Guest Post by Darius Foroux
One of the most popular ideas in personal development is that all successful people have achieved mastery. Many of us believe in this false notion that you have to master a skill to achieve career success.
That’s because we, as a society, admire and glorify winners. We look at billionaires, champions, gold medalists, and other outliers. I must admit, there are many lessons we can learn from people who are masters at one particular skill.
But at the same time, it’s very daunting. Let’s be real, not everyone wants to spend 10 or 20 thousand hours to master a skill. We all have other things we value in life: Our family, friends, hobbies, health, you name it.
So when people write books and articles about outliers, we might get inspired, but from a practical point of view, the advice is useless. Not because we can’t apply the advice—most of the time, we don’t WANT to.
A More Realistic Approach To Career Success
I always knew I wanted to live life on my own terms. My definition of success is the same as Bob Dylan’s:
“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night, and in between does what he wants to do.”
I realized that if you want to be successful according to that definition, you need two things: A stable career and enough income.
To be clear, you don’t need to become the best in the world to be successful. Nor do you need to be a millionaire. All you need is a valuable skill set to achieve that level of career success.
Build Your Skill Stack
About three years ago, I made a discovery that changed the course of my career and life. I’ve been working many different jobs since I was 17. I also studied business and marketing, getting a bachelor’s and a master’s degree. In 2010, I started my first business.
Over the years, I’ve developed many skills. Here’s how my skill stack looks like:
- Productivity and time-management
- Persuasion
- Web design
- Writing
- Accounting
- Drawing
- Project management
- Marketing
- Public speaking
- Teaching
I’m not a master at any of these skills. For example, I have poor drawing skills, reasonable web design skills, average marketing skills, solid productivity skills, and good but not great writing skills.
But when I stacked all my skills on top of each other and started blogging, it proved to be a success.
When I read How To Fail At Almost Everything and Still Win Big by Scott Adams, I understood why that was. He calls this concept Talent Stacking (I don’t like the word talent because it implies nature, I prefer skill because it implies nurture), and writes:
“Successwise, you’re better off being good at two complementary skills than being excellent at one.”
Every Skill You Acquire Doubles Your Odds Of Success
Scott Adams writes:
“If you think extraordinary talent and a maniacal pursuit of excellence are necessary for success, I say that’s just one approach, and probably the hardest. When it comes to skills, quantity often beats quality.”
There are many examples of this if you look around you. How many people do you know who are not the best in the world and yet are doing well? It’s all about increasing your odds of success.
You simply have more chance of career success if you have more skills. Think about it. If you’re a one-trick pony, your opportunities are limited. But if you have multiple skills, you’re simply more valuable. And that’s what career success is ultimately about.
It comes down to value. How much value can you give to people or organizations?
“What Skills Will Make Me More Valuable?”
That brings us to the million-dollar question. To be clear, I’m not just using popular language here. This is truly a million-dollar question.
The more skills you have, and the more value you can create, the more rewards you receive. And yes, over your career, that’s probably more than a million bucks. So what are those valuable skills? I personally think you can’t go wrong by developing these skills:
- Productivity—My whole blog’s focus is on productivity for one reason: When you’re a person who can get shit done, you will always find a way. With solid productivity skills, you can learn anything. That’s why I think it’s the first thing we must learn because it makes developing all the other skills a lot easier. Put simply: Productivity is the mother of all skills.
- Persuasion—This is the art and science of communicating in a way that resonates with people. When we’re good at persuasion, we are better at leadership, sales, holding conversations, public speaking, at anything else that requires influencing others. Influence is more about effective communication than anything else.
- Writing—The ability to translate your thoughts into words makes it easier to do our job. When you write in a clear and simple way, you can express like very few people can.
- Psychology—A basic understanding of why we do what we do can help us to understand ourselves and others. You don’t have to become a therapist. As long as you know the basics of psychology, you’re better at dealing with other people; and yourself.
- Personal Finance—We often don’t think about managing our money. But when we get closer to retirement, we think, “Why didn’t I start earlier.” The time to start managing your personal finance is NOW.
I have a strong belief that acquiring these skills will turn you into a reliable human being. Someone you want to be your spouse, brother, sister, parent, etc. (If you want to hear more thoughts on this, listen to my podcast episode about it)
Let’s do the following thought exercise. Let’s say you own a business and you want to hire a CEO. What kind of person would you hire?
