WASHINGTON, D.C. — Poor lil’ guy! According to sources, Senator Mitch McConnell became so spooked today by the release of unedited Jan 6 footage that he withdrew his head into his shell and is refusing to come out.
“Oh no! He’s scared! It’s ok buddy! You can come out now!” said one of his aides, attempting to coax him out with a handful of seaweed pellets. “Shhh–no one’s gonna hurt you! The buffalo man is gone! Come on, it’s ok!”
Eyewitnesses say the elderly Senator slowly emerged, his big eyes darting to and fro, scanning for danger. Aides were frustrated, however, when McConnell’s eyes caught a glimpse of a red baseball cap out of the corner of his eye, which caused him to panic and flip over on his back and kick his legs helplessly in the air.
At publishing time, sources had confirmed Nancy Pelosi was so unsettled by the footage that she shed her skin twice.
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NOT the Babylon Bee:
Gee, can anyone think of a reason the government would want to suppress the truth about Jan. 6th?
The Democrats and Never Trumper Republicans keep telling us about transparency. Biden promised to be the most Transparent President ever. Now they are talking suppression?
If only. The pic doesn’t withdraw his head enough.
A guillotine would withdraw it enough.
FU Turtle Boy……..
Yes, or GFY Turtle Boy…….
You would think these bozos would learn something. Like when the SC Congress Critter that represented Myrtle Beach voted to impeach Trump got his ass handed to him on a plate in the R Primary.
Our AG, Alan Wilson, can choose to run for Guv and win in 2026 or oppose Linseed and kick his ass too. But am disappointed in Alan’s dad Joe (R, SC-2) who wants to place a bust of Zelinskyyyy in the Capital. Joe’s the guy who scremed “You Lie” at Obummer bck in 2009.
Joe is the Pot calling the Kettle black….wow is that saying too wayciss?
Truth comes out nothing changes we continue to collapse.
Patience. …
“We got them damned Yankees on the Run!”
– General Joeseph Wheeler…June 24, 1898, in Cuba.
He was 33 years late, and a different enemy, but He was true to his spirit…as We should all be, and then He was on the winning side.
Nothing or no one is going to stop the controlled demolation collapse happening.
The only thing an individual can control is their prep and attitude going into TSHTF.
Right. If only.
Truly the only thing you can ever control is your reaction to events larger than you . I don’t know how you could find fault in that basic advice .” It is what it is now what ?” basically .
Nancy Pelosi was so unsettled by the footage that she shed her skin twice.
Funniest line in the piece.
Pour some vodka over the corpse and it will come back to life.
McConnell is not spooked about anything. This story has been shut down. There was nothing new reported tonight. This story is over.
It’s time for this country to kill off these people either from within or with help from the out side .
I like to call it “his foreskin” him being a dick head and all. It’s kind of an insult to turtles otherwise.
Put a rope around his neck and pull it back out.
Reportedly the turtle fell and is in hospital . . . we can only hope for the just outcome he deserves!
A ventilator and titration with Remsdesivir?
here’s the story —
he is going to remain hospitalized 4 several days —
i’m torn,should i pray 4 his recovery or hope 4 the worse?
https://dailycaller.com/2023/03/09/mitch-mcconnell-hospitalized-concussion-several-days/?utm_source=piano&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=breaking&pnespid=puB.FCJWJKod2vjbum3oCMPctU2vTp9ndbO307Bmoh5memYkVqU2wEikpls9gfvE9TTexSlZ
Pray for him to get what he deserves.
McConnell trips and falls down, goes to the hospital where he is safe from the truth.
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell Hospitalized After Incident At Dinner
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) was rushed to the hospital on Wednesday evening after falling during a dinner.
McConnell’s hospitalization comes as Democrat Sens. John Fetterman (PA) and Dianne Feinstein (CA) have both been hospitalized in recent weeks.
Seems like the hospital is the safest place to be in DC these days!
Our enemies are not in Russia or China, they are in Washington DC.
A chronic malignancy that gives nice Terrapins a really bad name.
I see the Chinese Turtle tripped…unfortunately he was on level ground and not approaching the edge of a 30 story building.