FRIDAY FAIL

news quote stabbed man - 6345689088

headline Probably bad News winnie the pooh fail nation g rated - 8069286400

sign kfc food fast food - 8437475328

detroit drugs signs - 5910028288

bike crash gifs ouch - 5590317824

escalators gifs Planking - 6356223232

guy stole tea from chipotle over undercooked chicken

news headline funny - 7613893120

party-fails-please-dump-responsibly

its always sunny in philadelphia RUM HAM TV twilight - 5625556992

whoops train g rated fail nation - 8244255744

sports basketball burn fail nation g rated - 8364451328

barack obama comics cartoons whoops - 8334855424

Ad facepalm funny sign QR code - 7935149312

funny-fail-jfk-trigger-crosshair

warning sign dude parts bathroom fail nation - 8358507520

news strip club cars Probably bad News fail nation g rated - 8392258304

news slushie Probably bad News funny - 7842902528

cafeteria gross macaroni and cheese food fail nation g rated - 7112571392

gross no thanks food fail nation - 8362379008

sign Photo photos bathroom - 6643391232

fashion knockoff funny adidas - 7807279872

sports baseball foul ball ouch - 6696666112

FAIL proposal spelling - 8818750464

street view weird scuba - 7984790784

funny bathroom image hoverboard over the toilet

argument Probably bad News sex stabbing - 6213758720

sports whoops Track and Field accident trip - 6824485632

banner fox news jewel musician new teeth - 6307355648

sign open spelling - 7080719616

funny-fail-pic-bike-lock-stand

scooter IDGAF nap - 8340943872

car carpet highway - 6310525952

christmas-service-accidentally-prints-tupac-lyrics-for-hail-mary-instead-of-carol

Uh, completely okay with this. Hail Mary was Tupac’s final single released after his death at the age of 25 years old. See the printing mishap for yourself below:

classic DVD p33n seinfeld - 5591309824

cars crash womenamirite wtf - 5844324352

juxtaposition Probably bad News too soon - 5750624768

funny fail image man arrested with face tattoos that say Fck Cops

fake disabled phony world cup fail nation g rated - 8236856576

bathroom bad day funny - 7649844224

braille sign FAIL blind fail nation g rated Hall of Fame best of week - 6897646848

gender cheese survey - 7004025600

funny-fail-pic-van-basketball-hoop

whoops gross spaghetti spill food fail nation g rated - 6854746368

camera car crash fail nation g rated google maps street view - 6393710592

bros embarrassing gym muscles too much weight working out - 5738252288

funny-fail-pics-cars-parking

newspaper Probably bad News criminally dumb criminals - 8092091392

Cheezburger Image 6452937216

packaging abraham lincoln Popcorn funny - 7582901760

When The Munchies Have You Surrounded

ouch whoops gifs motorcycle crash - 8436632064

security anti-theft cars - 7139168512

See more at the Failblog

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425 Comments
nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 1:54 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:44 pm

Honey, in my defense, I was drunk, you were away, and it’d been so long since I had any action, so . . . I fucked a stick figure. Meet my new son.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 1:54 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:20 pm

So what? I could crash my Rav 4 right through the gate.

ELF
ELF
  nkit
January 24, 2020 5:28 pm

MAD SKILLS !

Mix
Mix
  nkit
January 25, 2020 2:31 pm

30 seconds later, the guy in second thought he won.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 1:56 pm

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ILuvCO2
ILuvCO2
  nkit
January 24, 2020 11:46 pm

I love thunderstorms, that was awesome!

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 1:56 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:00 pm

This is why laundry is women’s work. No man could do it justice.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 1:56 pm

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TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:39 pm

Never turn your back on your opponent, unless you are hauling ass.

Mix
Mix
  nkit
January 25, 2020 2:36 pm

Never wake a sleeping hippo.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 1:57 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 1:58 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:47 pm

That’s oddly titillating.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:52 pm

So what you’re saying is that she swallows?

ELF
ELF
  nkit
January 24, 2020 5:31 pm

LIZ WARREN .

Mrs. P
Mrs. P
  nkit
January 25, 2020 2:01 pm

If Bob wants to do anal, I’m going to need a little motivation.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 1:58 pm

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:05 pm

Low, long jaguar growl of desire…Gggrrrrrrowww.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 1:59 pm

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Fatman from Oz
Fatman from Oz
  nkit
January 25, 2020 2:16 am

The one on the right. Tattooed disaster. What the fuck was she thinking

Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
February 3, 2020 9:47 pm

God Bless America and screw the idiot with the downvote

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 1:59 pm

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Miles Long
Miles Long
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:45 pm

Fat drunk & stupid…

ELF
ELF
  Miles Long
January 24, 2020 5:33 pm

Is no way to go through life son .

