I’ve read books cover-to-cover in one sitting. They are always some work of fiction; a good historical novel or who-done-it mystery being most likely. But, I’ve never read a “religious” book in one sitting, until yesterday. If you asked me yesterday morning my favorite religious books regarding pain and suffering, I would have responded with CS Lewis’ book, “The Problem Of Pain“, or Gordon Livingston’s book, “Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart“. This morning it is W. Lee Warren’s book, “I’ve Seen The End Of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know“. Why? Because Lewis is an intellectual treatise at the 30,000 foot level … and Warren’s book is coming to grips with pain and suffering in the trenches. And his insights just blew me away.
By way of introduction, following is a copy and paste of his one page prologue.
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Prologue: LIFE GETS MESSY
The most difficult and dangerous surgery I’ve ever performed, I wasn’t trained for. I had to do something no surgeon would ever do in the operating room. I had to learn on the job.
In the story that follows, you will learn that the title of this book refers to a kind of brain tumor — glioblastoma multiforme — that is almost 100 percent fatal. My experience with this tumor made me ask questions about how I could honestly pray for my patients or give them news with any credibility or integrity when I already knew they would die. This moral dilemma put me in touch with my spiritual mentor, Phillip Yancey, who encouraged me to write about it.
I did, but I wrote a different book.
I thought when I wrote my story of being a combat surgeon at Balad Air Base in Iraq, operating on soldiers, civilians, and terrorists alike while coming to terms with the end of one life and the beginning of another, that was the story. But often the things we think we know are just that — things we only think we know.
I have been a person of faith all my life. But I learned early on, in the trenches of a crumbling first marriage and the bunkers of the Iraq War, that dogmatic belief is not life sustaining. Only grace is worth believing in. Then with my patients and in my own story, I thought I saw grace disappear under the onslaught of brutal reality, a reality that could never be changed and that time would never heal.
I used to look at my patients brain scans, see the glioblastoma I knew would ravage their minds and destroy their lives in the coming months, and say to myself, I’ve seen the end of you. But in the aftermath of war, divorce, rebuilding, and then unimaginable loss in my personal life, I realized I was standing at the deathbed of my shattered faith.
I’d seen the end of me too.
So, I faced the greatest surgical challenge of my life; stitching together fatal cancers, dying children, and Christian cliches to heal the faith I’d lost and hoped to resurrect in some unforeseen new form.
What happens when our messy lives mess with what we think we believe?
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Following are just a few of my favorite excerpts from the book; the author’s words are in black, my comments are in blue.
“Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s famous five stages of grief were outlined to explain how people cope with the news that they are dying. The stages were not defined within the context of how people handle great loss in their lives, although they are commonly used in that way. God forbid you ever have to face such a time, but if you do, do not look for sense or order in the process, because none shall be found.”
Perhaps this book speaks volumes to me because I am afraid that I soon may “have to face such a time”.
First, I wake up with a sense of dread every single morning; will I find that my mom died in her sleep? She’s 90 years old and certainty not in the best of health, in constant pain, and throughout the day repeats her favorite mantra “Dear God, why won’t you let me die?“. So, every morning I awaken with the fear that her own desire to go to The Great Beyond will be a self-fulfilling prophecy or, that God will finally answer her prayer. This book, like no other book I’ve read, is preparing me for that inevitable outcome.
Second, I wonder how much longer I have left in this world. In 16 months I’ll be 70 years old. (When did that happen??) I see the daily obituaries, and the loads of people dying in their 60s, 50s, and even younger. I am currently experiencing health problems (which shall remain private) that are causing me concern. I’ve been a smoker my entire life. I actually go to bed these days wondering if I’ll wake up in the morning … is it the smoking that’s causing my problem? … when will The Reality Shoe drop —> “you dumb bastard, did you think your decades of smoking will come without consequences??!“
My silent prayer as I fall asleep is “Please God, don’t let me die before mom! If you want to take my the day after mom dies, that’s OK with me. “. My parents promised each other that they would NOT allow themselves to die in a nursing home. We made that wish possible with dad, who died peacefully at home. Mom wants nothing whatsoever to do with nursing homes anymore, she wants to die at home, her home. And if I croak first, that won’t be possible. So, please Dear God, just grant me this one prayer ….
—–
“When someone is hurting or brokenhearted, the Eternal moves in close and revives him…” —– Psalm 34:18
The author references quite a few Bible verses. Concerning the one above, he writes;
“I found Psalm 34 incredibly comforting … I could read those words, and even on the days when intellectually I wanted to shake my fist and declare my hatred for a God who would let my son die, in my spirit I knew the verse was true.”
—– –
“My job then …. was clear: people need brain surgery. Not the literal kind I perform in the operating room but a kind of self-performed brain surgery to help us prepare our minds to handle the harsh realities of life and be able to find joy in the process. Life is hard, but we need to be able to survive it with our faith intact, find peace, and experience happiness anyway. To do that, we have to change our thinking about pain and suffering.”
I am currently reading a book on meditation. One of things I learned is that the purpose of meditation is NOT to control our minds … that’s quite impossible … but to control how we REACT to the millions of thoughts that constantly stream into our brains. I realized last evening that I truly do need brain surgery; that how I think about pain and suffering (i.e.; God is evil) is what is keeping me from ever seeing that lie, and from ever realizing that The Eternal wants to come close and revive me. What a tragic way to live, or die.
—– –
“Hope is faith waiting for tomorrow.”
One of the best definitions of “hope” ever! He does a great job explaining what he means but, you’ll have to buy the book. 🙂
—– –
I close these excerpts with this ominous warning from the author …
“If your life has been relatively pain-free up to this point, you are very blessed, and this book may seem somewhat abstract to you. But make no mistake: trouble is coming. The question is; what happens then?”
