Now there’s a lot of things wrong with society today (I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned men not wearing hats before), but one of the biggest problems is kids. They are terrible. And I’m not just talking about the music they listen to (which is kind of over-produced and soulless). They are running wild and have no respect for anyone. That’s why when they grow older and get mad, they just riot like it’s nothing, breaking everything and setting everything on fire.
How’d this happen? I will tell you how. Back some time ago, someone started an anti-spanking movement. “Oh, you can’t spank kids. It will hurt their widdle kid feewings,” said some so-called “experts” — probably Communist plants trying to destroy us from the inside. So what do you do when the kid talks back? Just gently pat him on the head and try to reason with his dumb kid brain and explain why you don’t like that? That don’t work; the only thing kids understand is a red backside. And without that, kids got no fear of authority. As soon as they’re older, they’re going to just start looting Targets. Oh, the Commies are laughing at us now.
“Spare the rod, spoil the downtown Portland” — that’s what they say. We got a bunch of people with untouched buttocks running around and destroying everything. So what do we do? Well, you start on the next generation and don’t make the same mistakes. Any kid steps out of line, you give them a firm whack. I don’t care if it’s your kid or not; this is a civil service to every drugstore that doesn’t want to get burned down. And they say people are becoming adults later and later, which means we can extend the spanking window. I propose bringing corporal punishment to college campuses. It would do those Marxist idiots some good to get a few whacks from a paddle.
And as for those too old for spanking and already running around rioting, I guess you can try hitting them with those, like, police batons. A few whacks to the head can’t hurt. I mean, it will hurt them, but I don’t like them.
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I thought Babylon Bee was satire. Or is this “Not the Bee?”
Recently we have Adam “lil homicide” Toledo – age 13, and Ma’Khia Bryant – age 16, both deceased.
Both shot by police. Understandably so, since they were certainly not acting in “appropriate” ways.
Lil Homicide was, after being away from home for two days, out at 3 am in Chicago, involved in a shooting. Ma’Khia was at or near home, trying to stab at least two people with a steak knife. Again, both were shot by police.
A common refrain squealed in protest is “But they was just a child!!”
Bullshit. Admiral David Farragut had his first command, responsible to captain a captured ship back to harbour, at the age of twelve. Alexander the Great founded his first colony at the age of 16. Joan of Arc led the French army to victory over the English between the ages of 13 and 18. Very few people can actually match these accomplishments, though they can fake it (I’m looking at you, Greta!)
The old fart with the hat is right. If there was a dad to beat their asses, they’d be both alive, and productive today. They are dead right now, not because of trigger-happy cops, but because all of society has always squealed “But they is just a child!”
Nobody ever gave a crap about them enough to set them straight and now they are dead.
Sad fact is that BLM and Antifa are filled with people like Toledo and Bryant, and the deep state is using them as tools to forward their evil agendas. Seems nobody gives a crap about them either. Least not any DA. Those people will not get set straight, and will be put down like the wild animals they are becoming when their usefulness runs out.
Sucks to be them.
And…sucks to be us.
uummm hey bug… Ur gonna have to tone down that rationale some because ur just making to much sense right now. /s
This is satire?
I’m making double that with the same program. You’re doing it all wrong.
This is hilarious on a couple levels.
A two-year-old does not understand exactly why they should not stick a fork into a light socket or why you should not play in the street and no amount of “redirecting” is helpful but a swat in the back of the legs stings enough to get their attention. There’s a difference between “spanking” and “beating” a child; the Left never learned that difference. We need fewer “time outs” and more “time’s up”.
Stop spanking your children! Here, give them some expensive mind altering pharmaceuticals instead…
haven’t you noticed ? Someone with a lot of money is paying ex-con Antifa ‘rioters’ to perform—and buy mansions. Find the source of the funds.
In 1953, Wall Street fitted CIA Kermit Roosevelt with two suitcases of cash to start riots [coup] in Iran so Wall Street oil moguls could seize the nationalized BP oil fields. Is somebody pushing a NWO in the US ??? Talk with John Perkins.
Advocating spanking is racist.
It’s racist to say the monkeys should be spanked?