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:00 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 2:55 pm

Santa Klutz.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:00 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:52 pm

Saint nick.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:02 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:53 pm

Hurry! Hurry! Gotta pee; gotta pee!

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:02 pm

One for LGR

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
January 24, 2020 2:37 pm

Who loves ya, in a non- fag way?
There’s 3 keepers showing peepers on high beam here.
You knowwwwww what I like.
Chantilly lace and pretty face
A set of hoots upward bound.
A wiggle and a walk,
A giggle and a talk
Love when she turns ’round.
There ain’t nothin in the world like a hottie girl
Make me rhyme so funny
Wish I had me a honey
Make my pants come loose
After givin her a goose. Like a
Oh, Bebe that’s a what I like!

What’s that? Did I what? Did I WHAT???

Thanks, man.
Gotta ta tell ya, tho, that one at the 1:44 time stamp
is a smokin kinda sexy.
Cheers, bud.

Mix
Mix
  nkit
January 25, 2020 2:48 pm

Ann Margaret is still hot.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Mix
December 27, 2020 5:12 pm

Always reminded me of the front bumper my 1956 Buick.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:03 pm

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Mix
Mix
  nkit
January 25, 2020 2:53 pm

1/4″ drive.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Mix
February 3, 2020 9:49 pm

3/8

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:03 pm

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Mix
Mix
  nkit
January 25, 2020 2:52 pm

“Pumpkin Pie”

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:03 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:05 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:05 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:06 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:07 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:08 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:08 pm

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
January 24, 2020 2:39 pm

Schwingggg! before the puss.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:10 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:10 pm

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MTD
MTD
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:09 pm

So many things in that gif I wish I had.

John Medina
John Medina
  MTD
January 24, 2020 5:17 pm

Really? I can only see one thing 🙂

Anonymous
Anonymous
  John Medina
February 3, 2020 9:50 pm

i see 2

oldone
oldone
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:17 pm

The next larger size comes on wheels…

Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:20 pm

Just in case you were thinking of cheating on me . . .

Yancey_Ward
Yancey_Ward
  Bob P
January 24, 2020 6:07 pm

Or hitting on me.

Mrs. P
Mrs. P
  Bob P
January 24, 2020 6:39 pm

Oh Bob, you’re so sweet. I think we will play that anal probe game tonight. I’ll go first.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:11 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:19 pm

“We’ve built a solid impeachment case . . . Ahhhh!” asserted Mr. Schiff.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:11 pm

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MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:56 pm

A thinker.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:12 pm

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Yancey_Ward
Yancey_Ward
  nkit
January 24, 2020 6:08 pm

BobP just made an appointment for new glasses.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Yancey_Ward
January 24, 2020 7:08 pm

That’s just mean!!

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:12 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:13 pm

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
February 3, 2020 9:52 pm

How can a man look at her and say, “no, i would rather suck a dick?”

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:13 pm

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
January 24, 2020 5:03 pm

sexy pose in front of a noni tree. you know how bad those fruits smell?

Anonymous
Anonymous
  Anonymous
January 24, 2020 7:09 pm

What tree?

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:14 pm

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Gloriously Deplorable Paul
Gloriously Deplorable Paul
  nkit
January 25, 2020 12:01 am

WTH?

nkit
nkit
  Gloriously Deplorable Paul
January 25, 2020 12:05 am

Rubber band ball..

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:15 pm

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mark
mark
  nkit
January 24, 2020 2:27 pm

Known in Retail Loss Prevention as the ‘Crotch Walk’. Beware of large women wearing Moo Moos…multiple hams and small TVs have been known to walk out of stores between their legs without a hint or a limp.

S
S
  mark
January 24, 2020 3:27 pm

I got stopped and accused once, but they said my suspicious ‘Elvis walk’ made it look like I was concealing something.

I said: “I am. I’ve got a cheap pair of mountaineer undies climbing up, and just failed to discreetly work them loose, hands free.”

They did a brief visual inspection, and let me go, as there was no bulge worthy of further investigation.

mark
mark
  S
January 24, 2020 5:08 pm

S…I think you had a false arrest law suit settlement if you wanted one…then you could have bought a new pair of blue suede shoes every week for years!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2VUD6VNcMU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQKcTRbR-yU

YANNY YOU CAN’T WATCH THIS!