Indeed!! Whatchya gonna do when trouble enters your life? The way I see it, in terms of The Eternal One your choices are; ignoring, cursing, or blessing. This book is helping me see the Wisdom of the last option.
—– –
MY CLOSING THOUGHTS
This book will make you cry. I even had tears reading the acknowledgments. Not kidding. But, don’t let that scare you. This is a book about joy, about victory, about loving life, and God, even when things turn to pure shit. This book has opened my eyes regarding my own doubts, and anger, and even hatred at God …. and I think I may have found a way out of The Swamp. But, I’ll have to read it at least one more time, slowly, and see what happens.
This final paragraph is to our Christian readers here, with specific mention to Eyes Wide Shut, Anon I, Wilbur Ross, and Grace Country Pastor (especially, you). I have been a complete Jackass over the years. I have mocked far to often the posting of Bible verses. I have played the role of TBP Censor … you can post this, but not that … just don’t piss off The Great Stucky!
I can not tell you how terribly sorry I am, how deeply I regret what I have done. I dishonored you, as well as TBP. You may not believe me, you may think I’m playing some Jedi mind game … and I would not blame you one bit. I’m not asking for you guys to suddenly like me, give me thumbs up, or tell me what a swell guy I am. I don’t care if you do any of those things. What I am asking of you, no begging … is please forgive me for the wrongs I committed against you. My bullshit criticisms end today. (My potty mouth? Well, don’t expect miracles!). And if you do forgive me …
THANK YOU!!!!!!
THE END
Glad to hear the prodigal son has come home. Welcome home brother.
21 But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— 22 the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: 23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25 whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. 26 It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.
Romans 3: 21-26
o
Internet whore…be gone
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dr d V performs an exorcism.
Thx Doc.
Welcome back!
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ive-seen-the-end-of-you-w-lee-warren-md/1131169459
I came across an old gift card from barnes and noble… maybe I’ll order it. My neurosurgeon was a decent human being in spite of being a neurosurgeon. He operated on me five times, so we were close for a time. I was his prize patient… I could still walk, talk and drive myself to appointments.
It looks like a good and helpful book.
Stucky, many of us here on the platform have had that moment when the light came on; we could see and we did not like what we saw, but we had the courage to change. As Doc put it, the prodigal son moment. Mine occurred the day of my Mother’s funeral. There was a new path forward. I started walking and hope to continue down that path until I see her again.
My wakeup callcame at the age of 32 in the early a.m. after a long night of whiskey drinking and a roaring hangover with two screaming children.
I never want to raise my children like this God.
“…I’ll have to read it at least one more time, slowly, and see what happens”…after your closing paragraph i’m thinking hell might be headed for a cold spell.
🙂
Hell could use a good LOSS these days.
The Household of Faith can have Stucky!!!
Your most inspiring writing in 10 years of reading your prose (and sometimes not-so-prose), Stucky. I am praying for you.
Will read that book next, thanks for the recommendation.
I am currently reading “The five people you meet in heaven” by Mitch Albom. So far, it’s pretty good (at the halfway point), but I don’t know yet how it will end. You might like it, Stucky.
There is a great movie (The Five People You Meet in Heaven) by the same name… Chip
Before reading this I was and still am, listening to Mozart’s Requiem. Odd little bit of synchronicity, no?
Today I had a conversation with the lady who delivers my mail, a lovely soul named Joy. I asked how she was, she’s of our generation, and she said that she was fine, however, her eighteen year old grandson has testicular cancer, has had surgery but the cancer has metastasized. Eighteen and his life is over, he never had a chance to live it and now it’s going away. Why? What did that boy do to deserve such a fate?
I’ve wrestled with may questions of that nature over the years…mine own Golgotha. Christ fulfilled the prophesies, what am I doing? I’m not sure but at least I’m here…for now.
Today is really all we have, I have no idea how many days on this earth lie ahead of me. My father is 94, doing well for someone of his age, I help him out, he’s still capable of taking care of himself up to a point and for that I am grateful.
You, my friend, are reaching a spiritual transformation, a Dark Night of the Soul which leads to an awakening that could never have happened without that darkness coming first.
And the second night, or purification, pertains to those who are already proficient,
occurring at the time when God desires to bring them to the state of union with God.
And this latter night is a more obscure and dark and terrible purgation, as we shall
say afterwards.2
You are growing in ways you will understand in hindsight…
May that peace that surpasses all understanding be with you.
http://carmelitemonks.org/Vocation/DarkNight-StJohnoftheCross.pdf
” Christ fulfilled the prophesies,….”
Not yet…the plenary fulfillment is still to come.
annuit coeptis novus ordo seclorum <—-=====
Read the book, saw the made-for-TV movie. Enjoyed both of them greatly, thank you.
It’s okay to not be perfect Stucky, none of us are. And it’s okay to die, we all do. A FAR better place awaits us.
Amen… Chip
Absolutely, as the millions who have had near death experiences or witnessed scenes from other lives can testify…The soul is immortal.
Have you noticed that your preceptions have changed over the last 2 years?
We once were a self that is no more.
We died. And our new dominant thoughts will vanish as well.
I would be curious what the Covidians are experiencing? Are they a skipping record of NPR?
If you loose faith, because bad things happen to you in this world, you probably never had any faith. You probably had a false faith, and you should be happy, that you lost that false faith, so you could gain true faith. The bible states very clearly that this world belongs to the devil. The only reason for its existence is to find those, who will not bow down to satan no matter what. Those who will not accept the mark. The ones that will not be corrupted, bribed, deceived, intimidated. That is all that there is to it.
https://www.ichthys.com/Satanic-Rebellion-Home-Page.htm
Philippians 3:13-14 KJB… “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”
Hi Stucky, nice to finally meet you… 😊 There are tremendously beautiful realizations to come. The first is how to read the Bible; knowing what parts are written for your instruction versus for your learning. Please watch.
Grace and peace…
To be honest, reading your exchanges with Stucky, I was quite certain this was coming.
