This is obviously a message from God. What about the Three Kings who followed the star so they could hand the poor babe’s mother some gold, frankincense and myrrh? Were the import taxes paid on those precious gifts? And, by the way, was the gold in coinage or just lumps found in the desert?
What about the little Drummer boy? Did he REALLY have permission to play the hit single “Rumpapumpum” or was it a copyright infringement?
These are questions the official newstory doesn’t address, Stucky. Inquiring minds want to know.
daddysteve
December 22, 2015 11:45 am
This just became my desktop wallpaper. Cracked me the fuck up!
JFish
December 22, 2015 12:02 pm
On page 2 I bet there is another article (written by Michael Shermer’s ancestor) on how the Star of Bethlehem was merely an optical illusion due to excessive atmospheric CO2 caused by sheep flatulence.
RHS Jr
December 22, 2015 12:32 pm
I don’t get why animals (and Jesus) had to be killed for God to forgive people’s sins; maybe it was a con by ancient priest to get people to give them meat? But without doubt, Jesus knew God and Heaven and is God’s gift to humanity; He taught us how God wants us to live which is different than all other religions; He was murdered by Jewish and Roman authorities and rose from the dead to continue teaching; He went back to Heaven and will return soon. Somehow because of Jesus (sacrifice), to be forgiven of sins now and be able to enter God’s Kingdom, all we must do (no matter what religion we were born into) is ask Jesus sincerely and obey Him, the Lord’s Shepherd, our Savior, and King of Kings. The date of His birth is unknown but we celebrate it on 25Dec so Merry Christmas everybody.
Lysander
December 22, 2015 12:44 pm
In other news, members of the notorious “John The Baptist” cult were arrested after a brief struggle. The FBI and the BATFE surprised these suspected terrorists by a river and prevented them from drowning babies and small children in an act that was described by arresting officers as “unbelievably cruel and barbaric”.
President Obama has praised this action and declared that the United States Of America will never cease it’s war against these international terrorists. The President was quoted as saying that this great nation will not tolerate terrorists who hide behind a façade of religion and will deal with them as Mohammed (pbuh) Wills It.
@ Lysander… I thought about John, but wasn’t Elizabeth preggers with him at the same time Mary was pregnant?
However, I’m positive that once John started baptizing folks, the FDA or whomever is in charge of guarding against bacterial infections would rush in to prevent such a thing in a dirty river. I’m not familiar with what sort of inspections a baptismal fount at churches is subject to, but certainly John exposed countless converts to polio, parasites, and countless other water-born illnesses. Not to mention salmonella from the dead frogs and fish.
What were they thinking?
robert h siddell jr
December 22, 2015 2:07 pm
Seriously, I went to a Catholic Church with my wife and not knowing a Protestant wasn’t supposed to, went down and took a wafer and sip of wine from a common cup. Then I thought of the potential to spread germs and will never do that again (even if given special permission by the Pope).
bb
December 22, 2015 3:15 pm
RHS Jr , you don’t need to know the reason Dumb Ass.Just do what God tells you to do and believe when it comes to Christ.
Romans 10 : v 9-10
JFish
December 22, 2015 8:15 pm
RHS Jr – I read something one time that claimed something like this:
After the Fall – Adam & Eve knew they were naked – So God had to mandate the sacrifice of animals to clothe (and cover) them. And…, so they could enjoy a good steak now & then.
And maybe also to piss off PETA years later as an added bonus? 🙂
EL Caballo
December 22, 2015 9:20 pm
Jfish, One of the many repeating themes in the bible is the rejection of the older brother in favor of the younger. Abel made the first sacrifice of animals to God. Having been outdone, Cain decided to sacrifice his younger brother. The older son of God, Adam, is rejected and the second Adam, Jesus, is slain by his brothers. There are several stories with this theme, Jacob, Joseph, Peter..
Then we have the stories of the father impregnating the daughter, Lot, Judah..
bb
December 22, 2015 9:28 pm
El Coyote , that was a very good comment theologically speaking . bb
JFish
December 22, 2015 10:43 pm
El Christmas – funny how society never changes, ya know?
One thing that’s always fascinated me is how all of the younger biblical siblings always treated women with more respect.
Look at the descendants of Ishmael & Easu (who sold his birthright for a bowl of soup). Now, today, thier descendants make thier women walk around (like ghosts) with towels covering their faces.
No wonder why Rebeccah (& God) loved Jacob more.
Again – I am not a bible thumper, per se. Just find it all interesting – in an “open-minded” kind of way.
