WASHINGTON, D.C.—An update issued Tuesday to the 2017–2018 Common Core educational standards now allows students to answer mathematics problems by responding with whatever their feelings are telling them at the time.
One example problem given to illustrate the updated standards asked students to figure out when a 6:00 a.m. train leaving Boston at thirty miles per hour and a 7:00 a.m. Milwaukee train headed the opposite direction at forty miles per hour will intersect. A list of possible solutions to the sample problem published in the Common Core standards obtained by reporters indicated that “Ugh,” “I’m offended,” “Triggered,” “Trains scare me,” “Boston scares me,” “Milwaukee scares me,” and “Kill yourself,” would all be scored as correct.
“Any emotion, feeling, statement, or catchphrase is an acceptable answer to most of the problems in the new mathematics standards,” a Common Core representative told reporters. “As long as students are being sincere, genuine, authentic, and true to themselves at the time they are answering the question, that’s all we can ask as educators.”
“Who are we to tell anyone that their own mathematical truth is wrong?” the rep added.
According to the rep, the Common Core standards will be updated next year to include feelings as acceptable responses to any and all questions pertaining to biology, chemistry, grammar, and history, while sources claim that English literature teachers have already been accepting emotions as responses for years.
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As a retired engineer, I whole heartedly support this. There is simply no reason maff has to be hard.
Wish they’d have thought of this 40 years ago; it would have saved me and numerous others untold stress!
I have a “feeling” 2+2 =5, and the year is 1984.
The inmates are running the asylum.
So now 1 and 1 is 11?
Yay!
I luv Maff.
Let’s hope none of these trigger-prone idiots makes it into any of the engineering schools. If they do our infrastructure will start failing before the construction is finished.
Looks like it already started:
https://www.bisnow.com/south-florida/news/construction-development/miami-bridge-collapse-99464
Saw a photo of the very diverse design/build team……..
Move on!!!
Teacher: “Dice, what’s the difference between two eggs and three eggs?”
A.D.Clay: “That’s what I say, Teach. What’s the phockin’ difference?”
This is not a safe place for the Diceman, anon. Aureola and the Crimson Crusader will hang your ass, ask me how I know.
Dice is classic.
“Little boy blue…..He needed the money…(Oh&hhhhhhh!!))
Another guy with current stuff is Bill Burr!
I’m sure most TBPers would enjoy his new stand up, here is a preview
Truly Priceless
Q: 2+2=?
A: Black-student….that is a racist question and makes white privileged males more important because I FEEL that way.
How about when paychecks are issued to this type of “educator” we draw a nice picture in the space where the dollar amount is supposed to go? A cute little doggie or kitten that would make them feel good.
Here’s a warning to those that think math is no big deal. I live in California companies can no longer rely on a college graduate to know the basics. Employers are requiring math and spelling tests before they even consider your resume. This has nothing to do with the pay or if you graduated it has everything to do with schools allowing students to graduate that don’t know how to spell their names. Where are the parents are they not concerned their children will never have a future?
The pre-employment math and spelling tests are to make sure you won’t give them any trouble when they short you a couple of hundred dollars on your paycheck.
You worked 46 hours, Lenny. 46 times $3 per hour is $100 minus state and federal taxes is $50. Here’s a $5 coupon for Kohl’s and $38 in cash. See you on Monday at 4:30 sharp!
Math, dumbed down by and for dummies so they can feel good about themselves. Besides, it was not a math question. It was a physical science question to be answered by common sense.