I just didn’t think it was coming so soon.
Lots of brothers and sisters will be shaking free of the chains in the coming days. And that makes what’s coming bearable. The darkest days in the history of mankind are washing onto our shores right now. Even non-believers can feel it.
Keep shaking the trees, Pastor. We never know what good fruit will fall out for everyone to see!!!
“To be honest, reading your exchanges with Stucky, I was quite certain this was coming.”
Honestly, I wasn’t…! Then again, we’re instructed to try. That’s all I did. All glory goes to God, as it’s not my words that matter, but His. That’s why I post ‘em!
I’m glad you’re here!
Greetings, GCP….
I’m glad he’s here too. I look for Red River’s comments, and wish this interweb wasn’t so sporadic, as I would love to be able to engage….(wishin in one hand….)
fwiw: the words of Paul have taken some abuse, for sure. Your consistency is admirable !
“Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine”
annuit coeptis novus ordo seclorum <—-=====
Taking flak just means you’re over the target.
Well said.
Nothing is impossible with God. Nothing…….
Nothing is impossible, except coming into existence…
I’m eternally grateful for you Stucky.
Today is certainly a blessed day.
You have a multitude of gifts to offer God and Man.
I pray you have a fervent heart for the lost continually grieving and crying out to God on behalf of their souls.
Just think of how boring it will be around here if Stucky starts being NICE to everybody!!!
It take CAJONES to stand before the eyes of men and peel off the armor like that.
(Ladies: when I say ‘men’ I mean mankind. I like old fashioned traditional-speak.)
In order to bend the inner man so that life in this world comports with what the Scriptures teach us about God, it requires pain. So the ‘brain surgery’ comparison is apt. I think of blacksmithing: hammering the stubborn man into form so that the personal worldview comports with a biblically valid understanding of God.
Suffering is a key to much of it. Those who turn their backs to God, or worse, who set themselves in battle array against Him, will be crushed beneath the weight of their suffering and will ultimately succumb to it. They will be destroyed by it.
Those who turn to face God in order to look for Him and to learn from Him, will be reformed by their suffering… will be strengthened and refined by it. Will ultimately be made perfect by it.
What it comes down to is a simple truth: suffering is possibly the best thing that can happen to a man in this world. That good gold from the land of Havilah can be had no other way but through the refining fire of suffering. This is the gold we are urged and encouraged to buy from our King.
GOD IS GOOD.
Romans 5:3-6 KJB… @And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.”
So, I’m curious. It’s none of my business, and you don’t have to answer, but how did this personally much needed and life changing book find it’s way into your hands? Did someone recommend it? Were you searching for answers? Or was it blind luck? Or some sort of divine intervention? Or just one of those synchronicities the universe is so fond of?
I simply went to B&N to get away for a while. I always check out the Christian aisle to see what new titles are available … especially to see if Phillip Yancey has a new book.
So, it was either blind luck …. or, Divine intervention. I’ll leave that up to you
🤔
—–
Very limited internet access this evening. Will respond more tomorrow.
Meanwhile, thanks to ALL for your encouraging comments!
I tend to check out little free libraries when I find them along roadsides. Some of the best books have found their way into my hands that way. I believe it is not coincidence.
Phillip does have a new book. “Where the light fell’ its his memoir. Warning – you may cry again.
Einstein himself stated … ‘There is no such things as coincidences.’
Been reading here a long time, sadly, mostly a lurker. I’ve always enjoyed your “style” once I figured it out. What waits is unimaginable man, saw it once 25 years ago in a dream. You’ll see…
I lurvs you like a brother Stucky.
Does this include Flea? He’s dying Stucky….make peace.
Fleabaggs, I am truly sorry for taking out so much of my hate on you. You have been a better man than me. Please forgive me.
Sincerely.
That touched us all Stucky, I hope Flea is able to see this. Maybe the Good Lord has saved your heart to help others here during the most trying times of mankind. Your knowledge of the Good Book can comfort many souls. I have a little bit of a lump in my throat right now.
Stucky, I hope you can make it to the farm next July. I would like to shake your hand/give you a hug.
Stucky my reply to you got erased. Fritz sent me a text about your post. I back doored this one.
Sounds like you had a near death experience which I know way more about than I would like to. For two days afterward all I could do was talk about what a lout I was and how merciful Christ was to not snuff me out for insolence. Or maybe a road to Damascus moment.
Don’t give it another thought. Caring for your mom who cared for you is the most Christian thing you can be doing right now but it’s good that you let God move your conscience and write the best article you ever posted.
I may go in a minute or they claim I could possible muddle through for 5 or six months. As long as I’m sitting I’m fine but can’t walk far. It’s actually quite good, I get to talk to God a lot, sort of like we were friends. He answers in his own ways but never in a way I could manage to boast about thank God. I sleep a lot. Lifes too good to worry about dying and dying ain’t much of a living. I get to spend a lot of time studying ancient scripture and extra biblical stuff.
It’s proof of Christs power that enough of scripture was left for us to find Christ because the bible translators sure botched a lot of stuff.
I pray you will outlive your dear mom and help a lot of souls get a little closer to Christ each day and found what we’ve found. God bless you.
P.S. Hi BL.
Flea- Glad to see you, I think of you often and pray for you.
Thanks. Life is good when we want it to be. Last month had 3 trips to er and spent 14 days there over a three week period. They said they can’t help me so put me on end of life hospice. No more Emt trips to er thank goodness. They just try to make you comfy as possible on the way to the next life. Not afraid of dying it’s the IV’s and blood draws and hospital food. They have two secret rooms next to the kitchen. One room removes all the nutrients and the other room removes all the flavor. The doctor at the hospital let me know I was a danger to the good patients because I’m unvaxxed and unclean. As they wheeled me to my romm they sent a crier ahead announcing unclean unclean.
