WASHINGTON, D.C. — As tensions between the federal government and 25 red states over securing the border continued to stoke fears of another Civil War, President Biden cleverly distracted a concerned American public by announcing the start of a new World War.
“It’s time to bomb Iran!” said the President to a bowl of melted ice cream on his nightstand. “Those whipper-snappers have been living on borrowed time ever since they chased me and the boys around the pool with switchblades. And if that doesn’t do the trick, we’ll bomb Russia and China as well. Not a joke!”
Many critics who overheard the conversation questioned the wisdom of such a move, but some in the Republican Party applauded the President’s firm stance. “Did someone say ‘bomb Iran?'” said Senator Lindsey Graham. “Ooooh baby, I usually wait until the third date for that kind of talk! Is it hot in here?”
Former National Security Advisor John Bolton also applauded the move. “There’s nothing I love more than waking up in the morning to the news that we’re bombing someone,” he said over a breakfast of raw fish being tossed directly into his mouth. He then clapped and grunted loudly.
Experts predict that a Biden World War with a nuclear Iran might take the public’s minds off Civil War for at least a couple of weeks. After that, the administration may be forced to activate Taylor Swift.
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Two timely articles on the cluster frick that the country has become, intentionally, not by accident.
Biden’s so old that the idea of a “wartime president” (everybody will rally around the president during a war) is stamped into his memory like a cattle brand. Sure old man. You’re a regular FDR. Maybe you should try “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself” – except that he’d deliver it as a bunch of gibberish.
The guy is an idiot. A corrupt one bud still an idiot.
They have to do something. The National Felon’s League is winding down and the people might start paying attention to what is happening again. Who am I kidding? Negroe Ball Association is ongoing and March Madness, like spring is just around the corner. Then it will be time for Minority League Baseball. Looks like there will be no time for interest in the destruction of the country.
No … no … no …
The Big Guy was just mumbling the words to the old Beach Boys song … ‘Barbara Ann’, not ‘Bomb Iran’ …
The Civil War will certainly be televised.
Biden isn’t starting anything, the cabal behind him is
It’s a trap…the traitors Obombo and Valerie Jarrett haven’t been supporting Iran for all these years for no reason.