Biden Selects Aunt Jemima As Running Mate

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a press conference today, Joe Biden was proud to announce that he’d selected his running mate for the 2020 election: Aunt Jemima.

“She’s a clean, articulate woman of color, she’s a self-made businesswoman, and she’s a great listener,” Biden said as he unveiled his pick for vice president. “We were looking at two criteria for my VP: her race and her gender, and Jemima nailed both qualifications.”

“Plus, she smells fantastic. Welcome to Team Joe, toots!” He then put his hands on the neck of the bottle and caressed it, giving the bottle of maple syrup a good sniff.

Horrified aides caught the press conference on TV and rushed to the location, tackling Joe to the ground and putting him back in the basement. “You’ll know your VP pick when you need to know, Joe.”

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16 Comments
Iska Waran
Iska Waran
July 29, 2020 5:23 pm

He’s gonna pick a white woman. If he picks a black woman, it’ll feed into Trump’s assertion that Biden will be just a marionette for the far left. Some white lady from MN, WI, MI or PA. Klobuchar, Tammy Baldwin, maybe even Frau Whitmer from Michigan to reassure the moderates.

theOtherDan
theOtherDan
  Iska Waran
July 29, 2020 10:29 pm

In your dreams…. unless it’s Warren and as we all know…. she’s not really white! Was that a snicker?

John
John
  Iska Waran
July 29, 2020 11:29 pm

He’ll pick a tranny so that everyone will be confused as to what they are getting.

musket
musket
July 29, 2020 5:29 pm

The entire range and depth of their VP candidates is horrible…….classless clowns one and all. Bu then again across the entire range and depth of politicians and political candidates we have few men and women of ethics and integrity as the better angels of this nation do not want to put up with the hassles and power is not important to them.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
July 29, 2020 7:52 pm

While Aunt Jemima might bring back pleasant, comforting feelings of a pancake or waffle-filled breakfast with “syrup” (quotes for HSF) on a cold winter’s morning, this bitch sure as hell won’t do anything close. She is the shit of the worst kind of nightmares.

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rhs jr
rhs jr
  MrLiberty
July 29, 2020 9:47 pm

Aunt Ester

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  rhs jr
July 30, 2020 2:42 pm

No need to insult Wanda Page like that:
comment image

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  MrLiberty
July 30, 2020 3:07 am

God, I hope he picks her. Even Biden’s not senile enough to pick an unmarried, childless, porcine, insane, thinks-she’s-the-governor state legislator to be one 25th amendment away from the presidency.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
  Iska Waran
July 30, 2020 2:43 pm

JOE isn’t doing the picking. Those that picked Joe are doing the picking.

~L
~L
July 29, 2020 9:00 pm

Courtesy of Eaton Rapids Joe, via The Feral Irishman…

All Biden gaffes, with commentary at the end.

http://eatonrapidsjoe.blogspot.com/2020/07/presented-without-comment.html

Anonymous
Anonymous
July 29, 2020 9:22 pm

Told you a few weeks ago that kamala with her legs in the air on the bottle would be the new aunt jemima.

lamont cranston
lamont cranston
July 29, 2020 9:50 pm

If it’s all about Syrup, I nominate Hardscrabble. Both of us, my two daughters & families love Marc’s magical concoction.

rhs jr
rhs jr
July 29, 2020 9:55 pm

Aunt Jemima was a wholesome Colored Woman selling her food brand from 1900 to 2019; what the Hell happened in 2020?

~L
~L
July 29, 2020 9:59 pm

“We can’t rebuild this economy, and meet this crimate clisis”

-Babblin’ Joe

Auntie Kriest
Auntie Kriest
  ~L
July 29, 2020 10:09 pm

Joe is about as sharp as a jet-puffed marshmallow.

None Ya Biz
None Ya Biz
August 1, 2020 3:26 pm

They have decided on large mouth bass. A known communist activist from the 60s. Why she is still allowed in the united States is beyond comprehension.