I don’t envy anyone who will be here for the worst of what’s ahead but I don’t gloat about leaving either. I’ll miss a chance of being Martyred.
The way the govt. is waving weapons around and screaming at anyone who defies us like a drunk chimp with an AK, I won’t be surprised if they get together and shut down our entire grid to hasten our collapse. They would like to have the land when it’s over but maybe the say the heck with it and just nuke us.
I know you’re as ready as is practical for whatever happens so I’m just talking to the choir.
Don’t know why but I think of ole BB often.
Secret societies maybe?
Flea – all the best to you. We had a few moments, but I always, and I mean always, remember you fondly.
Flea- I’m not fearing the future, if they take me out, they take me out. But you can rest assured I won’t volunteer, no clot shots for me. This mess is just so uncalled for.
Please know that we are thinking of you and pray that you are well cared for, you are not alone. Stay in touch if you can.
The girls from hospice are here often and I’m in touch with Mary almost every day. Her and Hubby were going to drive up to help. I manage to get to my truck twice a week and check on my buddy who is dying from getting both jabs. Every week he gets worse. It’s nice to be able to at least attempt to help somebody less fortunate.
People can always email me at [email protected]
I asked my mother to ask her doctor about hospice. I told her bluntly that, in her condition and situation, it was reasonable to assume she will pass within six months and I told her to prove me wrong and fire them after she recovers.
I am glad you are still mobile, able to visit with people. My mother is pretty much in hospital prison mode, from what I gather. One approved visitor, masked, gowned and gloved. It is pure evil.
Anyway, I’m glad I’m 100+ miles away and am not the “one” visitor. I would not be good at playing the game.
Hi Maggy, it’s nice to see you posting. I should have stipulated I am in “in home end of life hospice”. It’s isn’t nearly as intrusive. I have a beeper direct to a nurse who is never more than 10 minutes away. No way I can still patrol your south 40 at night though unless you have wild currant bushes to plug my concentrator into.
Maybe your mom can be transferred to that but she would have to be self sufficient to some degree. They will do some cooking and housework and there is always meals on wheels.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and I hope you and Nick get through this alright. If I can make one claim in life it’s that nobody ever told about Nam like I did in “My War”. Lot’s of people did Rambo articles or Anti-Military rants but nobody did what I did. I’ve found that the younger generations here really take to it and pass it around. I never realized how many kids had uncles or grandfathers who were killed or messed up over there who really relate to the story. Well I’ve been on long enough. I had to back door this so I’ll leave before I’m found out. Bye Maggs.
EC will be lurking around in the afterlife, you know.
Thanks. For everything.
I should be wishing you all the best. They seem to be using OZ as a test kitchen. Make them kill you before they can vax you.
May not know you here Fleabaggs, but certainly will once past deaths door of which we all pass thru. Funny how hardship seems to allow one to focus on whats really the more important things in this life, the eternal things.
Like a lamp on a stand, Christ shines thru all darkness no matter how thick.
I dont now you Flea, or Stucky, but I wish I did. Maybe another time in another life. Thanks for sharing your posts, insights, thoughts. Always food for thought. Go well.
Bless you Flea!
Flea,
First, glad you saw my post. Second I wasn’t sure what your response would be. You certainly were under no obligation to respond as kindly and graciously as you did … for there are few here I treated as disrespectfully. There aren’t enough thank you’s in this world to give you.
If you would like that book … it’s NOT just for people who have doubts about God’s goodness, all believers would love it … anyway, just send me your mailing address to [email protected], and I will gladly send you my copy (B&N only had 1 copy).
I love you brother, and will pray for you daily.
Blessings to you, Flea. Give my sincere regards to Mary; I remember her grandson often… my friend’s son is almost exactly the same age with similar life issues.
Thank you for sharing your unique perspective with us over the years.
Stucky. This is as simple and heartfelt a statement of repentance I’ve ever had the good fortune to come across.
Ya touched a lot of hearts, dude. Certainly mine.
In reaction to your heartfelt comments, I called my own mother, now in a nursing home “for the duration” and suggested she talk to her doctor about hospice. We had really excellent experiences with hospice during Nick’s father’s passing and other interactions with elderly in veterans homes and other late-life situations.
A few years ago I got hit by a tsunami of deaths and they never stopped coming. Apparently… the more people you know and the longer you live the more people you’ll bury. I’ve come away with a few observations about death because of being surrounded by so much of it 1.) People have a lot more control over their own deaths than they realize. I’ve seen too many people give up on life mentally and soon afterward get a incurable disease or suddenly die in an accident. 2.) The only thing worse than dying is never contemplating your own death. 3.) Life is full of suffering until one day you realize you can control the duration and intensity of your own suffering. Most of human suffering is either wallowing in the past or being anxious about the future. Very little suffering actually happens in the present moment or outside of the human mind.
Stucky, here are a few resources you might find interesting:
Good video, Steph… I’ll check out the links later. Losing people unexpectedly sucks, but losing them slowly, bit by bit, sucks too.
I’m not sure which is worse.
My worse losses are people who are still alive who’ve I’ve cut off because they weren’t adding any value to my life or family members I’ve disowned because they never changed their toxic patterns.
I’m a chemist but I’ve been interested in spiritual part of life. The best of what I learned are questions. Such as: Do you remember when your consciousness started? Are you sure it’s going end?
Are we consciousness driving a body or are our bodies all we are? Were victims previously victimizers?
Also Spinoza- a human mind cannot understand a Supreme Being.
In quantum mechanics the two slit experiment with one photon at a time proves that everything is connected to everything!
“Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth?”
That one always puts me in my place.
Suffering is a gift you never asked for, but its value is inestimable.
Ask Job.
“Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth?”
Flat earth…? IDK, from the same chapter:
“Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades, or loose the bands of Orion?
