I Did Not Have Sucks With That Vermin

 Guest Post by Stilton Jarlsberg

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, zika virus, mosquitoes, prevention, money, clinton

First things first: this is an appalling joke and Bill “Money Shot” Clinton should be thoroughly ashamed of himself for making us think of such a horrible gag. Oops- Now we’ve used “gag” in a sentence involving Bill Clinton. We’d claim it was unintentional, but you might find that hard to swallow.

Sadly and truthfully, the Zika virus is terribly serious, and the heightened risk of giving birth to a child who will suffer the lifelong physical and development consequences of microcephaly is nightmarish. It is no laughing matter.

Which is why, for the umpteenth time, Hope n’ Change is sorry (but not surprised) to see Washington making a complete mess out of preparations to fight this potentially deadly invasion.

Yesterday, votes were being taken to decide how much money to allocate to this crisis. Barack Obama wanted the most, of course, saying $2 billion was required to prevent the blood-sucking parasites coming across our southern border from wreaking destruction. The $2 billion would presumably be used to put the young mosquitoes in good schools, settle their families in middle class neighborhoods, and give the grown mosquitoes some walking around money until they can find permanent blood-sucking jobs in government.

The Senate, on the other hand, seemed likely to authorize only $1.1 billion to fight the mosquitoes. Which, to us, sounds like it could do the job if the government is frugal enough to go to Costco and buy a few million spray cans of “Off!”

The House is even more reluctant to approve funds unless matching cuts can be made, although cuts tend to draw mosquitoes. And occasionally sharks.

Tea Party types such as ourselves are pointing out that Obama already paid for about $800 billion worth of shovels for his imaginary “shovel ready jobs” program – we say, pass ’em out and let people start whacking each other over the noggin whenever they see a mosquito land. Especially if they land on a Progressive who still thinks DDT is a bad idea.

But for now, let’s accept two facts: this is a real danger, and the government is going to screw up anything like a meaningful response. Meaning it’s up to us to be aware of things like this:

  • Always use insect repellants containing DEET.
  • Eliminate all sources of standing water, such as birdbaths, flower pots and any containers that could be overturned and filled with rainwater.
  • Keep rain gutters cleaned out to prevent water from standing in drains.
  • Cut back or get rid of unnecessary vegetation around your home where mosquitoes can breed and rest.
  • Keep swimming pools covered in colder months to prevent mosquitoes from laying their eggs there, and drain any water that has collected on top of pool covers.
  • Remove water from tree holes and hollow stumps.
  • Keep windows and doors screened to prevent mosquitoes from getting inside your home.
  • Consider using yellow light bulbs in outdoor light fixtures, as they reduce the number of flying insects around your home.
  • Do not, under any circumstances, allow the mosquitoes to vote in November without presenting ID.
Imagine how much better this would work with a government shovel!

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7 Comments
Anonymous
Anonymous
May 19, 2016 10:23 am

Mosquito born diseases are easily controlled with DDT.

Gator
Gator
May 19, 2016 10:44 am

This zika thing is a bunch of nonsense. As has been pointed out in numerous places, they have been trying the GMO mosquito thing in Brazil for years now and surprise surprise now we have this horrible virus spreading everywhere that hardly anyone has ever heard of. Now it’s a household name. Now we are supposed to trust them, and allow them to pay billions of our tax dollars to a company to breed and release a bunch of franken-skeeters into the wild and hopentheyctake care of the problem. Also, they will be comig up with a vaccine that will no doubt join the ever growing list of toxic poisons we are told we must inject our children with shortly after birth. Another prediction, like those kids who get vaccinated for measles and still get sick once exposed (Harvard) the zika one will work no better. Also, I wonder if the encephalitis can be caused by exposure to a laundry list of pesticides like the ones Brazil saturated their land with at a record and growing pace?

Rest assured, this is a bunch of nonsense.

Rife
Rife
May 19, 2016 10:54 am

“Truthfully” Zika has only been LINKED to microcephaly. “Linked” is a very careful choice of words.
Goodluck with your DEET and other chemicals – you must be up o all your recommended vaccines as well.
The lesson from DDT was, after the dust (no pun intended) settled, mosquito populations increased or doubled and they became resistant to the chemical.
Read “The Hundred Year Lie”

Jimmy Torpedo
Jimmy Torpedo
May 19, 2016 7:39 pm

My understanding is that the microcephaly is caused by the chemical which is supposed to control mosquito populations through causing birth defects in the mosquito larvae. Poorly formed larvae which do not develop into adult mosquitos.
DDT did work and still does work, but like all government action, a work of fiction called The Silent Spring, caused an uproar and subsequently, DDT was banned because it supposedly made the shells of falcon eggs too thin.
Everything is a lie. Life is so much easier now that EVERYTHING is a lie. Back in the good ol’ days you had to actually try and sift through the lies and the truth.

Sorel
Sorel
May 19, 2016 11:24 pm

What a joke. When the Zika “crisis” started earlier this year there were some rather salient points that I did not hear offered up by the WHO or the CDC that seemed Germaine to this topic. First of all Zika has been around for decades causing little more than flu like symptoms. Why would it now, all of a sudden, be causing microencepahly? There were hundreds of mothers with babies being born w small heads but only something like 14 of them were tested positive for Zika. Oh and let’s just ignore the fact that there is a larvacide put in the water there that is known to cause birth defects, the government mandated DTaP (diphtheria tetanus and whooping cough) vaccine for pregnant women ironically about 10 months before these babies started being born (and there have been ZERO studies done on whether this vaccine is safe to use during pregnancy), Zika was being found in other countries like Guatamela but there was no microencepahly showing up there, we have thousands of cases of microencepahly annually in the US but no Zika, and other MUCH more likely candidates for what might be causing this or to dispute the link. How stupid does the CDC think we are? Actually we are stupid that we keep falling for the BS that the CDC propagates out to us. What a joke.