BROWNSVILLE, TX — With his approval hovering near record lows, President Biden made a trip to the Southern Border today and promised to begin pretending to care about it.
“Listen folks, here’s the deal. I don’t care about the border,” said the President to a Border Patrol horse he mistook for an agent. “But as I stand here today, I vow to begin pretending to care. I will do this until my approval numbers go up a few points. As long as the border continues to stay wide open and let millions of people in, by golly, I will really feign concern.”
Biden then began to tell a moving story about how his son once died while trying to cross the border.
“The nation is breathing a sigh of relief this afternoon, knowing that Biden really looks like he almost cares,” said CNN anchor Jake Tapper. “Just look at his furrowed brow and concerned-looking eyes. No one can simulate sympathy like President Biden. Wow, what a great guy.”
At publishing time, Biden’s realistic-looking concern was interrupted by him being trampled over by a crowd of 5,000 border-crossers from Somalia.
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Maybe the cartels will kidnap him…and send back a finger or an ear, to show they mean business….gringo.
If we’re lucky they’d de-head him.
Kinda like “Escape From NYC”… but no Snake.
Have you seen te YouTube of Kurt & Goldie in St. Petersburg with Putin singing “Blueberry Hill” in perfect English?
Likely scrubbed by now.
Let’s be real here…the only reason Brandon is going to the border is he was promised there’d be lots of little kids to chose from…
or he’s hoping to lift the horse’s tail and pleasure himself with something in deep dark memory from his Corn Pop days.