The cat was given a verbal warning….Yeah like that is going to work.
Now that’s funny!
Gloriously Deplorable Paul
May 2, 2017 6:47 pm
Heard a comedian say he loved his cats but didn’t trust them. He thought if they ever figured out how to work the can opener he was a dead man.
BL
May 2, 2017 7:53 pm
2000 years ago the Egyptians revered cats as they believed that cats could see beings from other dimensions that humans are unable to see. I think that feline in the video KNOWS something, maybe we should pay attention. 🙂
EL Coyote
May 2, 2017 10:18 pm
Coyote and his wife showed up at the farmer’s house. They had been invited for dinner.
The farmer and his wife had 3 children, the oldest was a boy of 14. They sat at the wood table.
Coyote helped himself to a portion of the meatloaf from the large tray. Whether it was cooked or not was debatable. It definitely was cold.
The farmer was silent or very quiet. Coyote decided to tell a funny story to break the ice.
It seems my wife tried some food that was very good at the fair. She remarked on this at a party and it turned out that her friend’s child had made it.
The farmer’s son was not amused. That’s a fake story, it was online.
Coyote tried to calm him down, whether it is true or not, it is my version.
The boy ran out of the dining room.
Coyote’s wife tried to breach the silence with a gift she had for the farmer. It was a flat box with paper flowers standing up straight in it. Stiff, plastic stems held up the colorful paper flowers.
Oh, look, Marcus, said the farmer’s wife, and you don’t like flowers.
Well, my husband likes seeds, said Coyote’s wife defensively.
You like seeds? asked the farmer.
Coyote was confused. I like all sorts of things, seeds also. He stammered.
He stood up.
They were all standing in an instant. The visit was over.
As they all headed towards the door, Coyote felt awkward at the prospect of thanking Hardscrabble Farmer. What’s your name, I forgot, he explained.
The farmer’s wife said, it was on the invitation.
Marcus? Ventured Coyote.
Tinshon, said the farmer in a quiet voice.
Tension? Asked Coyote, holding the small farmer’s soft boneless hand.
Tinshon, said the farmer once more, looking away.
This is a type of story that goes from bad to worse.
The main character arrives, obviously late. The food is cold, the hosts are cold. He ungraciously serves himself without waiting. He praises another’s food and doesn’t mention the meatloaf. He gets into an argument with the host’s son. His wife brings an inappropriate dime-store gift. He forgets his host’s name and talks down to him.
If you have never had one of those encounters, good for you. You’re probably a people person. I think Coyote dreaded the dinner and unconsciously messed it up, he was unprepared to make small talk, he didn’t research his host or find an appropriate gift. People would classify him as an asshole.
BL
May 2, 2017 10:29 pm
EC- Urban dictionary? What?
EL Coyote
May 3, 2017 12:36 am
Sugar drop mid-sleep will cause the wildest of dreams.
Alcohol withdrawal is real. Alcohol vendors take advantage of this with ads that have subliminal messages of weird figures.
When I quit, the body was used to the alcohol carbs, I went thru hell having nightmares for a few months.
I’ve wondered a few times if Job didn’t have diabetes.
“If I say, ‘My bed will comfort me, My couch will ease my complaint,’ Then You frighten me with dreams And terrify me by visions; So that my soul would choose suffocation, Death rather than my pains.…
You have never read, I have never written while drunk, I’m sure because I don’t drink. And believe me, if I was drinking, the last thing I would want to do is spend it here.
I read somewhere that all the characters in a dream are manifestations of your own psyche. It took me a while but I got it. (Yohimbo is not the only one able to read an analogy, let me tell you.)
I bought some seeds. I caught a severe cold and only got over it last week after like a month. That is the significance of the ‘cold’ meatloaf. The farmer is my desire to plant the seeds but it’s late. He asks if I like seeds because that’s all I will have. My wife has paper flowers which she offers as a consolation. The farmer’s wife says he doesn’t like fake flowers. I wonder who I owe for the meal, the farmer says I should pay Tinshon, pay attention.
A nation of children.
A nation of dumbfucks.
A nation of pussies and NONE with a real assault rifle.
Thanks, Maggie. Few people are aware of the saying: pussy kills.
This seems like as good a spot as any for this story with a happy ending.
The cat was given a verbal warning….Yeah like that is going to work.
Now that’s funny!