Canst thou bring forth Mazzaroth in his season? or canst thou guide Arcturus with his sons?”
annuit coeptis novus ordo seclorum <—–=== return ole' Saturn's reign
If suffering is somethi3ng like a blessing, to be welcomed, how do you explain that to the 18 year old with metastatic cancer mentioned in a comment here, or the family friend of ours who became a quadriplegic in his 50s from a bike accident, or the Mother I read about who lost her husband and 5 young children in her burning crashed car. What good comes of that? Is it a test of faith and strength? Is it a punishment? Is it supposed to be a nudge and a wink with a sledgehammer to change your life, reassess your priorities and do better?
I have been lucky to have been spared such catastrophes in my life so far and I do not think I would welcome them if they occured. I could endure them and muddle through, I hope.
Opening quote from Chapter 11 of the book;
“As the two thousand year old saying goes, you can have eyes and still not see. But a hard life improves the vision.”
—— Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, “Cancer Ward”
One of the most amazing chapters in the Bible! Can you imagine being grilled by God…??? I think my head would explode.
God created us, no need to grill us, if He knows all, sees all and can see into our hearts and minds. Grilling would seem to be redundant.
May the grace of God find you and release you further,and may God grant you your wish to outlive your mother.
Please accept my offer to read this short book.
THEOSIS
THE TRUE PURPOSE
OF HUMAN LIFE
By Archimandrite George, Abbot of the Holy Monastery of St. Gregorios, Mount Athos
This is an important little book that so clearly and beautifully states the purpose of our lives. For those of you who are searching for the Orthodox Christian response to “What is the meaning of life?”, this is the answer.
Please note that the English edition was completely re-translated in 2006. —Patrick Barnes
http://orthodoxinfo.com/general/theosis.aspx
straight to pdf book
http://orthodoxinfo.com/general/theosis-english.pdf
I had a similar experience and i too used to mock Christians and xtians before i found the Truth.
“Theosis is personal communion with God “face to face.” To the Western mind, this idea may seem incomprehensible …”
I’m going to be honest with you …. personal communion with God “face to face” … truly does seem incomprehensible to me, especially when considering the above Spinoza quote —>”a human mind cannot understand a Supreme Being.”
I will also tell you this; I just paid five bucks to print out the 80+ page book … and I’m looking forward with great interest, anticipation, and an open mind to what the author has to say.
Greatly appreciate the recommendation.
On my reading list now, thanks.
That is interesting, already from the perspective that most top-end doctors become cynical, or end up in “hanging on in quiet desperation” mode.
Congrats to your awakening!
Now look to quit smoking before you get close to full-blown COPD.
when it’s your turn, those that went before you that loved you the best will be standing at the doorway waving “over here, over here”, saying look who’s here, and wait till you see this! Your animals will be there to greet you, and no more pain, suffering, grief, regret, rage or sorrow. Be sure before you go to have a signal agreed upon to send back to those left behind, they will be comforted knowing you do still exist, just on a different plane. It’s not the death I fear, just the dying process, loss of control, lying in pissy sheets waiting for lakweesha to come and steal my jewelry and forget to change my diaper. I have my exit strategy already in place. So many of us won’t talk about death as if it won’t happen if we just ignore it, or if we hoard enough unopened pairs of tube socks mr. death won’t stop by..
Wonderful, when you finally learn that the pain and suffering of this life(both yours and others) are not a curse but just life. To find joy, even when facing pain and ultimate death is Gods real secret. We are not here for ourselves only, we are here to love each other, damn hard to do sometimes but worth the effort.
Grace has been waiting for you, Stucky. I am happy you are trying to receive it now. You were forgiven before you asked.
Also, you may me cry, dang it! 🙂
As the years pass by the certainty of the uncertainty of death becomes more apparent. Young and innocent are how we begin, the dreams of children slowly give way to the realities of competitive disappointments. Living a sheltered life as many Americans have does diminish their sense of reality. Rural living is not a fantasy of never never land, livestock and wildlife are reality, they are harvested so we may nourish. So many do not understand the circle of life, it never ends. Life is all we have, we never asked for our existence, it is a gift. God of Grace and God of Glory, Grant us Wisdom, Grant us Courage. AMEN
As the Russians say, “You’re born in a field; you die in a forest”. The shadows creep in as you get older. But the light is still there.
Dearest Stucky, you’re my kind of people. I know you’ve been through a lot. I can appreciate what you are going through with your mother. We moved my mom here from Indiana (to South Texas). Went in half with her to buy a condo and guaranteed $750 per month payment “all inclusive”. She’s 84 and still driving but it won’t be long that she can’t. She’s just 8 miles away so we can get to her quickly. No other support though. My wife Tammy and I are it. My two younger and stupider sisters, one in Indiana, the other in North Carolina, couldn’t give two shits about mom.
Anyway I digress. This isn’t a story about me it’s about you. I think that this may be one of the best posts you’ve ever submitted. It goes to the heart. And that’s the kind of person that you are. We’re Christians. I was never offended by any of your posts although I’m sure some of the direct attacks on those you mention might have hurt those they were directed against. Everyone of us are struggling in one way or another. Sharing those struggles and understanding there are similar minded people who might get inspiration, or just a brief look into your human soul, is why we all come here. The comments are oft times better than the posts. Even though we amateurs need the inspiration of the great authors on TBP to lure us into action. Thanks for sharing a part of your soul Stucky….
God Bless us All, Every One… Chip
Then Jonah prayed to the Lord his God from the belly of the fish, saying,
“I called out to the Lord, out of my distress, and he answered me;
out of the belly of Sheol I cried, and you heard my voice.
For you cast me into the deep, into the heart of the seas, and the flood surrounded me;
All your waves and your billows passed over me.
Then I said, ‘I am driven away from your sight;
yet I shall look again upon your holy temple.’
The waters closed in over me to take my life; the deep surrounded me;
weeds were wrapped about my head at the roots of the mountains.
