Tag: Sleepy Joe Biden

Biden Attempts To Win Over Youth With Appearance On ‘The Ed Sullivan Show’

Via The Babylon Bee

MANHATTAN—In a move tailor-made for his target demographic, Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden announced Monday he will appear on an upcoming episode of television’s The Ed Sullivan Show.

“I think booking a gig on the ‘ol tube will boost my poll numbers with the youngsters,” Biden told sources. “This Ed fella seems to know what the kids are into. He just had that band with those 4 mop-headed dudes from England- what was their name again?”

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Biden’s Popularity Skyrockets Among Coveted 1920s Working Class Demographic

Via The Babylon Bee

U.S.—Many have criticized Joe Biden’s new campaign slogan, “No Malarkey,” for being out of touch and old-fashioned.

But new polls show that the slogan is actually a huge hit among the working class in the 1920s. While a minority said Trump was their man and a few liked some of the other Democratic candidates, over 92% of the 1920s demographic said that they were “real keen on Biden.”

“I like this Biden fellow, see?” said one man smoking a cigar in a speakeasy as he cleaned his Tommy gun. “No balderdash, no malarkey, not on his watch, ya got it, toots? He’s the real deal, the bee’s knees, the cat’s pajamas, a real nifty gent, and I ain’t no pushover, ya see?”

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NO MALARKEY

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Biden Pressing for Higher Immigration, Disregards Environmental Consequences

Guest Post by Joe Guzzardi

With Round 3 of the Democratic president debates set for this Thursday, the nation should brace itself for the leading candidates’ hearty endorsement of more budget-busting, public safety-threatening ideas.

Despite its projected $70 billion cost, Medicare for all, including illegal immigrants, is the frontrunners’ favorite talking point. But that idea is so off the rails that even longtime uber-liberal and former Senate Majority leader Harry Reid, instrumental in pushing Obamacare through Congress, called the giveaway a “loser” for the 2020 Democrats. Reid was equally critical of the misguided proposal that border crossing be decriminalized. He correctly predicted that if such an ill-conceived idea became law, it would trigger unprecedented border surges.

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