Answer that question for yourself. Write the skills and qualities that person should have. Then, become that person by acquiring those skills.
Don’t forget listening and speaking skills.
Does drooling and muttering and then, suddenly asking a really complex question count?
The single best personal attribute to possess is aggression. The second thing is you need to be goal oriented. Combine those with a range of skills that are valuable, and you greatly enhance your prospects of success. I have had as competition folks with extreme skills who lacked the aggression necessary to compete, or lacked goals. They fared poorly given their depth and breadth of skills, and then wondered why lesser mortals left them in the dust.
Jordan Peterson has indicated that lack of aggression is perhaps the main reason women do not do as well in the workplace as men. That can be parsed further, and some men do not do as well as other men due to lack of aggression.
If you want to be successful, you have to be prepared to trounce your competition. Life is like that.
Aggressive sounds like anger. Do you mean assertive?
Nope, I mean aggressive.
Aggressive: “determined to win or succeed and using forceful action to win or to achieve success”
I want to pursue this. I understand determined, for sure. Forceful though? In order to achieve, you are going to need some cooperation from others. Even if it’s to simply get someone to purchase from you. How do you force someone to purchase from you, become a cartel?
LLPOH has been listening to Jordan Peterson, as have I.
What he is speaking of is very low Trait Agreeableness–one of the big 5 personality traits. It is very clear that this trait is common among the highest achievers is the business world. I too struggle a bit at exactly how this works, as I am a very agreeable by nature, but the data is clear. It definitely has something to do with iteration across time. An agreeable person thinks the best strategy is to get along with everyone and this produces some nice results, but is NOT a successful business strategy. A disagreeable person pushes boundaries until they either give way or repel him…if they repel him, he simply finds another boundary to push against. Over time, this results in far more wins than losses and ZERO ties. Hell, look at the way Trump negotiates. He pushes everything three steps too far, so that he can ultimately gain at least one and often two. It is brilliant, but not possible for a fundamentally agreeable person to accomplish.
Would you say that is an accurate assessment LLPOH?
Now the SJW idiots will question “Why such the preponderance of CEOs that are male?” and come up with the answer that “Men are evil and the structure is a patriarchy.” Which, of course, is bullshit. The real answer is that while the average men is only slightly more aggressive than the average woman, the MOST aggressive people (top 1% in aggression) are ALWAYS men. Period.
To do a little armchair psychology (and I don’t think you’ll disagree or object, LLPOH) He is also at another extreme in the big 5 personality traits and that is he is extremely conscientious. It is this trait that mostly determines whether the extremely aggressive personalities most likely end up running successful businesses or end up in prison. It is also what allows (allowed) LLPOH to work 100+ hour weeks and maintain productivity across each and every hour. Most of us not only cannot maintain that pace, but it literally becomes counterproductive…ie. most people (those in the meaty part of the conscientiousness distribution), and studies on this are clear, will after a few months of working even 60+ hour weeks they will become LESS productive than they are working 35 hour weeks, and that’s total productivity NOT hourly.
Now, as you’ve probably heard, most of our personality traits are either genetic or developed in the first 2 years of our lives. Now, again, a leftist will say that means that they are not our “fault.” Fine. True…but useless. They are our RESPONSIBILITY. It is the responsibility of the highly aggressive to hone and consciously practice being agreeable. If you pay attention, LLPOH does this admirably…typically after his default position of kicking anyone with an opposing view as hard in the balls as he possibly can. Again, don’t think I am either going to shock or insult you with that, LLPOH.
It is my responsibility, on the other hand, to consciously practice being more assertive/aggressive. It’s uncomfortable for me, but who the hell cares. The point of all of this is that to become better, you must first assess what you are lacking and make conscious effort to bring those things into balance with what you do well.
The funny thing is I would have mocked all this shit I’m spewing and not very long ago. My personality traits drive em away from psychology in virtually every way. However, I AM persuaded by logical arguments and Peterson certainly makes those. I have since been entirely convinced that the Psyche and not the Intellect lies at the foundation of civilization. It’s simple and obvious really…before you can use the intellect to create things of value, you must decide that you want to create things of value…the psychology comes first. It is then, therefore, vital to understand at least the basics of the field and evaluate oneself upon that understanding.
Many of us have been listening to/reading JP. As far as agreeableness/disagreeableness are concerned there’s aggressiveness, then sociopathology, then psychopathology.
