IRVINE, CA — Jubilant revelry broke out yesterday following the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling against colleges using Affirmative Action policies in their admissions, with Asian American families celebrating by cutting loose with a five-minute study break.
“We’re really letting it all hang out today!” said Stephen Chen. “An unprecedented court ruling calls for an unprecedented celebration. We’ve never let the kids have a break from their studies — especially not an entire five minutes!”
The ruling from the nation’s highest court prevents colleges and universities from discriminating against applicants based on race or ethnicity, leading many to believe highly qualified Asian students will no longer be shut out in favor of filling quotas for students with other ethnic backgrounds. “Our kids could probably teach a lot of these college classes,” said Jason Wong. “With colleges no longer being limited on the number of Asians they can accept, our children now have the amazing opportunities previously only afforded to kids who claimed to be oppressed.”
Though some critics decried the court’s ruling as damaging to minority students, others hailed the decision as a difference-maker for college video game competitions. “Having more Asian students will be a godsend for our Starcraft team,” said college student William Moon.
At publishing time, the boisterous partying in the Asian-centric communities in the area was expected to stretch all the way until the break of 8 P.M., at which time the children would return to their studies of advanced astrophysics before meticulously cleaning their houses and going to bed early.
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Well, it is only 95F index 106F. It has been heat index of 110+F for several days. I think I’ll have another frosty beverage and go mow the rest of the pasture. Although the stuff that has been mowed is putting up seed heads.
I just put a new front tire on the tractor and I am soaking wet. I think I’ll change to shorts before I begin. It’s not very farmerish, but I am not a real farmer.
It is a good thing you are not a farmer or the government would soon be forcing you to quit.
Weather is about the same here. Had a T-storm blow through mid morning w/ 1/2″ rain and it raised the humidity from unbearable to completely unbearable. Monday will be my mowing day, getting ready for the explosives the grandkids will set off. Those rocket stick are hell to see & pick up in tall grass.
I always at least say God bless you in my mind, when I read you, because I would take Arkansas over Tennessee any day of the week, But yea, it is hot.
Dang that is funny. I am am laughing alone like a crazy person. Well done.
How dare those Chinks work hard? Dat beez rayciss.
One inaccuracy in the otherwise perfect story: Asian tiger moms don’t make their kids clean house or do any kind of domestic toil. That would detract from their time to study, study, study. I know – married to a Taiwanese lady.
Gender is a social construct. Housework be misogynisss.
Is pregnancy and child bearing a social construct too? I heard men can now do both. Real science, that has become a social construct with nothing to do about science.
more like 5 minute cheating break
Moran
moran doan no know ayzhuns
only stoopeed whypipple no cheet
erreyone erse raff at whypipple
It’s all about the values.
LOL. Epic.