OSLO, NORWAY—The Norwegian Nobel Committee was reportedly considering President Trump as a recipient of its prestigious Nobel Peace Prize, as the president had submitted his name for consideration to them over 67 times. But after reviewing his credentials, the committee concluded that he had not launched enough drone strikes against foreigners to qualify.
“Yeah, you’ve dabbled in attacks, but what we’re really looking for is someone who’s really committed to a secret drone war,” said a spokesperson for the committee. “Look at previous winners like Barack Obama: now there’s a shining example of someone who achieved world peace not through lame diplomacy but by blowing up foreigners with impunity.”
Obama also criticized Trump’s drone strike count, saying they were “rookie numbers” and he needs to “pump those numbers up.”
“My fellow Americans, it represents a danger to democracy when we have a president who’s either unwilling or unable to bomb as many foreigners as I did,” Obama said, reading off a teleprompter. “During my scandal-free presidency, I was able to drop over 26,000 bombs some years.”
“Those were the days,” he added, going off-script as his eyes glazed over and he recalled the feeling of dark, evil power that coursed through his veins when he ordered drone strikes on foreign nations we were not at war with, innocent civilians, and the occasional American citizen.
The Nobel Prize committee said they would consider Trump again next year, provided he starts a war with Iran.
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A Failing Report Card for Donald Trump
BIG SWAMP CREATURE ARRESTS: 0
BIG SWAMP CREATURE PROSECUTIONS: 0
BIG SWAMP CREATURES IMPRISONED: 0
BIG SWAMP CREATURES EXECUTED: 0
SWAMP LEVEL: CRITICAL
STATE OF THE SWAMP: RISING
WALL ON SOUTHERN BORDER: NO
MASS DEPORTATIONS OF CRIMINAL INVADERS: NO
UNCONSTITUTIONAL WARS ENDED: 0
UNCONSTITUTIONAL DECADES LONG OCCUPATIONS ENDED: 0
WAR CRIMES PROSECUTED: 0
LOCK HER UP: NO
WACO ARRESTS OF THE MURDERERS: NO
LaVoy Finicums’ MURDERERS BROUGHT TO JUSTICE: NO
Randy Weavers wifes’ MURDERERS BROUGHT TO JUSTICE: NO
9/11 DOMESTIC CRIMINALS BROUGHT TO JUSTICE: NO
EDWARD SNOWDEN PATRIOTISM RECOGNIZED: NO
GOVERNMENT SPENDING CUT: NO
GOVERNMENT COSTS CUT: NO
AFFORDABLE MEDICAL AND DRUGS: NO
REAL COST OF LIVING INCREASE FOR SSA/SSI: NO
MISSING $21-$50 TRILLION RECOVERED: NO (see solari.com missing $21 Trillion)
REVOCATION OF PATRIOT ACT: NO
END OF SPYING ON CITIZENS: NO
INCREASING WAR EFFORTS: YES
HIDDEN TAX ON AMERICANS WITH TARIFFS: YES
BIG TAX BREAKS FOR BILLIONAIRES: YES
BIG A$$ TAX BREAK FOR TRUMP: YES
GUN CONTROL: YES
LOSS OF RIGHTS: YES
FALSE HOPE, FAITH, AND TRUST: 100% ALL-TIME-HIGH MORON RATING!
Now, this list is only a partial summary of broken promises. Adding to this, we can include the following:
HOLDING SAUDI ARABIA ACCOUNTABLE FOR TERRORISM AND 9/11: NO
OUTING NEOCON ACTORS FROM GOVERNMENT POSITIONS: NO
IMPROVING RELATIONS WITH RUSSIA: NO
IMPROVE THE SITUATION IN SYRIA: NO
DITCHING NATO: NO
ADDRESSING THE FRAUD AND CRIMINALITY IN THE FINANCIAL SYSTEM: NO
STOPPING THE DRONE KILLINGS OF INNOCENT BYSTANDERS IN OTHER COUNTRIES: NO
This list really could go on and one, but we’ll conclude with the big ambiguous promise of MAKING AMERICAN GREAT AGAIN.
Just imagine if SHE got in…..
Not an excuse. SHE DIDN’T.
MAGA My Ass, you nailed it all perfectly!!!
The lying, Zionist-loving, Charlatan POS has failed the American people beyond anything that the mind can imagine. However, in regards to your assessment of his failure to bring the culprits of 9/11 to justice … ha, well, it wasn’t the Saudi’s that did the deed – it was Drumph’s Zionist Mossad buddies and the Israeli machine, who’s filthy, stinking asses he and his minions have had their noses stuck up to their hilts since before and after he was elected. And, that is why he has never pursued any investigations into the truths of the events and the prosecutions thereof. He is a Jew by blood and a Jewish puppet, and Jewish puppets always do what the Jewish handlers tell them. It’s really simple math.
Fuck you, you demented asshole. Trump is a Christian!!!!
How about you actually follow what the Bible says??!!
It’s safe to assume you won’t be voting for Trump?
Sooooo, who will you vote for in 2020?
A) Joe
B) Pocahontas
C) Bernie or some other Democratic Socialist scumbag
D) A “write-in” (i.e., wasted vote)
E) Fuck voting!!!
You see, unfortunately ….. the other choices are pretty much Beyond Horrible. That’s why Trump will win again in 2020. And why I will vote for him, again.
1. You honestly might have Trump Derangement Syndrome.
2. Many items on your list are ridiculous. EXECUTE people? Really???
3. Many items on your list are trivial. LaVoy Finicums? Really? Randy Weaver? Really?
4. You don’t seem to realize America has a TWO party system …. and that the other party is doing everything in its power to thwart EVERY SINGLE THING that Trump attempts to accomplish (for example, that Wall).
5. You seem to not understand the extraordinary powers of the Military-Industrial Complex / Deep State.
6. It seems that what you want is a Dictator.
You only focus on the negatives. What about the positives?
Are you provoking people to tear each one of these apart with the complete truth? If my hand wasn’t in a cast, requiring me to type with only the middle finger of my left hand, I would be happy to.
Boomer shill.
You cannot prove anything you typed…what a faggot.
He should just wave His Royal Scepter and Make It So.
Ignore all those waffling Supremes and the ConGressCritters of the House of Ill Repute.
Like in battle, the Enemy gets a vote. And no plan survives first contact.
Now that’s funny.
He’s doing his murderous best….come on!
Where the hell were you guys when obama was in office? Trumps cleaning up his mess. Idiots!
I was complaining about the lack of freedom and the criminal government back then too. And during Bush, Clinton, Bush Sr., Reagan, etc. Those who support freedom realize that both MAJOR parties are worthless and aren’t afraid to point it out just because of partisan politics.