I went down to the land whose bars closed on me forever;
yet you brought me up out of the pit, O Lord my God.
When my life was fainting away, I remembered the Lord,
And my prayer came to you, into your holy temple.
Those who pay regards to vain idols forsake their hope of steadfast love.
But I with the voice of thanksgiving will sacrifice to you;
what I have vowed I will pay.
Salvation belongs to the Lord!”
And the Lord spoke to the fish, and it vomited Jonah out upon the dry land.
Stucky this is my favorite passage as metaphor for the crisis period of suffering that God in his mercy allows in the lives of his sons and daughters. Until our confidence in vain idols (especially the idol of Self) breaks, we cannot begin the journey to becoming what he means us to be.
Your post made me cry good tears. Thank you.
Appreciate ‘what is” even if what you had is lost, or even when you fear loss. At the death of loved one, or even at the prospect of the death of a loved one, is a good time to feel appreciation for what you had. Breathe in, breathe out.
Thanks. Well said and Cheers.
Thank you Stucky. Forgiveness abounds, and I hope you would find forgiveness for someone like me who’s called you names recently. God bless you and your mom and thanks for the good example you give by caring for her and helping her fulfill her wish to live at home. B Cauler
Of course I forgive you, and with Great Enthusiasm.
“It was like a great weight was lifted off my chest” … is something often said by people who have had an awakening of the soul … the only good kind of “woke”.
What a relief it is to not anticipate (before even logging in) how I’m going to ream GCP’s ass (r, whomever) if he dare post Rapture stuff, or a verse. What a relief it is to not wonder in the evening how I’m going to continue a shitfest from the previous day. I’m not kidding about prepping during off-hours for the next day’s battles. Anger and hating, my friend, …. IT’S HARD AND WEARISOME WORK!!
Let’s see if this new Woke Stucky has staying power. Some people say a leopard can’t change its spots. But, if it does hold, then I’m going to surrender that King Shitflinger crown. I’m not all that thrilled with it anymore. (Doesn’t mean I won’t stir the pot from time to time, though).
God’s word tells us He will never leave or forsake His children but it’s a daily moment by moment effort by us to commune with and walk in His spirit vs.the spirit of the world.
Some days are better than others.
We’re pullin’ for you. Remember, marathon, not sprint. BC.
I think we did this once before, but I could be wrong. I’ve been wrong before.
Hi Stucky, what an experience you’ve had. On finding that book – my vote goes to divine intervention. We’d probably be amazed if we knew how often that happens. I wish you peace and joy. Was actually just thinking yesterday about joy, the joy of the Lord is my strength.
Hi Helen … have you found a way to get your ivermectin yet? If not, you have my address ….
Stuck(y), your writings provide all your friends here immense insight into your being. You challenge, you entertain, you annoy, you teach. I will wager that a lot of your fans never doubted what is underneath that hard shell of yours.
Thanks for being you and keep up the good work!
I’m lucky that most of my brain maladies have been associated with both anterograde and retrograde amnesia, and I don’t remember most of the screaming with pain and terror that others told me about. I wouldn’t wish it on anyo….
Well I would, but you know.
I think I know what you mean. Some things are just impossible to describe, but just as horrible all the same.
Aaahhhh!! Ya almost got me with this one ! (just kidding)
GRACE….
Seems to me, Stucky, that you only think you’ve had the corner on vulgarity, but it’s a very crowded corner, indeed. I’ve enjoyed hearing some of my thoughts of rebellion in your words over the short time I’ve been around. (Maggie was the first to befriend me at this site).
As for me, my desire is to not frustrate the grace of Jesus Christ, the I AM that I AM! We both know the tongue is an unruly evil that no man can tame…..
“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me”
annuit coeptis novus ordo seclorum <—-==== Apollyon is coming!
P.S. –don't let one of those magic sky lizards (kosmokrators) lie to you about 'another Jesus'
Best definition of grace I’ve heard: Unmerited Favor (of God)
We can’t earn it, Christ paid for it and He just gives it to us.
Also, people seem to forget Christ was a ‘straight shooter’ and wasn’t afraid to ruffle feathers. We have this illusion in our heads of ‘milk toast’ believers…and it is an illusion. Two of Christ’s disciples were known as, “The sons of thunder.” Sounds like a couple of Harley riders to me 🙂 Peter carried a sword, as did others, and cut off a Roman soldiers ear…sound like a guy who was afraid to speak his mind? All, I’m saying is don’t buy into the myth of what it is to be a believer…let God show you.
God’s
Riches
At
Christ’s
Expense
Mercy is God not giving you what He should, and grace is God giving you what He shouldn’t.
That was a few years back, eh?
My own mother is now in the hospital (one of those “pli” illnesses at Poplar Bluff Regional.)
Peace surpassing all understanding.
My mother and I built a bridge and just got over it.
Amen.
If one lives long enough coming to “grips” with dying is inevitable. Acceptance of the cycle of life is necessary and a belief in God/Jesus is a help for many. I have lost many friends and other than my own kids and grandkids, the rest of my family.
Today might be my last day alive. Even understanding that and being aware and prepared for death, it is an observation that the organism that is my physical body will rebel at the thought of shutting down. When facing possible death, as in maybe right now, there was a level of anxiety that the body created and could not be ignored.
When the time comes my only hope is that it is peaceful.
Indeed!! Whatchya gonna do when trouble enters your life?
I’ve had trouble enough with MDs who via greed, incompetence or both, left me tremendously worse than when I asked for medical help, and have witnessed one purported surgical cure after another result in horribly extended suffering always leading to death anyway so much that I’ve come to absolutely despise doctors.
Then several months back I had an episode that required emergency medical attention and could lead to death , but because of all the nefarious business going on at hospitals, involving forced vaccination and deprivation of human contact, including family, I decided not to go. Death is preferable to having grimy pension whores dictating one’s last days.