Right….and the personality traits are similar. The end destination determined by the choices made. One of the most interesting and alarming things JP ever said was about Hitler. We all assume that Hitler wanted to take over the world, but it seems clear that is not the case…he wanted to take revenge upon it. In this case, Hitler got the best possible outcome from his point of view…he got to end his suffering via suicide with all of Europe in flames. Revenge on the whole fucking world for the catastrophe of his being born into it.
The most powerful men in the world will always be the ones that are extremely aggressive, extremely conscientious, with very high IQs and that are extremely (un)lucky. This will always happen. How to deal with it? Try to make a culture in which a resilient psyche and high personal character is cherished above all, no matter what and individuals personality may be.
DRUD,
That was an excellent explanation. One that I agree with also. The answer LLPOH gave was wanting.
Thanks for taking the time to write all of that. Really good stuff.
The answer LLPOH gave was not wanting, dickhead. Your comprehension was wanting.
?
Your answer to a serious question was curt, uninformative and lame.
Not only that, but even when I asked a follow up question, you let DRUD do the heavy lifting for your sorry ass.
If you take a moment and squeeze your big head through the learning door, you can learn something from DRUD.
Drud – nice comment. I agree with what you say. I do not entirely agree with the productivity loss associated with long hours. Depends on the job. Senior managers can remain productive at very high hours. They are decision makers, not doers. That is a key difference.
I do not tend to hold grudges, and I almost always let the other person or organization up after getting what I want, and try to build fences. Steamroll is my default position when challenged. But I try not to get in a position to be challenged. I try to seek assistance, and guide the situation where I want it to go. If that fails, the steamroller tends to come into play.
I lose very few battles in business with this technique.
Leverage = aggression? Aggression = leverage?
Just curious. Let your bravado shine on.
Getting cooperation is an acquired skill. Aggression is a personality trait that can be learned to a certain degree. One does not preclude the other.
I force people to my will, for instance, via a range of techniques. Usually, asking for their help does the trick. If not, I ramp up the pressure steadily. And in the end, I might simply make a command. Depends who they are and the rlationship. I sometimes am very hard indeed with customers. Suppiers are not powerless in many instances. Sometimes I have brought large businesses to a standstill if they have not done what I have wanted done.
Do not assume that aggression means that you do not get cooperation. Vince alombardi was notoriously aggresive. But he got very good cooperation from his players.
If you have the upper hand. A monopoly, for sure, has the upper hand. That’s why I mentioned it.
WIP, you’re messing this up. Llpoh is trying to give you some advice from up high, and you’re trying to change it into what for you is a more palatable form. It’s not semantics, it’s a different way of approaching what you got to do. Humans naturally form of pecking order no different than chickens do. Or wolfpack, whatever analogy you prefer. The skills to move people in the direction you want used to be admired and respected, and that’s how things get done. And it almost doesn’t matter how you do it. Way too much emphasis on feelings these days, as opposed to results. And by the way, that’s a real weird piece of nonsense thrown in the middle of DRUD’s comment about 35 hours of being more productive than 60. Somebody made that up. Productivity is all about immersion.
Let me add something else. Fuck this whole talent stacking thing. The big talent is solving problems. If you’re the guy who can solve problems, you are the MVP. End of subject
This one belongs to DRUD not llpoh. I have no idea what feelings have to do with anything. Unless you’re simply stirring up shit.
DRUD did an excellent job of laying it out.
DRUD,
Thanks again for your time.
Hi Star – nice post. Not worth commenting to WIP. Did notknow it was him, or might not have bothered. He asked an initial question, where he obviously foes not know the difference in definition between assertive and aggressive, and when I provided the definition, he wants to argue the toss further.
The issue, as you clearly point out, is to get results. Assertive is not results driven, but aggressive is.
The techniques used to get results are based on skills aquired and experience and intelligence. Aggressive is a personal characteristic that drives an individual to use those skills to achieve. It is a critical trait. Wip cannot get it through his pointy little head that being aggressive does not mean one does not have a range of skill sets.
I have at times gone years without issuing a direct order. I have become very skilled at explaining a situation, asking for help overcoming the situation, and then guiding the resolution to the answer I had already formulated. The others involved think it is their idea, that they are intricately involved, are motivated.
This turned into a very good thread.