(I don’t know what’s going on posted two Evils vids but they won’t stay up?)

mark
mark
  mark
January 24, 2020 6:47 pm

(Never mind)

ELF
ELF
  mark
January 25, 2020 12:58 pm

To Mark ,
Ahhh NO ! he said he was accused , not arrested . Different things .
If he had been arrested , yes .
But just being stopped and checked is NOT arrested .
But I agree with the principal idea you are thinking of .
If you stop and check me , you better have damn good evidence for it .
Like, you SAW me take something .
Otherwise I’m gonna raise hell about being “suspected” ,
and I MIGHT just sue you for harassment or discrimination !
And YES , I have done just that . After being stopped and asked
if they could look in my backpack , while women walk around with HUGE purses , WITHOUT being stopped .
I’ve been through this many times . My answer is always
” Are you law enforcement ? Do you have a warrant ?
Otherwise FUCK OFF or call a real cop . But you better be right ,
or I’m gonna sue the shit outta you ”
I don’t like being accused of being a thief , just because of how I look .

mark
mark
  ELF
January 25, 2020 2:28 pm

ELF on a FF Shelf,

Now as usual the ‘Devil is in the details’ and if a lawyer gets involved often the retail company will settle depending on the details. Video and witness testimonies will be the deciding factors.

It will also greatly depend upon the ‘Jurisdiction’ you are in as every State/County will be different. They run the gambit from the business is always guilty of something no matter what – to ‘get a rope’ for shoplifters.

If you ‘STOP the forward motion’ of a shopper you have ‘detained a shopper’, and if you make an ‘accusation’ and they have nothing…you will be in deep shit with your boss (I have fired multiple Store Security people for doing this – if they seriously screwed up), and if a lawyer gets involved from the detained accused shopper, the company insurance people/lawyer will usually settle for a 5K fee at the drop of a hat. It will cost more than that to defend the case and that is all they care about.

Trust me I have been there dozens of time over decades at the corporate level.

So in conclusion I would say it is partly cloudy – partly sunny without the video and statements, but with these words S will be in for a windfall…and some new Blue Suede Shoes!

PS I used 6 rules:

1. See them enter the store without the item(s)
2. See them select the item(s)
3. Never lose eyesight contact with them (this is critical as they dump item(s) if you are spotted)
4. See them make no attempt to pay for the item(s) (refunds can be confusing)
5. See them pass the registers without having paid for the item(s)
6. Know exactly where on their body the item(s) are when you make the stop

I also judged my people by the average $ amount of their shoplifting recoveries not the number of shoplifters – go for the Pro’s that do the real damage, not the kids and old ladys with a low dollar single items…they are like army ants. While you are in the office for two hours with some loon stealing one eyeshadow, three Booster Pros stole 4 grand of stuff just wheeling loaded baskets out the front door.

ELF
ELF
  mark
January 25, 2020 9:50 pm

OK Mark , sounds like you know what you’re talking about ,
and I agree with what you say .
I’m just speaking of where I’m “coming from ” if you get my drift .
I DON’T STEAL , from stores or people !
So I get really pissed when I get hassled by some jerkoff
loss prevention dude because I’m carrying a backpack .
Now I KNOW I didn’t steal anything , therefore I KNOW
he COULDN’T have seen me stuff ANYTHING in my backpack .
Even if he had “eyes on me ” the whole time .
Which I know he DIDN’T , or he would know I didn’t take anything .
Being as it’s private property I would assume they have the right to
stop me . But at that point you better call a real cop , because I will not
be subjected to unlawful search and seizure .
And like I said , you better be right ! Because if said cop finds
nothing , which he won’t , I will raise HELL !
I do not like to be accused of being a thief based on how I look
or the fact that I have a backpack .
Especially when there are women walking around the same store
with purses way bigger than my backpack .
THAT is discriminatory behavior on the part of loss prevention .
Some folks might ask why I don’t leave the backpack in the car . Because I travel everywhere by motorcycle , and I’m not going to leave my stuff on the bike for some bastard to steal .
Yeah , I know , I’m a scruffy looking old biker with a backpack .
But that doesn’t make me a thief !

Looking for ELF
Looking for ELF
  ELF
January 26, 2020 1:38 pm

ELF buddy,

You are 1000000000000% right!

1 in 11 Americans shoplift, and they cut across every class, age, race, type, age, sex, etc. etc.

I had to deal with a cop shoplifting while in uniform once. He was doing it constantly, and the store level staff was scared of him. He looked like the cop in PORKY’s. I was a corporate manager, lived in the store for a few days until he came back, long story – I sliced and diced him after he stole a steak knife (he didn’t leave with it – I made him dump it). I ruined his career through channels…and got him banned from the store.

Once I busted a senior VP from Ma Bell (way back in the day). A super wealthy, highly connected pompous ass, who wore three piece suits, but super slickly shoplifted one small item every time he came in. I got fed up and took him down.

