COMMON CORE MATH

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Feelings Now Acceptable As Answers To Math Problems

Via The Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C.—An update issued Tuesday to the 2017–2018 Common Core educational standards now allows students to answer mathematics problems by responding with whatever their feelings are telling them at the time.

One example problem given to illustrate the updated standards asked students to figure out when a 6:00 a.m. train leaving Boston at thirty miles per hour and a 7:00 a.m. Milwaukee train headed the opposite direction at forty miles per hour will intersect. A list of possible solutions to the sample problem published in the Common Core standards obtained by reporters indicated that “Ugh,” “I’m offended,” “Triggered,” “Trains scare me,” “Boston scares me,” “Milwaukee scares me,” and “Kill yourself,” would all be scored as correct.

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