So in answer to the question , whatchya gonna do when it comes? I am going to accept my fate with dignity and suffer at home in the sanctity of my home, sans any money grubbing MD, with loved ones. A pox on the medical industry of butchers, thieves and murderers. I’ll never give them another penny.
I don’t believe you ever lost faith Stuck. Consciously denying God while subconsciously fearing your creator can wreck havoc on your nerves and severely inflame the enemy of us all, pride. It’s OK to not understand God’s plan. No mortal can. Even Jesus said he didn’t know it all.
All we need to know about God is in this one verse from Psalms. “Be still, and know that I am God!
flash, what’s the status on that? Are you “out of the woods”, or does the emergency still exist??
No idea. The worse of it passed and I eventually made an appointment to see an MD, and when I arrived at the office, besides insisting I wear a mask , which I did, there was staff standing at the door demanding that I call the office before I go in, even though the doors were glass and I could literally wave at the receptionist from the entrance. Totally disgusted at how ludicrous it all was, I left. I’ll not be subjected to anymore stupid medical quackery in my life. I’m done. I’m going to live as long as the Lord allows and that’s the all I expect or want.
Not that I expect to check out anytime time soon, but here’s to hoping I make it into heaven 2 hours before the devil knows I’m dead.
Too good not to share.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground
“https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBkwU-Cec2k&list=PL9wMdVdowjKk2ywNFFhfLLTN_InsMOvZU&index=7”
Thanks anon. I been listening to Dylan all my life and this one is new to me.
I’ll Never Get out of This World Alive
Waitin´ Around to Die
This one brings Townes’ old ranch hand to tears.
Does anyone else feel like an interloper? A stranger walking in on a family conversation. Regardless, I love you all (although I do have favorites) anyway.
It’s ok, david; you have to start somewhere!
David: Yes, all the time. It used to depress me a lot. Everyone else seemed to “fit in”! Now, I realise that being an interloper, the guy on the outside looking in, is actually sanity. It’s how it’s supposed to be.
I had to think about this for awhile before having anything to say. Not sure I should say anything. It might make me think too much. Getting through bad things takes a special mindset, a kind of focus that men use like blinders, so they can focus on the objective and not be distracted by the hell and damnation that’s rushing down on them. Some call it self-discipline. It appears to be selfish, but it’s actually a tool that allows one to do the impossible in the face of incredibly bad odds.
We had a little saying in a group I was in once. When we knew something ugly was coming, someone in the back would mutter, “Yeah, Kill me, I like it rough”…. and we’d all laugh and get to work. You say that enough times over a period of a few years tho, and you get to believing it. It gets you through, but I forgot how to “turn it off”. Took awhile to learn how to be human again. Don’t apologize for being human Stucky.
I know of what you are going thru and could spout off a multitude of Bible verses. I wasn’t going to read this Stucky posting because I was thinking it would be more of the same, mocking God, mocking those that follow Christ and general intolerance of Biblical principles.
Glad I did read it as it gives me hope and gratitude that my heavenly Father still listens and answers prayers. When you challenged me to pray for you I took it up. My prayers for you were for God to open your eyes and speak to your heart, for grace to befall you, today. I can’t say I’ve prayed every day, but as often as I’ve been here this past summer and fall, I offered that prayer. Its not my prayer but the prayers of many here that I’m certain pray for you, its what we do, that and feeding the needy, mowing their lawns, driving people to appointments, living the mandate to prefer others over self.
My wifes parents are both 98 and have been in an independent living apartment this last two years. Prior to that we lived next door to them and did everything from yard care, chauffer and I cooked their meals. They’ve been in prison since the scamdemic started and they want out, understandably. So now we have to build a ramp into their house and remove all the carpets, etc, so they can come ‘home’. Replace from storage, their belongings and we move to the basement of an 850 sq ft house at the worst possible time for me. Winter. My pain goes up and I’m locked indoors until spring, now in a dungeon. Not relating any of this as a pissing contest to see who has it worse or bragging but to let you know I understand what you are going thru, daily. I don’t relish the position, but I am thankful as it allows me to pray for you with understanding. And this is what I shall continue to do.
Thank you for posting this piece of your life… sincerely
Thanks, brian.
When you said that you would pray for me I thought to my self, “sure, whatever”. Not that I thought you were a liar. No. It’s just one of those things people say .. to be nice … and then they forget about it. As I got to know you better here on TPB, I thought — hmmm, he might be one of those who will actually follow through. And, now? I know that you did! You are a friend, for sure.
Remember a couple of years ago when my friend and I prayed the novena for mine and her family and added you into the mix. I really did join their prayers each day, but without the rosary bead business because, well, C’mon!
But here’s the damn kicker. Your dearest (((Moe))) passed away, my friend’s family situation deteriorated further and I ended up getting almost half of my intestines removed along with the hernia mesh holding my gut together.
I don’t think the SuperNovena worked, do you?
Habbakuk3:
Nick and I quit smoking over 15 years ago.
However, I have a package of good tobacco in the storage room in case the bombs start falling.
Praise the Lord,
Pass the ammunition,
Stucky is seeing the light,
Miracles do happen,
Thank you God Almighty!
Thanks, again, to everyone for commenting. What a wonderful support group!
Before leaving for the day — I have a LOT of errands to do — I’ll leave a few quotes. The author starts off each chapter with a quote. Here are my 6 favorite ones:
==================
1)– “Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for the sort of man he is. Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in the cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding.”
—– C.S. Lewis, “Mere Christianity”
.
.
2)– “The very word prayer comes from the Latin root precarius — a linguistic cousin to precarious.”
—– Philip Yancey, “Prayer”
.
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3)– “The opposite of faith is not doubt, but fear.”
—– Philip Yancey, “Reaching For The Invisible God”
.
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4)– “Prayer does not move God to do things he is disinclined to do. Prayer is God’s way of bringing our priorities in line with his.”