There are also a subset of shrewd grifters who pretend to be lifters to suck in some green, untrained or improperly trained store security Nicky New Guy and go for the 5k settlement. You have to train your people hard about them, but even then it happens. A deep dive background search sometimes shows how many times they have sued retailers for ‘false arrest’ settlements then you can call their bluff – if the bean counters let you.

I came up through a stringent, highly professional program, and when I eventually got my own pyramid in a substantial company I developed a screening-hiring-training-ethics program like no other, and I still had to discipline and terminate (one year 28%) big chunks of my people for going outside the lines. At the entry level some of the best ones can use Retail Loss Prevention as a stepping stone into the police…and some of the worse ones are police rejects.

There are a significant number of armature, piss poor trained, clowns, and cop wanna bes (who were rejected by the police) in Retail Loss Prevention. It all depends on the program and the leadership they are operating under on how professional they are.

Sounds like you ran into someone from the paragraph above.

By the way, I had a scruffy looking biker dude who worked for me in Austin in the 80’s…he was my number one for making quality (high dollar) booster busts! They never ‘made’ him. He went on to be an undercover cop in Vegas.

mark

(EC)
(EC)
  S
January 25, 2020 1:38 pm

They did a brief visual inspection, and let me go, as there was no bulge worthy of further investigation.

Get some Levis 501s. They will give you the bulgey look that invites further inspection. I bought Sams club jeans for too long, they fit but not perfectly, a pair of overalls would be better than shopping club jeans. Just stay out of Sams and Costco and you will improve your life tremendously.

S
S
  (EC)
January 25, 2020 4:01 pm

Dudes, it was a JOKE..
Shamelessly stolen from a comedy skit by Kevin James, in an HBO special called “Sweat the Small Stuff”
Highly recommended. He’s a hilarious comedian, IMHO.

nkit
nkit
  mark
January 24, 2020 5:08 pm

A big ole sheboon was pulling the crotch walk trick with a large ham going through the checkout when it suddenly dropped from between her legs and rolled down the aisle towards the door whereupon she began yelling : “Who threw that ham at me?”

mark
mark
  nkit
January 24, 2020 5:25 pm

Ha!

TC
TC
  nkit
January 24, 2020 5:29 pm

As Ann Coulter would say, our new country is going to be great.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:16 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:17 pm

Getting Hillary ready to join the presidential race.

S
S
  Bob P
January 24, 2020 4:41 pm

Mrs. McConnell nudging Mitch to get back to work.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:16 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:16 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:16 pm

Saskatoon’s ski resort has struggled to attract patrons.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:17 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:18 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:19 pm

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Anonymous
Anonymous
  nkit
January 24, 2020 7:14 pm

A fathers worst nightmare!

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:19 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:20 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:20 pm

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MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:58 pm

8.5 for the dismount alone.

Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 6:12 pm

Harry Potter chooses the wrong column.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:21 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:11 pm

Nice balcony!

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:21 pm

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zelmer
zelmer
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:07 pm

Nice pumpkins!!

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  zelmer
January 24, 2020 3:52 pm

I like the white ones with pink stems.

facecrook00014
facecrook00014
  zelmer
February 2, 2020 5:09 pm

Pumpkin thief, she has two officer.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  zelmer
February 3, 2020 9:54 pm

My first thought, you beat me to it!

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:22 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:22 pm

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Suds
Suds
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:18 pm

Digger caught a whiff of Alice Kramden.

nkit
nkit
  Suds
January 24, 2020 3:23 pm

Moon Rover

grace country pastor
grace country pastor
  nkit
January 24, 2020 6:20 pm

Outstanding!

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:00 pm

I thought they kept Area 51 more secure than that?

Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:09 pm

No one is going to find this stick!

mark
mark
  nkit
January 24, 2020 9:37 pm

I didn’t know the movie set was still around.

ILuvCO2
ILuvCO2
  nkit
January 24, 2020 11:54 pm

That’s just gotta be photoshopped, Stanley is dead and the earf is flat fcs.

nkit
nkit
  ILuvCO2
January 25, 2020 12:11 am

Woof woof…

dave
dave
  nkit
February 3, 2020 9:55 pm

bad dog

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:23 pm

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nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:24 pm

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Bob P
Bob P
  nkit
January 24, 2020 4:08 pm

Sucking your thumb is a bad habit at your age. Here’s something better to suck.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:24 pm

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Igor Stravinsky
Igor Stravinsky
  nkit
January 24, 2020 7:31 pm

You’re right! It is too thin to walk on.

nkit
nkit
January 24, 2020 2:25 pm

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TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  nkit
January 24, 2020 3:54 pm

Bob was never heard from again.