Beto Drops Out Of Race To Spend More Time Taking Guns From His Family

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—Presidential candidate Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke has announced he is dropping out of the presidential race so that he can spend more time taking guns away from his family. “I’ve been so focused on grabbing the guns of strangers,” O’Rourke told the press, “that I’ve neglected taking away the guns of those closest to me.”

The news was especially upsetting for the millions of AR-15 owners who had just been waiting for a politician to come and free them of their scary burden. “I guess I’m stuck with these,” said gun owner Rex Wells, standing in front of his arsenal of semi-automatic rifles.

Having dropped out of the race, O’Rourke wasted no time in turning his attention to his family, immediately confiscating his children’s super soakers. He then invited himself on his uncle’s hunting trip, though his uncle seemed very wary of that. O’Rourke also asked his nephew Tommy where he kept his Nerf dart guns; Tommy claimed he lost them all in a “tragic boating accident.”

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16 Comments
Anonymous
Anonymous
November 2, 2019 2:29 pm

Enough attention to Beto bull shit . Did anyone truly believe this leftist socialist (the true NAZI) have any realistic chance of doing any thing other than stirring up a band of useless idiots to follow him to oblivion .
Be assured gun confiscation is on the horizon in America and it will probably be implemented by those we as free Constitutional thinking Americans would never suspect !
FORGET ME NOT

Pequiste
Pequiste
  Anonymous
November 2, 2019 3:00 pm

Beto is a Communist not a National Socialist. Please use the term Trotskyite for O’Rourke to further enhance clarity concerning his position on the political spectrum.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Anonymous
November 2, 2019 4:57 pm

The dems are really pissed off that he actually said what they intend to do, while they tell us it is not in their agenda.

Bob McDoanld
Bob McDoanld
November 2, 2019 3:05 pm

I actually think he should leave his wife and hook up with AOC. They could take over where the Clintons left off.

Steve
Steve
  Bob McDoanld
November 2, 2019 6:47 pm

You obviously haven’t seen her kankles.

SlickWilly
SlickWilly
  Bob McDoanld
November 3, 2019 3:32 am

Is his wife cis-female?

Solutions Are Obvious
Solutions Are Obvious
November 2, 2019 3:12 pm

I want to know what source of money keeps a POS like Beto alive. Does he drive for Uber?

Lets expand that – I want to know where all the politicians get their money from. We need an ‘Audit the pols’ movement to see how many of them we can put into prison using the laws they pass against the populace while typically exempting themselves of squashing investigations.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Solutions Are Obvious
November 2, 2019 4:58 pm

Like LBJ before him, I believe his wife’s family has the money.

Outwithlibs
Outwithlibs
  Solutions Are Obvious
November 3, 2019 7:05 am

I actually believe I read that Soros gave him a chunk of change.

Anonymous
Anonymous
November 2, 2019 5:29 pm

Could not stand Beto. Happy to see him go. Buy Buy Gheto.

Anonymous
Anonymous
November 2, 2019 6:21 pm

So . . . he ‘self deported?’

Steve
Steve
November 2, 2019 6:46 pm

His comedy act will be missed.

phergus
phergus
November 2, 2019 8:07 pm

Freaking awesome…Irish bob can go to hell !. His wealthy inlaws somehow put up with his eccentric arrogant ass. And thankfully America won’t put up with his tainted D卐M☭CRAT crap !!.

WindowDressing
WindowDressing
November 2, 2019 11:10 pm

Butthole has a slight resemblance to the bushes. Clone? Illegitimate child?

Timmy Sevgenty-five
Timmy Sevgenty-five
  WindowDressing
November 2, 2019 11:34 pm

Before I even heard him speak for the first time, I had a gander at that SJW prototypical fish mouth of his and was immediately compelled to stick a finger in each ear and… “la-la-la-la-la-la!!!”

Timmy Seventy-five aka SanDiegoGuy
Timmy Seventy-five aka SanDiegoGuy
November 2, 2019 11:20 pm

Guns don’t kill people, Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke bores them to death. “Told her guns make me feel uncomfortable. She said we should both start seeing other men.”