Star-
“productivity is all about immersion.” For you perhaps. People are all different. I was speaking in broad, statistical terms. Those in the “meaty part of the conscientiousness distribution.” The majority here are way over average in conscientiousness.
Here is one article on the subject… couldn’t find the original article I was citing.
https://hbr.org/2015/08/the-research-is-clear-long-hours-backfire-for-people-and-for-companies
Again, this is statistics, not anecdotes. I know, I know, I know…you work endlessly, with total immersion and absolute tirelessness. Blah Blah Blah.
Me, shit, I can’t even speak to where I might fall. My Dad has an old-time, born-on-the-edge-of-the-wilderness-in-the-middle-of-the-Great-Depression-type work ethic. Some of that certainly rubbed off one me, but man I have some very bad work habits that were self-afflicted during my school years. In my partial defense, I had a some poor feedback working. From the seventh grade through graduating college with and engineering degree, EVERY SINGLE SEMESTER I told myself that this was when I was going to get my ass in gear and really take things seriously…then… a couple of weeks in, I was back in my old slacker ways…and…it didn’t fucking matter. I’d get an A or a B and my parents and teachers would be thrilled and I just kept drifting along wondering when it was all gonna come crashing down…and it never really did…not in school anyway. I never really got past those bad habits. I can still tool around at 30% or so (with always some mad bursts) and everyone is thrilled. In any case, I can’t work long hours, but to your point, I can conceptualize and thereby solve complex technical problems like a motherfucker and can make a SolidWorks seat sing. Of late, I have been working on actually getting out of bed when I wake up 5:30 or so, working out and spending an hour learning something new and hopefully useful. Teach myself some new skills, perhaps. More CAD packages would be good, project management skills and the ultimate would be embedded firmware. Just need to get the habit really formed (I’m hit and miss now) and I should be able to get somewhere.
One other thing I was thinking about the personality traits. Another way to think about them is that they are not ironclad rules at all. One can overcome them, sometimes and with varying degrees of success, through force of will…it just costs energy. For instance, I’m typically introverted, but by turns I can be quite garrulous, but doing so drains me and I need to recharge. An extrovert GAINS energy from being around other people socially. Same with agreeableness. I can stand up for myself and be aggressive too, but it makes my heart race and I am drained afterwards. A guy like LLPOH on the other hand ( I’m guessing here, but I think its right) can have a quarrel and turn around and want another straight away…it actually energizes a truly aggressive personality. The other point is all the traits across all there distribution curves have value…otherwise they would no longer exist. This psychology shit is fascinating and I never had any idea that it might be so.
Come on DRUD. There’s not a single statistic in that article. Just some dumb shit written by a lazy chick who probably wants to leave at 3:00. If you’re going to have your people work 35 hours you might as well not even show up. Because me and my guys are going to eat your lunch. France we are not. Business is about competition. Look at what Llpoh says about aggression. Can you think of anything less aggressive than a 35-hour work week? Because you’re not competing with anybody if you are only working 35 hours a week.
Perhaps you and your guys would theoretically (and it is only theoretically) “eat my lunch” in a single game, perhaps even in a single series of them. Perhaps, me and my theoretical “guys” may win a broader and deeper series of games in the long run.
You do not need to be a monopoly to have great influence over customers. If you are the best supplier, supplying the highest quality, on time, as promised, at a price that is fair that reflects those benefits, you as a supplier are highly valued. Customers do not want to lose such suppliers.
That said, customers, especially large multinationals, routinely push the boundaries – they want to pay late, extend payment terms, increase warranty periods, reduce lead-times, make the supplier responsible for all engineering and tooling yet retain ownership of the intellectual capital, etc ad infinitum.
A top notch supplier can tell them to go fuck themselves. Which I do, gently at first when they push too hard, then quite forcefully if gently does not work.
Monopoly has nothing to do with it.
What you do not know about business is astonishing. They idea that inly monopolies can tell a customer to get fucked is ridiculous. Customers are rational. They will not toss or lose their best supplier just because that supplier will not let them pay 30 days past the due date. That is insane, and they will not do it. To do so would give their competitors the advantage. A company wants good suppliers, not bad ones.
The customer/ supplier relationship is a contract. I agree to supply under gven terms. If the customer tries to alter the terms they need my agreement. As you may suspect, I tend not to be agreeable. I am however very fair. I do what I say, when I say I will do it, at the quality I promise to do it at, subject to my terms of sale. They cannot change those terms at their unilateral whim.
