PENNSYLVANIA PLAN TO REOPEN THE STATE

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12 Comments
old white guy
old white guy
May 8, 2020 8:20 am

Open the state and open it now you fascists.

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  old white guy
May 8, 2020 8:50 pm

STOP IT! Nothing fascist about those folks – Trotskyites, Stalinists, or Maoists, please.

Anonymous
Anonymous
May 8, 2020 8:28 am

Good to see Babylon Bee is up this early in the morning.

Steve
Steve
May 8, 2020 8:59 am

No doubt this plan will be utilized in the simplest form possible given the complexity and myriad of possibilities encountered. The public will be informed during each step of this multi-phased operation through the newly created office of Forwarding Understanding Community Knowledge and Your Ownership Utilization. The Offices acronym FUCK YOU is used to better interface with the public interest. We are proud to offer this new department to uphold the highest community standards during this crisis situation. Thank You Sincerely from the Office of FUCK YOU.

Dirtperson Steve
Dirtperson Steve
May 8, 2020 9:04 am

In PA, average age of corona death is 79 and 2 of 3 deaths have been in nursing homes. But our idiot Gov in his quest to be cool like governors in NY, NJ, & MI has closed the state. The media still ignores him.

I’m hearing 2nd hand stories of businesses that will not be reopening. Longtime businesses throwing in the towel and others barely hanging on.

My friend stopped at a repair shop that had just reopened to drop his wife’s sewing machine. He said the lobby was full of machines like he never saw before. The owner said he has been in the same place for 40 years and if they had kept him closed 1 more week he wouldn’t have been able to reopen.

My wife & daughter haven had a haircut in 11 weeks! Their stylist is a recent divorcee that supports herself with the business. They recently prepaid their next appointment trying to keep her going until Governor D-Bag decides the proles are allowed to get their hair done.

We all notice him and his pet tranny haven’t missed a cut.

Mary Christine
Mary Christine
  Dirtperson Steve
May 8, 2020 10:45 am

Find a stylist who will do “speakeasy” work. That’s the only way you will get your hair done living in a prison state. Ours opened up this week. This will last until they gin up the stats to make it look like the virus is upticking.

TN Patriot
TN Patriot
  Dirtperson Steve
May 8, 2020 11:23 am

My wife finally got to see her stylist yesterday and was told she had received a letter from the state warning her of loss of license if found cutting hair during the shutdown. This is how a fascist government enforces their illegal actions.

EC
EC
  Dirtperson Steve
May 9, 2020 1:53 am

Yeah, how did Kylie buy an empty lot for $15M during this lockdown, was she shopping online? These fuckers are having a good laugh at the expense of the proles.

Anonymous
Anonymous
May 9, 2020 11:24 am

Talk about New Speak in PA !
Big Brother is smiling !

Belicoso
Belicoso
May 9, 2020 12:16 pm

and how about the governor’s right hand man/woman/it in charge of the Coronavirus – Secretary of Health Rachel Levine aka, Dick Levine who’s also a professor of Pediatrics and Psychiatry.
you can’t make this crap up

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
May 9, 2020 12:24 pm

And curiously enough, that was an actual document.

hardscrabble farmer
hardscrabble farmer
May 9, 2020 12:29 pm

I finally got tired of waiting and went out and bought a good pairs of shears, a couple of combs, electric clippers and watched a dozen youtube videos. The Colonel was my first customer and he came back yesterday to tell me how much he liked the cut. I’m just glad he can’t see the back of his head.

90% of everything we think is beyond our capacity is actually fairly simple if you just decide to do it.