Greta Thunberg Condemns Coronavirus For Causing Apocalypse 10 Years Early

Via The Babylon Bee

STOCKHOLM—Greta Thunberg has come out to condemn the coronavirus outbreak, saying the virus callously ended the world ten years before climate change even had the chance to.

As Thunberg is known for her fiery speeches and doomsday predictions about climate change, she began to worry that the spread of this virus would take the spotlight off her and her brave efforts and instead cause the world to worry about an actual, immediate crisis.

“How dare you cause the apocalypse a decade before it was supposed to happen!” she shouted at a press conference. “I was not consulted on this. I should be in school right now, but I’m not, because the whole world is under lockdown many years before I predicted the end would come.”

“I still exist, remember!?”

At publishing time, Thunberg had been tossed out into the dumpster behind the Democratic headquarters in Washington, D.C., where she found David Hogg and dozens of other kids the Dems had exploited for their political agenda until they outlived their usefulness.

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7 Comments
MrLiberty
MrLiberty
March 17, 2020 7:25 pm

Well, virtually nobody is flying anymore, so that little shit must be sort of happy. Of course still too many people to take a boat or an electric train anywhere either.

4th Turner
4th Turner
  MrLiberty
March 18, 2020 11:41 am

Speaking of places where the “climate is warmer” a key swath of folks are keeping abreast of how the Control:OVID-19 virus is progressing in “Orde Me Progresso” Brazil; since Brazil is currently going from southern hemisphere’s summer to SH’s autumn, if this virus pandemic keeps growing geometrically / exponentially down there during their “warm” period, then we can kiss-goodbye any notion that the pandemic will slow during our summer

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  4th Turner
March 18, 2020 12:54 pm

It still takes getting out in the sunshine and getting lots of vit D production. It isn’t just the magical warm weather. And the more people hide in their homes and avoid the sunshine, the worse the problem will get. But countering that would require health officials to admit that vit D is a GOOD THING….and that would piss off their bigPharma masters.

Anonymous
Anonymous
March 17, 2020 8:44 pm

I wonder how Cesar Sayoc is doing.

nkit
nkit
March 17, 2020 10:45 pm
Anonymous
Anonymous
March 18, 2020 4:02 am

When will the little dweeb get wise and learn to blame Corona on Climate Change? And people think she is smart.

Trapped in Portlandia
Trapped in Portlandia
March 18, 2020 11:25 am

A positive aspect of the virus is that it has pushed Greta and the climate gang off the front pages.