You have just explained what a win-win situation for all is. Congratulations. Only an idiot would willingly enter into a win-lose situation. Long term, successful business relationships require win-win.
You, me, Star and DRUD actually agree. I was simply asking a question and looking for a simple conversation. DRUD did a much better job of explaining it and you acted just as you always do.
My biggest problem is using force and aggression as, what sounds to me you are using as the same thing. If I am wrong, let me know. You cannot force anyone to do shit unless you have the upper hand or they are somehow mentally unable to challenge you.
Anyway, this article and subsequent conversation has been quite beneficial to me in that it confirms the way I have chosen to live my life for the past 10 or so years.
Drud did a good job for sure. Me, I expect people to think and find out things for themselves. It often infuriates my employees who want to be spoon fed. However, they come back to me years later and thank me, as their careers benefitted from what I did. My way teaches them skills. Just giving an answer does not teach skills. Teach a man to fish and all that.
Here’s you chance to show your stuff.
LLPOH,
————————————–
I am currently in the middle of a deal with a manufacturer. Yes, this is a real life situation. The owner is in a difficult spot. He has two different leases. One lease is month to month. The other will be up in about 1 years time. He needs to save money because of reduced business. He has a very good plan to increase business but, again he needs money. I have offered to pay for all his moving expenses from the month to month lease and combine all heavy machinery to the other space (currently on 1 year lease). He will save a significant amount of money which he will use to pay me back with interest. It will take him about 1 year to do that. We (the manufacturer) did some planning today and we decided it would be in our best interest to get the landlord to offer a new lease on the current leased space BEFORE we move out of the month to month. Why? Because we believe the landlord will be much more likely to raise the lease amount on the leased space since he will lose $$ on the month to month lease once we have moved out.
WWLLPOHD? (What Would LLPOH DO)
I understand the situation. Yes, that may be a good idea. But for more reasons than you indicate. If the business is forced out of the facility currently leased, it will be very costly, might be done at short notice, could disrupt production, might even jeopardise the viability of the entire business.
A one year lease offers little forward security.
I would be suggesting to the property owner that you need an extended lease for those reasons. But I might wait to do it until after you have exited the short term property. Depends on the local availability of space.
Depending on how long it might take to secure new premises, it might be better to wait to deliver your demands for an extended lease. The owner will not want to seek a new tenant. You have more leverage than you might think, depending on demand for availability of space in the area. If there is high demand, you have little leverage, but if there is plenty of space available, or if it takes time to secure tenants, you are in a good spot. . Plus, having moved out of one place might scare the owner and have him think that you may leave entirely.
But in general an owner does not want to find new tenants. A bird in hand is better than two in the bush.
Much depends on local market. If there is high demand for space, you may be screwed.
Do not let the lease expire without a contingency in place.
I believe I covered all of what you mentioned except looking into demand for commercial/industrial rental space.
We believe we have a better chance to save the desired $$ by securing a longer term (5 year) lease on the 1 year space BEFORE we move out since he does not know what our next move will be. This will enable him (the manufacturer) to work on his 5 year plan which includes leveraging a personal relationship (believe it or not) with a Forbes 400 inductee to purchase used equipment that will open up the ability to compete on a national level (he’s go high hopes, he’s got high hopes, he’s got high apple pie in the…). Better to live life with BIG donkey ball dreams than small dreams.
Good luck to him. The big issue is what is the demand for space. The rest turns on that. Some things you may not be able to predict – owner wants to sell up and it is easier without a lease in place, etc. Nothing you can do in some situations.
Good luck.
True. I will bring that up to my potential client/partner. Btw, the current landlord bought less than 5 years ago.
Add-on to the manufacturer example: I’m not sure if you caught it but, we will be combining the two spaces. We will move out of the month to month and move into the CURRENT 1 year lease which is right next door with connecting walls.
Yep, saw that. Again might be a reason to wait. If it takes a long time to lease the empty ine, you will know you have leverage. If it leases immediately, then that tells you something too.
Ok, what should I look into to figure out industrial space demand?
Should be a commercial realtor in the area you can contact, indicating to them you may be wanting to rent or buy or invest in commercial mfg space. Ask about available properties. Ask about how many are for sale. Ask about current rental rate of returns. Ask how long property remain empty waiting for tenants. Check online rental portals. Should be able to determine how long property has been on the market.