EL Caballo
December 22, 2015 11:45 pm
Blowfish, I don’t see the connection, while Esau was Issac’s favorite, Jacob had his mom’s tricky nature so that may be the reason she liked him better. Jacob married two women, he treated Rachel better than he did Leah.
Hey, bb!, just here hanging out with the noobs for now.
Maggie
December 23, 2015 1:16 am
Well, Jacob may have liked Rachel better, but in the end, Leah got her man.
Genesis is the Book of Sibling Rivalry.
The great lesson? Nobody will fuck you over worse than family.
Good night.
JFish
December 23, 2015 12:32 pm
EL Cookie
I see what you are sayin’.
I guess my main point was that it seems the God of the Bible did love and respect women like:
Mary (JC’s mom), Esther, both Deborahs, Ruth and Naomi, Mary Magdalene, etc, etc, etc.
In any case, compare to the Koran whose prophet was a pedofile and married a 9 year old girl, ya know?
That’s all I was sayin’…
Even still, I know there are exceptions.
JC was the eldest, but he said something about “casting the 1st stone, or something similar regarding the adulterous woman. So… that was nice.
Also – the ladies Jezebel and Delilah didn’t fare to well. The former became Alpo and the latter was absolutely floored with her ex-boyfrend brought the house down.
Fascinating stuff.
Maggie
December 23, 2015 1:55 pm
Martha gets a bad reputation for wanting her lazy sister to help her instead of groveling at the Lord’s feet. Jesus claimed Mary was doing exactly what she was supposed to do and that Martha was the one in the wrong.
Martha just knew that the Lord’s supper was not going to make itself.
And, when old Lazarus went and got himself dead, Martha was the one who sent for Jesus. She was listening. She could multi-task.
I taught a class on women in the Bible one time. Jfish, you left out Rachel. Do you realize how important Rachel, who weeps for her children, is in both the Old and New Testaments? My aunt, who is a Biblical scholar and mathematical whiz (and master quilter) once asked me to tell her why Rachel is still weeping for her children. That sent me on a Biblical research project of enormous magnitude.
My name Martha but I prefer Maggie
JFish
December 23, 2015 2:37 pm
Yeah, Maggie – I knew I was forgetting someone.
Too many too remember. I guess that was my point and why I said, etc, etc…
I am just glad TBP has Maggie, Bea, Suzanna, etc., etc.
Far superior the ladies in ISIS, ya know?
JFish
December 23, 2015 2:39 pm
Than the ISIS, ladies, I mean.
Maggie
December 23, 2015 2:58 pm
EC is going to be telling you BEA ain’t no lady soon. LOL, but BEA don’t care because Bea likes being in good company.
This is obviously a message from God. What about the Three Kings who followed the star so they could hand the poor babe’s mother some gold, frankincense and myrrh? Were the import taxes paid on those precious gifts? And, by the way, was the gold in coinage or just lumps found in the desert?
What about the little Drummer boy? Did he REALLY have permission to play the hit single “Rumpapumpum” or was it a copyright infringement?
These are questions the official newstory doesn’t address, Stucky. Inquiring minds want to know.
This just became my desktop wallpaper. Cracked me the fuck up!
On page 2 I bet there is another article (written by Michael Shermer’s ancestor) on how the Star of Bethlehem was merely an optical illusion due to excessive atmospheric CO2 caused by sheep flatulence.
I don’t get why animals (and Jesus) had to be killed for God to forgive people’s sins; maybe it was a con by ancient priest to get people to give them meat? But without doubt, Jesus knew God and Heaven and is God’s gift to humanity; He taught us how God wants us to live which is different than all other religions; He was murdered by Jewish and Roman authorities and rose from the dead to continue teaching; He went back to Heaven and will return soon. Somehow because of Jesus (sacrifice), to be forgiven of sins now and be able to enter God’s Kingdom, all we must do (no matter what religion we were born into) is ask Jesus sincerely and obey Him, the Lord’s Shepherd, our Savior, and King of Kings. The date of His birth is unknown but we celebrate it on 25Dec so Merry Christmas everybody.
In other news, members of the notorious “John The Baptist” cult were arrested after a brief struggle. The FBI and the BATFE surprised these suspected terrorists by a river and prevented them from drowning babies and small children in an act that was described by arresting officers as “unbelievably cruel and barbaric”.
President Obama has praised this action and declared that the United States Of America will never cease it’s war against these international terrorists. The President was quoted as saying that this great nation will not tolerate terrorists who hide behind a façade of religion and will deal with them as Mohammed (pbuh) Wills It.
