Facing Low Approval, Biden Promises To Start Pretending To Care About The Border

Via The Babylon Bee

BROWNSVILLE, TX — With his approval hovering near record lows, President Biden made a trip to the Southern Border today and promised to begin pretending to care about it.

“Listen folks, here’s the deal. I don’t care about the border,” said the President to a Border Patrol horse he mistook for an agent. “But as I stand here today, I vow to begin pretending to care. I will do this until my approval numbers go up a few points. As long as the border continues to stay wide open and let millions of people in, by golly, I will really feign concern.”

Biden then began to tell a moving story about how his son once died while trying to cross the border.

“The nation is breathing a sigh of relief this afternoon, knowing that Biden really looks like he almost cares,” said CNN anchor Jake Tapper. “Just look at his furrowed brow and concerned-looking eyes. No one can simulate sympathy like President Biden. Wow, what a great guy.”

At publishing time, Biden’s realistic-looking concern was interrupted by him being trampled over by a crowd of 5,000 border-crossers from Somalia.

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5 Comments
YourAverageJoe
YourAverageJoe
February 26, 2024 8:14 pm

Maybe the cartels will kidnap him…and send back a finger or an ear, to show they mean business….gringo.

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
  YourAverageJoe
February 26, 2024 8:41 pm

If we’re lucky they’d de-head him.

lamont cranston
lamont cranston
  YourAverageJoe
February 26, 2024 8:44 pm

Kinda like “Escape From NYC”… but no Snake.

Have you seen te YouTube of Kurt & Goldie in St. Petersburg with Putin singing “Blueberry Hill” in perfect English?

Likely scrubbed by now.

Anonymoose
Anonymoose
February 26, 2024 11:35 pm

Let’s be real here…the only reason Brandon is going to the border is he was promised there’d be lots of little kids to chose from…

Ron
Ron
  Anonymoose
February 27, 2024 3:40 am

or he’s hoping to lift the horse’s tail and pleasure himself with something in deep dark memory from his Corn Pop days.