Just have to do a bit of digging. You should be able to find some stats available for how values and rents have moved in recent years. Drive around industrial areas and see if many vacant or for lease properties.
You may wish to consider the potential benefit of additional leverage over the lessor. In order to obtain same I suggest that you investigate the possibilities of a 5 (or more)-year lease at other locations in the vicinity. Another option would be to consider the purchase of appropriate space.
Here’s you chance to show your stuff.
LLPOH,
Situation #1
A Chiropractor approached me (Yes, a real life situation) looking for help to unload his practice. He is ready to retire, especially since he just had his first heart attack (mild). He owns the building and he is willing to give away the practice. Yeah, I know, he is going to make up for it through rent.
My question is, how should I structure my compensation? Of course, I would like to be paid as a % of the rent he will collect over X number of years but would accept a % of 1 years revenue. What %, in this situation, would be common?
What Would LLPOH Do?
I gather you are serving as a broker of the business and will seek another chiro to take over the premises?
The issue is the guy could just close the doors, if he is giving the biz away, and go to a rental agent to lease out the premises. They will do it for very little.
The only way I see for it to be a good deal for him is if you can actually sell his business, ie his client base, as part of the deal. If that is the case then:
it sounds like you are acting more or less as a business broker, so that would be a starting point for the fee. So maybe call a business broker, say you have a business you want to sell, worth x$, and ask about their fee structure for selling it for you. Then use that as a point of negotiation for your fee.
The Chiro is a salt of the earth type guy. He cares about his clients and does not want to leave them in the lurch.
That is all fine and upstanding. But again, your fee is based on whether you are a business broker or just a rental agent. Big difference in how you are compensated.
I only mentioned he was salt of the earth to explain why he wants to hand the business over vs. shutting down and either selling the building (bad idea imo) or renting it to a different biz. To protect his building, why not simply keep the successful biz, that is already there and has been there for decades, running? It makes sense, as you said in the manufacturer example…bird in the hand and all.
Selling a biz is a specialist area. If he is wanting to do that, I recommend a specialist broker, no offence to you or your skills. A lot of legal issues and risk involved. If he just wants to rent the premises and close down his biz, and let another chiro take over the premises under new name and corporate structure, that is a different thing.
Not sure what I’m missing. He wants to simply find a Chiropractor that would like their own practice. One that comes with a built in clientele and sign a lease. Bingo Bango. He had found one already but it did not pan out. There is no selling the biz. The rental will cover whatever he wants as a total. Clients can stay or go with the new Chiro. Lots of Chiro practices have several partners. And some come and go.
Aggression paired with intelligence, yes.
Haven’t even read this one yet, but will, when time allows.
Admin, I like the articles and guidance / advice this guy Darius puts out.
By my count, this is the 3rd one in the last 10 days that you have posted, that offer good tips.
He is a good find, and makes for a good, positive addition to TBP content variety. Kudos.
IMO, it’s good to get a dose of positive once in a while, in the face of abundant negatives swirling around us.
i.e., a short break from the doom and gloom most of the monkeys are painfully aware of.
A lot of the successful old timers round here recognize some familiarity with the suggestions by Darius, which make for good things to pass on to the next gen of readers and hopefully, leaders.
I wonder if, or how effective, stuff like this is considered, and received by the young adults in potentially reaches.
Printouts or links to these Foroux articles on the platform are good to pass along to those of them in our circles.
Edit:
Llpoh, for some, correct definitions are always appreciated as further clarification.
Always read what your take is on things. Even old dogs can learn and gain from other big dogs’ experience.
Hope you stick around, and never get disgusted with the barrage of ignorant comments that sprinkle herein.
Thanks lgr!
This is the best career advice I have seen.
It’s exactly what is wrong with the Millennials – they are ‘one dimensional’.
The problem with Millennials is that they are – for the most part – children.
They behave like children. They have childish expectations. They have the emotional complexity of a child. It is very isolating as someone who had a more old school upbringing.
My wife calls them my “hard edges.”
Tend to agree but to a certain extent only. The ones that are spawn of my family & friends mostly are doing ok, and are contributing.
It’s the dipshit SJW protestor types, who think they’re smart, don’t know shit, and are the most vocal.