FRIDAY FAIL

Before bestowing the accolade that everyone here cares so little about, let me pause for a moment to laud all of us here at TBP. We’ve been right almost from the outset regarding virtually everything about covid. By early spring 2020 we were fully aware masks, social distancing, and lockdowns were useless against a virus, but very useful as control mechanisms and to divert people’s attention while they stole trillions. We knew by summer 2020 that the scamdemic was a function of a misapplied PCR test. We knew by late 2020 that HCQ and ivermectin were critical in the fight against covid. We knew very early last year that the vaccines were a risky shot against a largely riskless virus. (Not completely riskless, of course; we miss you Cow Doc!) Even on FF we were teasing the brain-dead adherents to the narrative that this was the end of days as early as February 2020. That winter and spring we were poking fun at the masks, social distancing, and lockdowns. Throughout this travesty we used humour to lambaste the corrupt, lying authorities and to interact with like-minded friends, so important when most people, even our loved ones, were convinced we were losing our minds. Well, I’m just as sane as I ever was! None other than Clancy, my invisible leprechaun, has repeatedly assured me of this.

At long last, we’re approaching the endpoint of all this nonsense. The covid battle is all but won. No doubt the oligarchs have salvos they’ve yet to launch, but let’s celebrate what looks to be a victory for now, with jurisdictions all over the planet ending the mandates. Even the blue states are relenting, what with the midterms approaching and Dem popularity in the toilet.

There are still holdouts; petty tyrants still sucking the teat of Klaus Schwab (His Cursedness), who continue to ignore the real science. Chief among them is Austrian Chancellor Karl Nehammer. Austria has implemented mandatory vaccinations for all citizens, with police going house-to-house to check mRNA injection status, with hefty fines for daring to defy the Fuehrer. Naziism dies hard in Hitler’s birthplace. “Young Global Leader” Trudeau (as proclaimed by Louse Schwab) is, as is his wont, shitting the bed in his response to the truckers and accomplishing nothing other than further inflaming the situation. Now, with the closure of the bridge between Windsor and Detroit, which accommodates 28% of the trade between the largest trading partners in the world, Trudeau and his Liberal (communist) cohorts are in panic mode, spitting vituperation but solving nothing. Trudeau slinked back to Parliament to make a speech that went, “Blah blah blah, how dare you shut down Canada’s economy, you Nazis; that’s my job!”

Ottawa city council shrieked that the truckers were guilty of treason and insurrection. I assume the treason is their call for restored freedom; the insurrection must be kids playing on bouncy castles. Here I thought the Dems had a lock on most ridiculous charge of insurrection when they classified strolling through Congress unarmed as the worst insurrection since the 1860s. Funny to see all the Ottawa bureaucrats enraged over losing sleep from beeping horns when they didn’t lose a wink over the complete destruction of our God-given freedoms over the last two years. Boohoo, arse clowns.

The LA mayor is keeping all mandates in place, but says citizens can go without if they hold their breath. Police will arrest anyone without a mask who is breathing, except for Hollywood stars, of course.

Not to be outdone, the dotard nominally in charge of the USA is attempting to re-establish the discredited narrative via censorship and threats. “The United States remains in a heightened threat environment fueled by several factors, including an online environment filled with false or misleading narratives and conspiracy theories.” Yes, according to DHS, if you “undermine public trust in government institutions,” especially about covid or election fraud, you are a terrorist. I guess that includes us here at FF. My new business card shall therefore read, “Bob P, terrorist.” That should impress the ladies.

As for my province of Ontario, our premier, Fat Fuck Ford, might be getting set to declare a state of emergency in preparation for dealing with terrorist truckers who dare to demand their freedom. His government announced yesterday they are keeping vaccine mandates, masks, and lockdown measures, but giving out free testing kits! In response, I sent this note to him yesterday morning:

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I watched with disbelief the press conference telling the world the Ontario government will be keeping the counterproductive, immoral, illegal mandates but . . . wait for it . . . will be handing out free testing kits! Oh, thank you, thank you!

You and your advisors have to be the stupidest people on the planet. It’s been clear for many years masks don’t work. The science is definitive on this point, and if your advisors are too ignorant to know this, just look at the caseload explosion in Ontario as the new year unfolded with the mask mandate in place. How can anyone with an IQ above single digits believe masks work after that? Same goes for social distancing and the vaccines. We’re supposed to be something like 80% vaccinated, yet caseloads explode higher? It’s clear the vaccines are useless. Your own data show the vast majority of covid-positive hospitalized patients are fully vaccinated. There is absolutely no rational basis for vaccine mandates.

Much of Europe and most of the US states have dropped these ludicrous mandates. What do your “advisers” and “experts” know that they don’t? Does the virus discriminate against Ontarians?

Are you deaf to what the people are demanding? Do you see the outpouring of support for the Canadian truckers? Do you understand that they are in desperate straits due to these foolish mandates that you continue to support, and that they are serious with their shutting down ports into Ontario? With this going on, your best move is more testing kits? Are you out of your mind? What abysmal stupidity!

You are the epitome of a failed politician. You have stolen our rights and ruined thousands of individuals and people for no benefit. Yet you continue with the same failed policies. I hope and pray that your political career will end marching to prison in shackles. You’re a disgrace.

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You may be able to detect a tinge of irritation and a soupcon of impatience in my note. Will it make the premier relent? What a foolish question. As everybody knows, what Bob says goes. Rebel News is reporting that Fat Fuck Ford will soon announce the end of the vaccine mandates in Ontario. So he read my blistering letter and caved! Had nothing to do with the truckers or the thousands of others who inundated the premier’s office with outraged calls and texts. It was all me! All hail Bob! We’ll see if the steaming heap of shit follows through. He got a corrupt judge to try to freeze the GiveSendGo money for truckers, so he’s deaf to what the people are screaming (GiveSendGo told him to fuck his hat). Let’s all hope Ford really does mean Found on Road Dead.

I wrote a similar note to our coward in chief Soyboy Trudeau last week, telling him to resign, and . . . um . . . any day now . . . Let me amend my little couplet: As everybody knows Bob’s unneeded, whatever he says goes unheeded.

Friday Fail of the Week goes to all the holdouts. Your days in power are numbered, bag lappers.

Enjoy Friday Fail.