Black Sabbath Changes Name To Sabbath Of Colour

Via The Babylon Bee

U.K.—Amid controversy over British heavy metal band Black Sabbath’s insensitive and outdated name, band management has announced that the group will now be referred to as Sabbath of Colour.

While the group stopped touring several years ago when it became awkward to play music while being supported by walkers, all previous records will be re-released with the old name scrubbed, and all merchandise will be changed to the new name.

“Ya, you know, it’s really great, really good,” said Ozzy Osbourne. “Pancakes, you know? Wait… the, whatever it is… who are you? Where am I? What? Bloody hippopotamus cheesecakes all over the blimey cheerio mate.”

“What Ozzy’s trying to say,” said Tony Iommi, “is that we’re trying to be sensitive to persons of color while respecting the band’s legacy. Also, we would sort of appreciate it if everyone would re-purchase all the old albums, because, let’s be honest here, people aren’t exactly buying heavy metal these days. All the kids and their Billy Eyelashes and You Toos and all these newfangled groups.”

“This stuff never would have flown in the Dio era; I’m just saying,” muttered Geezer Butler while playing a Red Hot Chili Peppers riff on his bass. “All these people are so paranoid.”

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6 Comments
Articles of Confederation
Articles of Confederation
June 14, 2020 9:29 am

Love it!

jacklord66
jacklord66
June 14, 2020 11:51 am

Shhh. Don’t give them any ideas.

ICE-9
ICE-9
June 14, 2020 5:41 pm

Best Black Sabbath album ever was a 1994 tribute album called Nativity in Black consisting entirely of cover songs. Check it out – great versions of Children of the Grave and Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  ICE-9
June 15, 2020 8:22 am

Will listen to it, Black Sabbath was an interesting band and a favorite . Check out this early 70s live concert in Paris, notice how the fans just sit there. Also opens with Ozy sweeping the floor. But these guys were very tight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jdAe2Qrsq0

e.d. ott
e.d. ott
June 14, 2020 7:03 pm

LMAO
Sabbath fans within the Bee? Say it ain’t so. It’s a band that was great in its own way with both Oz and Dio.
When “Paranoid” comes on the radio I can still sing all the words from memory. Dio’s rendition of Aerosmith’s ’70’s hit “Dream On” will remind you there are some people who CAN sing it better.
Give up the rights, Steven!
Just an old metalhead’s opinion, though.

ILuvCO2
ILuvCO2
June 14, 2020 8:58 pm

What? They are wearing masks?