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/428771/christian-colleges-religious-freedom
@ Lysander… I thought about John, but wasn’t Elizabeth preggers with him at the same time Mary was pregnant?
However, I’m positive that once John started baptizing folks, the FDA or whomever is in charge of guarding against bacterial infections would rush in to prevent such a thing in a dirty river. I’m not familiar with what sort of inspections a baptismal fount at churches is subject to, but certainly John exposed countless converts to polio, parasites, and countless other water-born illnesses. Not to mention salmonella from the dead frogs and fish.
What were they thinking?
Seriously, I went to a Catholic Church with my wife and not knowing a Protestant wasn’t supposed to, went down and took a wafer and sip of wine from a common cup. Then I thought of the potential to spread germs and will never do that again (even if given special permission by the Pope).
RHS Jr , you don’t need to know the reason Dumb Ass.Just do what God tells you to do and believe when it comes to Christ.
Romans 10 : v 9-10
RHS Jr – I read something one time that claimed something like this:
After the Fall – Adam & Eve knew they were naked – So God had to mandate the sacrifice of animals to clothe (and cover) them. And…, so they could enjoy a good steak now & then.
And maybe also to piss off PETA years later as an added bonus? 🙂
Jfish, One of the many repeating themes in the bible is the rejection of the older brother in favor of the younger. Abel made the first sacrifice of animals to God. Having been outdone, Cain decided to sacrifice his younger brother. The older son of God, Adam, is rejected and the second Adam, Jesus, is slain by his brothers. There are several stories with this theme, Jacob, Joseph, Peter..
Then we have the stories of the father impregnating the daughter, Lot, Judah..
El Coyote , that was a very good comment theologically speaking . bb
El Christmas – funny how society never changes, ya know?
One thing that’s always fascinated me is how all of the younger biblical siblings always treated women with more respect.
Look at the descendants of Ishmael & Easu (who sold his birthright for a bowl of soup). Now, today, thier descendants make thier women walk around (like ghosts) with towels covering their faces.
No wonder why Rebeccah (& God) loved Jacob more.
Again – I am not a bible thumper, per se. Just find it all interesting – in an “open-minded” kind of way.
Blowfish, I don’t see the connection, while Esau was Issac’s favorite, Jacob had his mom’s tricky nature so that may be the reason she liked him better. Jacob married two women, he treated Rachel better than he did Leah.
Hey, bb!, just here hanging out with the noobs for now.
Well, Jacob may have liked Rachel better, but in the end, Leah got her man.
Genesis is the Book of Sibling Rivalry.
The great lesson? Nobody will fuck you over worse than family.
Good night.
EL Cookie
I see what you are sayin’.
I guess my main point was that it seems the God of the Bible did love and respect women like:
Mary (JC’s mom), Esther, both Deborahs, Ruth and Naomi, Mary Magdalene, etc, etc, etc.
In any case, compare to the Koran whose prophet was a pedofile and married a 9 year old girl, ya know?
That’s all I was sayin’…
Even still, I know there are exceptions.
JC was the eldest, but he said something about “casting the 1st stone, or something similar regarding the adulterous woman. So… that was nice.
Also – the ladies Jezebel and Delilah didn’t fare to well. The former became Alpo and the latter was absolutely floored with her ex-boyfrend brought the house down.
Fascinating stuff.
Martha gets a bad reputation for wanting her lazy sister to help her instead of groveling at the Lord’s feet. Jesus claimed Mary was doing exactly what she was supposed to do and that Martha was the one in the wrong.
Martha just knew that the Lord’s supper was not going to make itself.
And, when old Lazarus went and got himself dead, Martha was the one who sent for Jesus. She was listening. She could multi-task.
I taught a class on women in the Bible one time. Jfish, you left out Rachel. Do you realize how important Rachel, who weeps for her children, is in both the Old and New Testaments? My aunt, who is a Biblical scholar and mathematical whiz (and master quilter) once asked me to tell her why Rachel is still weeping for her children. That sent me on a Biblical research project of enormous magnitude.
My name Martha but I prefer Maggie
Yeah, Maggie – I knew I was forgetting someone.
Too many too remember. I guess that was my point and why I said, etc, etc…
I am just glad TBP has Maggie, Bea, Suzanna, etc., etc.
Far superior the ladies in ISIS, ya know?
Than the ISIS, ladies, I mean.
EC is going to be telling you BEA ain’t no lady soon. LOL, but BEA don’t care because Bea likes being in good company.