Heard a comedian say he loved his cats but didn’t trust them. He thought if they ever figured out how to work the can opener he was a dead man.
2000 years ago the Egyptians revered cats as they believed that cats could see beings from other dimensions that humans are unable to see. I think that feline in the video KNOWS something, maybe we should pay attention. 🙂
Coyote and his wife showed up at the farmer’s house. They had been invited for dinner.
The farmer and his wife had 3 children, the oldest was a boy of 14. They sat at the wood table.
Coyote helped himself to a portion of the meatloaf from the large tray. Whether it was cooked or not was debatable. It definitely was cold.
The farmer was silent or very quiet. Coyote decided to tell a funny story to break the ice.
It seems my wife tried some food that was very good at the fair. She remarked on this at a party and it turned out that her friend’s child had made it.
The farmer’s son was not amused. That’s a fake story, it was online.
Coyote tried to calm him down, whether it is true or not, it is my version.
The boy ran out of the dining room.
Coyote’s wife tried to breach the silence with a gift she had for the farmer. It was a flat box with paper flowers standing up straight in it. Stiff, plastic stems held up the colorful paper flowers.
Oh, look, Marcus, said the farmer’s wife, and you don’t like flowers.
Well, my husband likes seeds, said Coyote’s wife defensively.
You like seeds? asked the farmer.
Coyote was confused. I like all sorts of things, seeds also. He stammered.
He stood up.
They were all standing in an instant. The visit was over.
As they all headed towards the door, Coyote felt awkward at the prospect of thanking Hardscrabble Farmer. What’s your name, I forgot, he explained.
The farmer’s wife said, it was on the invitation.
Marcus? Ventured Coyote.
Tinshon, said the farmer in a quiet voice.
Tension? Asked Coyote, holding the small farmer’s soft boneless hand.
Tinshon, said the farmer once more, looking away.
This is a type of story that goes from bad to worse.
The main character arrives, obviously late. The food is cold, the hosts are cold. He ungraciously serves himself without waiting. He praises another’s food and doesn’t mention the meatloaf. He gets into an argument with the host’s son. His wife brings an inappropriate dime-store gift. He forgets his host’s name and talks down to him.
If you have never had one of those encounters, good for you. You’re probably a people person. I think Coyote dreaded the dinner and unconsciously messed it up, he was unprepared to make small talk, he didn’t research his host or find an appropriate gift. People would classify him as an asshole.
EC- Urban dictionary? What?
Sugar drop mid-sleep will cause the wildest of dreams.
Alcohol withdrawal is real. Alcohol vendors take advantage of this with ads that have subliminal messages of weird figures.
When I quit, the body was used to the alcohol carbs, I went thru hell having nightmares for a few months.
I’ve wondered a few times if Job didn’t have diabetes.
“If I say, ‘My bed will comfort me, My couch will ease my complaint,’ Then You frighten me with dreams And terrify me by visions; So that my soul would choose suffocation, Death rather than my pains.…
Have a drink, EC. You might make better sense.
You have never read, I have never written while drunk, I’m sure because I don’t drink. And believe me, if I was drinking, the last thing I would want to do is spend it here.
E.C, I’m sorry, I don’t know where you’re coming from. What are you trying to tell us?
Vickie,
Your true to the legend of Southern ladies.
I read somewhere that all the characters in a dream are manifestations of your own psyche. It took me a while but I got it. (Yohimbo is not the only one able to read an analogy, let me tell you.)
I bought some seeds. I caught a severe cold and only got over it last week after like a month. That is the significance of the ‘cold’ meatloaf. The farmer is my desire to plant the seeds but it’s late. He asks if I like seeds because that’s all I will have. My wife has paper flowers which she offers as a consolation. The farmer’s wife says he doesn’t like fake flowers. I wonder who I owe for the meal, the farmer says I should pay Tinshon, pay attention.
EC- Have you been gathering peyote buttons out in the desert again, that shit will mess you up?
I bet that was a Persian Cat too. Terrorist!
Now THAT is funny!
See, your dog has a mental of 3 years old, and he loves to please you and get rewards. Your cat has a mental age of 40 and he’s tired of your shit.
Is this real? Warning a cat? Someone actually called about this?
We’re screwed!
do cops take acid trips in the US?
scary as shit. imagine yourself facing the same loonies at a road check