WAL-MART FREAKS OF THE WEEK

You definitely bought that shirt in the infant department and I don’t even want to hear an argument otherwise.

I have a feeling neither of you really have any real authority.

Welcome to America’s new game that I honestly never thought would exist – “Is It Hair or A Hat?”

I think this lady is starting her own 1-person rave in the middle of Walmart. Or maybe she is reffing an imaginary sporting even that only she can see? I don’t know and I’m not sure if I want to find out.

You know what, I think the kids are all set for Easter this year. You’re services are not needed. No, I insist it’s fine, kids don’t even like candy anymore, please just leave.

Sometimes nothing needs to be said…

Dressing for spring shouldn’t be this difficult. It looks like you are doing the walk of shame in the winter while wearing some random dude’s tightey whiteys.

Check out Mad Max: Lonely Road. Seriously dude, you must be huffing way too much of that silver dust if you think you’ll pull any tail in that ride.

Who has a long term goal to grow their hair into the “dead driftwood” look?

The lesser known hero, especially among the female fan base, I introduce SuperVirgin. Although the way Hollywood is going he’ll have a movie by next year so who has the last laugh now?

I don’t know where “Walmart bathroom floor” ranks on my list of places to nap because it’s so far down on my list I’d be dead by the time I reached it.

Maybe instead of treating it like a crime scene and waiting for your forensic team to show up, you could just pick the shit up and get it out of the aisle. Just a thought.

We’ve got the battle of the bulge in this gut check edition of Who Wears It Better: Belly Busters!!! I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going with tattoo girl. Not only is a nice accent piece to your gut a classy touch, but sweatpants tucked into boots just sets it over the top for me.

For more freaks see People of Wal-Mart