all the qualifications I’m looking for”

Sources says President Trump has soured on America’s current First Lady. (Credit: firstpost.com/AP)

 

The rapid staff turnover creating upheavals in the White House extended into its private quarters this week as sources say the president is now reviewing applications for a new First Lady.

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“Mr. Trump has told aides he’s getting close to having the cabinet and staff he wants, but there are still missing pieces on the family front,” revealed one White House source who spoke on condition of anonymity. “The president specifically told John Kelly that he wants to see Melania out by April.”

Two of the applicants vying for the role of new First Lady. (Credit: facet.wp.pl)

 

While many inside the White House were aware that there was tension between the president and First Lady, and that Mr. Trump did not believe Melania was being as loyal to him as she should be, it was her recent unwillingness to hold his hand at public events that seemed to tip the scales against her.

“The president really soured on his current wife after she recently bucked against his tryst with porn star Stormy Daniels,” continued the inside source. “Mr. Trump felt that Melania should have been more understanding about the sleazy affair, especially since he agreed to stay with her even though her belly got really fat during her pregnancy.”

Things seemed to go south for the first couple when it was revealed that Mr. Trump had been schtuping a porn star while Melania was pregnant with their only child. (Credit: intouchweekly.com)

 

It is not clear when the president plans to fire the First Lady and bring on a fresh face, but a statement from the White House communications office made her departure seem imminent: “The president has communicated to Melania Trump that she has done an excellent job and that he wishes her luck in her next endeavor, whatever that should be.”

An official termination tweet from the president is expected any day.

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10 Comments
SemperFido
SemperFido
March 27, 2018 5:15 pm

Ok, that was funny

BoB
BoB
March 27, 2018 5:31 pm

I respect this guy (Trump) more every day.

Crawfisher
Crawfisher
  BoB
March 27, 2018 7:08 pm

I pray he declares an national state of emergency and builds the figgin wall.

whiskey tango foxtrot
whiskey tango foxtrot
March 27, 2018 8:16 pm

She’s always struck me as a class act; a true lady with a capital L.

EL Coyote the Dumbfuck AKA
EL Coyote the Dumbfuck AKA
  whiskey tango foxtrot
March 27, 2018 9:07 pm

Of course, moran. It goes without saying. Melania is the new Jackie. Then again, Jack had nothing on swingin’ dick Trumpy.

js
js
March 27, 2018 10:19 pm

Trump has sex with consenting adult females. This is rare behavior for POTUS. We are supposed to give two fucks about this?! Are you guys CNN?!?

Dutchman
Dutchman
  js
March 28, 2018 10:54 am

CNN = Cunt News Network

22winmag - refugee from ZeroHedge who just couldn't take the explosion of doom porn and the avalanche of near-hourly Bitcoin stories
22winmag - refugee from ZeroHedge who just couldn't take the explosion of doom porn and the avalanche of near-hourly Bitcoin stories
March 27, 2018 10:42 pm

Comedy gold!

Dirtscratcher
Dirtscratcher
March 28, 2018 8:58 am

Taking applications for a new First Lady? I’ll take the old one.

RiNS
RiNS
  Dirtscratcher
March 28, 2018 9:41 am

now thats funny..