—– John Piper, “Hallowed Be Thy Name”
.
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5)– “You only live twice. Once when you are born. And once when you look death in the face.”
—– Ian Fleming, “You Only Live Twice”
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6)– “He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.”
—– Aeschylus, “Agamemnon”
Yo, Stuck,
I always try to read what you post and, although I don’t always comment, it doesn’t mean I didn’t read it or appreciate what was posted. Sometimes I honestly don’t know what to say. And other times I want to say (probably) too much, but lack the focus or time (usually both) to adequately type a response and follow-up with any pursuant conversations.
Perhaps all that goes without saying but I wanted it on the record
If I WERE to respond in this thread it would have likely had to do with the following: There is a striking difference between what people THINK the Bible says versus what it ACTUALLY says. For example, many believe they must do good things to escape death and be resurrected into eternal life. The Bible doesn’t say that. Even many born-again Christians say they are “sinners” but the Bible says they are, actually, saints.
Stuff like that.
Anyway, just know I appreciate ya, man
I think we are both.
I still sin but God views me through eyes of grace as a Saint due to my faith in Jesus.
Maybe I won’t skip his posts now. I’ve wished there was a block feature often.
Good stuff, mon. The older I get the more I realize stuff I thought I knew …. just ain’t so! And I’m talking about a lot more stuff than just Bible things.
I actually has a sad when you don’t make at least one comment on my original articles. But, no sad today!! 🙂
Stucky,
Glad you’ve found the salve to help heal your soul. I promise it’ll help take the hurt away and remove the darkness.
I’m no Pollyanna– I’ve enjoyed my share of Dominican no-label cigars, beer and single malt– but when there’s a riot in your town, do you decide to grab the alcatrol and knock back a few pops? No, and it isn’t your town that’s on fire, it’s the whole country. Time to focus on what’s important and save the celebratin’ for when we win. Get healthy and concentrate.
I’ve seen the end of me, too. Went “there,” once. Nothing there, not me, or anything else. Then, back to this (in the back of an ambulance…metaphor). And so nothing to worry over, or about, now. The poetry of referring to it as (going on to your) reward may be quite literal, tho, juxtaposed life’s gauntlet. Sometimes nuthin’ can be a real cool hand.
Stoic exemplars, not “exemplars” sucking up to some “power” (or wielding it, like Aurelius) … bushido codeds (chips as may) not written into some lordmaster’s hardware (ronin?), etc…
…but the best is, will always be personal experience that has not been clotted over with “teachings” – if, only if, as that ol’ Galileo said, it’s already in you, including the desire/ability to decipher, translate.
If your name is Phil, or Philomena, then philosophy’s a word that might fit (as well as any word/s can). “Might” depends on whether it’s yours, or just something memorized, or 3rd party imprinted, for the stage, including the audience part.
I was fortunate to have been young when I went. Taking that trip early, visiting for a bit, may have been a useful antidote to later impressionableness. “It” got to me before ”they” did; the press gang “educators” were too late. But of course, I was already there, before all that follow-on.
“I am struck, as always, by the desperate need of the Beats for some sort of transcendental experience or faith. Burroughs is drawn to L. Ron Hubbard’s Dianetics. Jack (Kerouac) & Allen (Ginsburg), to Edgar Cayce’s Zen Buddhism. Curous that three essentially realistic writers should crave mystical experience or, perhaps, the first part of this sentence answers the question I was going to pose. Without much imagination of one’s own & yet eager to achieve some higher estate, it is natural to turn to those who claim to have achieved it & appropriate their “vision.” Drugs also enhance reality as my great-grandfather Luther Lazarus Rewalt discovered when he peddled gin & sugar as “Rewalt’s Elixir.” ~ Palimpsest, A Memoir, Gore Vidal
Nice to have you back!
Stucky – Now that you have had your “Come to Jesus moment”, what sort of articles do you see yourself writing? Just wondering, we could use some serious guidance these days.
. duplicate post deleted …
You have such a talent Stucky, use it for good works. Would you just consider a article about the coming Metaverse and how it will effect people spiritually? Biblical verse application to ward off the further destruction of humanity by evil. The devil is going to trick a lot of people, front running trouble never hurts.
Its another fake to distract and replace that which is real. Metaverse will be the utopia that MANY will flock to for spiritual fulfillment and will leave them dead inside and out. Its also the training ground for the communists like *uckerberg to target children and they are going to target children the hardest.
Part of the ‘plan’ is to produce a Matrix where you can live wherever you want, void of any physical limitations or subject to Natural Laws. They are also looking to immortality by uploading your consciousness into cyberspace thereby replacing God.
As per usual, the messages given are all benevolent and oozing cookies’n cream as the real intensions are hidden and obscured. The hidden results in slavery and total control of the individual which they will surrender to willingly. Tech is a double edged sword that generally starts out with good intensions but is quickly corrupted.
Brian- Agree, total enslavement due to addiction and escapism.
I won’t be writing anything for the next 30 days … explanation will follow in an article going up tomorrow.
After that, I don’t expect much to change. If a topic can make a person THINK, or laugh, or feel good, or honestly, make them royally pissed off ——- well, those are all candidates for a posting.
I won’t be writing any religious articles, or even hardly making comments. It’s too controversial and too many people get pissed off if you don’t believe or see things as they do. Sorry, but that’s the absolute truth. So, I’m keeping my beliefs close to my chest for the foreseeable future.
I’ll look forward to whatever you post Stucky as always. I don’t Bible thump or quote scripture, nor do I argue religious doctrine for a reason. I hear ya.
These are the times that will try our souls, we really need guidance and churches are corrupt.
I told my husband, honestly, I didn’t want to grow old and die without him, so I hope to go first, albeit painlessly if God willing. I am so sorry you lost the love of your life. May God give you the answer(s) you seek.