FRIDAY FAIL

funny fail story student is charged with assault after baby carrot is defined as a weapon

funny fail image Bastian Schweinsteiger sues toy maker over nazi soldier doll

German Soccer player Bastian Schweinsteiger is suing a Chinese toy-maker for their Nazi soldier doll with his first name.

Fail of The Day: Dynamic Duo Steals Jewelry From Art Gallery, Leaves Name And Number in Guest Book

Police say a man and woman were arrested this weekend in Palm Springs after stealing a bracelet and ring from an art studio. And how were they caught?

They signed the guest book.

Megan Ohara, 24, and David Ziskoski, 19, were arrested for allegedly stealing the jewelry, which was valued at $6,000.

Here’s how it went down, according to the Sun Sentinel:

When confronted, Ohara told police she had the items in her purse. She gave the officers the ring and bracelet, and subsequently, she and Ziskoski were arrested.As officers arrived back to the gallery, the artist said he had noticed something in his gallery’s guestbook. Someone had written multiple fake email entries into the guestbook, including “[email protected],” according to the arrest report.

Two of the fake emails included the name “Meg” and one included Ohara’s phone number next to it. Also on the page was a drawing of male genitalia and a woman’s face labeled as “Meg.”

Someone get these two a Darwin Award, stat!

pop culture daily what outrage-of-the-day-zendaya-calls-out-magazine-for-retouching-her-photos-and-posts-the-original

Disney star Zendaya was set to appear on the cover of the French Magazine Modeliste but when she saw the final pictures she called out the magazine on Instagram for over photoshopping the images. She released the original image next to the new image that showed her body unrealistically slimmed down with this message on her Instagram:

Had a new shoot come out today and was shocked when I found my 19 year old hips and torso quite manipulated. These are the things that make women self conscious, that create the unrealistic ideals of beauty that we have. Anyone who knows who I am knows I stand for honest and pure self love. So I took it upon myself to release the real pic (right side) and I love it??

Since then Modeliste editors have taken down the retouched photos and pulled the magazine issue until they can release unedited versions of the photo shoot.

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27 Comments
Buddabull
Buddabull
October 23, 2015 4:31 pm

Woman Arrested For Masturbating With Jimmy Dean Sausage In Walmart Bathroom

Hope@ZeroKelvin
Hope@ZeroKelvin
October 23, 2015 4:54 pm

@Admin: So the last Fail above, is that an aisle where there is a lot of wine OR a place where the Jewish housewives hang out?

starfcker
starfcker
October 23, 2015 5:42 pm

and her name is actually Shaniqua

Iska Waran
Iska Waran
October 23, 2015 6:16 pm

A real game of “hide the sausage”.

IndenturedServant
IndenturedServant
October 23, 2015 7:16 pm

Re the baby carrot…..the punishment seems a bit harsh to me but that usually indicates a situation has gotten out of hand. Mommy has that look that indicates she doesn’t understand why pelting teachers with food is not ok. Also, it seems that they no longer teach people how to use and read a ruler. Used properly that cart is every bit of two inches. Maybe that will elevate the crime to felony status?

TE
TE
October 23, 2015 7:38 pm

Yet more proof of our completely damaged brains.

There is NO other explanation I can think of, none.

Obamacare is paying for them to reproduce.

Serenity now and I’m doubling down on my prayers for protection. Wow

TE
TE
October 23, 2015 7:43 pm

@IS, I don’t think the mom is wondering why it is wrong.

I think she, as well as me, is wondering how a teen prank, maybe even accident, can be made into a felony that will destroy this child’s future?

When we were in school, a childish prank like this would have warranted a couple lunches in the office, maybe a note home, or my personal most hated the dreaded, “write 500 times ‘I will not throw food or other things at Mrs. Shouldn’tbeteaching.”

But ASSAULT?

Anyone that think these overblown levels of insanity that serve to create MORE laws, MORE cops, MORE judges, MORE probation officers, MORE government on every freaking level, is somehow making us safer, IS the problem.

IndenturedServant
IndenturedServant
October 23, 2015 10:04 pm

@T4C, Ho Lee Fuk! When I saw your “what a fucking nightmare” I thought you were talking about the woman’s (?) picture!

“The male security guard says he knocked on the bathroom door several times but the woman did not respond. He then announced he was entering. What he found behind the door of the unlocked stall is something he said will “haunt his dreams forever.””

I’m sorry but if you work as a security guard at Walmart you have to expect to see something like that at some point. I mean it’s not like you’re working at SAKS 5th Avenue right?

That poor, poor sausage! It’s only good for flinging at muslims now!

bb likes the big gals so I suggest that he let her ride shotgun with him which will keep her out of jail and keep him from getting lonely.

Somebody needs to be smacked for posting that!

Please pass the brain bleach!

IndenturedServant
IndenturedServant
October 23, 2015 10:09 pm

@TE, the upside is that “MORE” of everything will eventually lead to the solution we so desperately need. This juggernaut is still building a head of steam and the faster the better IMO!

IndenturedServant
IndenturedServant
October 23, 2015 10:40 pm

I’m glad Jimmy Dean did not live to see this!

ASIG
ASIG
October 24, 2015 1:33 am

“putting in work with the sausage.”

Gives a whole new meaning to going to work.

Hard at work.

Working up a sweat.

Anonymous
Anonymous
October 24, 2015 4:10 am

Jimmy Dean,”cant beat my meat”Wasn’t that their slogan?Apparently one can.

Ian
Ian
October 24, 2015 8:29 am

This woman earned herself a double entry: Friday Fail and People of Walmart.

Ian

Billy
Billy
October 24, 2015 11:21 am

John Cleese is talking about the Dunning-Kruger Effect…

Some people are so stupid, they are completely unaware of how stupid they really are…

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect

javelin
javelin
October 29, 2015 10:04 am

The apple juice and straw dislike–this is normal 3 to 5 year old behavior. They are all neurotic at that age.