FRIDAY FAIL

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whoops card funny - 7859832320

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The caller said she saw Allen grabbing handfuls of make-up without looking at the color or labels. She didn’t appear to be checking prices, either, the report states.

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58 Comments
hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
December 14, 2018 3:20 pm

I got to tell you I laughed my ass off on this weeks Fails. That’s one of the best collections ever.

Step it up nkit.

Blah
Blah
  hardscrabble farmer
December 14, 2018 5:43 pm

I think we can safely say Nkit stepped up.

Very good ones Nkit.

nkit
nkit
  Blah
December 14, 2018 5:49 pm

Glad you enjoyed, DB

Blah
Blah
  nkit
December 14, 2018 10:09 pm

How do I post a gif?

nkit
nkit
  Blah
December 14, 2018 10:26 pm

I right click on a gif, then left click “Copy Image Location”. I then go to FF and paste it into the comment box. I use a desktop to post.

Donkey Balls
Donkey Balls
  nkit
December 15, 2018 5:04 pm

What is FF? Friday Fail? So you mean the comment section. I’ll give it a try on my desktop.

nkit
nkit
  Donkey Balls
December 15, 2018 5:44 pm

Post a gif for us Donkey Balls…then I want to see MOAR next week!

ozum
ozum
  hardscrabble farmer
December 15, 2018 1:22 am

hsf; you posted at 3:20. nkit’s first gif was at 4:02. How is it possible you saw them before they were posted ?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  ozum
December 15, 2018 5:32 pm

I’m gonna help you out, Ozzie, just because. I could be wrong, but I believe HSF was speaking of the failure pics in the body of the post, before the Gif Master did his magic in the comments thread that came after. You did good noticing time stamps. But, be aware that comment entries can be inserted beneath an old comment that’s at the top of the thread…making it appear the line jumpers were early in the game, when in fact, they took cuts and jumped in near the top of the comment thread, in the form of a Reply or add on to the old one. Get it?
Which is OK, but the time stamps are the clue.
An earlier comment gets pushed lower with each cut into the line by a late comer. The earlier entry often will have already made a point, which the newcomer line jumper is unaware or has blatantly stolen and displayed as if his wit was first to the party.
Hell, you probably won’t even check back to see if the farmer replied to you, with your wondering from 16 hours ago, before I typed you an answer, just because.

Donkey, yes. FF = Friday Fail.

There. I did 2 good deeds tonight.

Lgr
Lgr
December 14, 2018 3:29 pm

Nag, Nag, Nag…

An attorney came home late, after very tough day, planning and arguing to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the Governor went unanswered, and he was feeling worn out, and depressed.

Soon as he walks thru the door at home, his wife started in on him.
“What’s this, getting home so late? Where have you been?
Dinner is cold and I’m not reheating it.”
and on, and on,

Too bummed out to play his usual role in this familiar ritual,
He poured himself a scotch, and headed off for a long hot soak in the tub,
only to be followed by his wife and even more of her sarcastic remarks,
as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, with the door closed, the home’s landline phone rang.
The wife answered, and was told that her husbands client, the convict named
James Wright, had just been granted a stay of execution before the midnight deadline.

The lawyers wife, finally realizing what a shitty day he must have had,
decided to go upstairs and give him the good news, ignorantly believing some poor soul had just been saved from the gallows, by her husband’s effort.

As she opened the door to the bathroom, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and his feet.

“They’re not hanging Wright tonight”, she said.

He whirled around and screamed:
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMAN, DON’T YOU EVER STOP?”

Grog
Grog
December 14, 2018 3:50 pm

Two young Muslim friends, Rahim and Ahmad, decide to leave Pakistan and to emigrate to Ireland. Before they leave they agree to meet after one year to determine who has become the most Irish.

One year passes and, true to their word, the two lads meet in Dublin. Rahim says: I have become very Irish. I have a Roy Keane Celtic football shirt, I support the Irish soccer and rugby teams, I fish, I play hurling for Cork, I drink Guinness and have an Irish red setter! He beams triumphantly at his friend: “How Irish have you become?”

Ahmad sneers at him and snarls: “Fuck off you Paki bastard!”

nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:05 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:06 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:07 pm

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Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
December 15, 2018 4:49 am

Oh, that is so cute.

nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:08 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:08 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:09 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:11 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:11 pm

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Cricket
Cricket
  nkit
December 14, 2018 11:57 pm

My hovercraft is full of eels! 🙂

Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  Cricket
December 15, 2018 4:51 am

Is that Rodney Dangerfield?

nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:12 pm

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AC
AC
December 14, 2018 4:12 pm

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JimmyTorpedo
JimmyTorpedo
  AC
December 14, 2018 7:22 pm

Raccoon parkour fail.

Grizzly Bare
Grizzly Bare
  AC
December 15, 2018 12:06 am

The Maxwell Smart of Raccoons. “Missed it by that much”.

nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:13 pm

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
December 14, 2018 4:24 pm

Double the fun. Soiled shorts and a face plant into the cinder blocks.
+10 bud.

nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:13 pm

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Cricket
Cricket
  nkit
December 14, 2018 11:59 pm

God damn…I thought I was the only one that remembered that episode of Battle of the Planets!

nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:13 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:15 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:17 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:18 pm

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
December 15, 2018 12:01 am

Fan fiction James Bond vs. Taran Killam…good times 🙂

AC
AC
December 14, 2018 4:18 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:22 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:23 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:23 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:27 pm

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Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
December 15, 2018 4:58 am

Good take down. Girls was in shape.

nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:31 pm

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Vixen Vic
Vixen Vic
  nkit
December 15, 2018 4:59 am

When given lemons, make lemonade. When given floods, ski.

nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:32 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:33 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:34 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:35 pm

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EL Coyote (EC)
EL Coyote (EC)
  nkit
December 14, 2018 5:45 pm

Is that T4C?

IluvCO2
IluvCO2
  nkit
December 14, 2018 8:22 pm

That’s Trumps dog grabbing them in the pussy.

nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:37 pm

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nkit
nkit
December 14, 2018 4:40 pm

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hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
  nkit
December 14, 2018 5:07 pm

Mess with the bull…