Hey there burning platformers! Long time no write!
It’s been a busy last seven years here on the farm. But since the farm is for sale and we didn’t put in a garden this year, I have a few extra minutes on my hands these days so I thought of Jimmy, Stuck, and the rest of the gang over here and thought, “what the hell, I’ll ask them what they think.”
Two months ago, We hired a realestate agent, Ken Garcia of the Keller-Williams bluegrass team realty. bluegrassteam.com
He promised to sell the farm fast as his marketing team is cutting edge and said he would have to create a market for our place as it is so unusual compared to others. Long story short, his running partner, Brad Simmons, is the videographer and creates all of the videos for him. Well, they made a nice video of our place except for where he farts on the tape only :17 seconds in. Watch and listen for yourself and voice your opinion in the comments section:
Ken is one of those guys that will do anything to shirk his responsibility. He blamed the noise on a road rumble strip. Problem is, there are no rumble strips on that particular section of the road. He lied instead of taking responsibility. So we kicked his ass to the curb and to retaliate, he took over our Zillow listing owners dashboard. Whatever. I expect childish pranks like that from them as they are proven unprofessionals.
This episode led me to start digging on Ken and Brad and boy I have uncovered an empire of lies. From shills and employees rating them on facebook, to Brad’s wife shilling for them on yelp and other places like whitepages.com
These two New Jersey fags are going to rue the day that they fucked with me. I don’t get mad, I get even.
Thanks for your time and it’s good to be back!
Watching the vid, property and home, superbly maintained, I figured it would be 15-20 Million.
Per youtube vid comments, the price is in the 700’s.
Awesome property.
This IS an auction property…not for negotiated sale.
Stevie Jacks, You are incorrect sir! It is my house, and it is not going to auction. I don’t know how you came to that conclusion but YOU ARE WRONG!
TY for the kind words koko the mostest deplorable! It took only 6 hours today to mow half of the grass! Most of it needs to be mowed again as the clippings are piling up, sigh.
I wanted to ask 1.5 to 1.8 mil, but the professional said that it wouldn’t sell for that much.
Is this article part of the ‘marketing strategy’?
It’ll come up in all search engines whenever someone searches fart+farm. Or “agricultural flatus”.
No it is not. I hadn’t thought about the marketing of it here as I was only interested in the BP peeps opinions on the fart.
But if you’re in the market, a lower price might be negotiated before we list it again with another agent.
And BTW, We paid up for the fart, as in they were going to get a 7% commision out of the deal. The reason told to us why they charge more than the others?
Their marketing!!! DOH!
Yes, nice place.
Why did you hire NJ people? Hire professionals who know the area for fucks sake.
Also, you’ve just scratched the surface of trickery in real estate sales. With all the regulation you would think a real estate transaction is transparent. Actually it is except for all the dealings between agents and agent vs. sellers/buyers. Read or do some research on Patrick.net.
Does Kentucky allow dual agency? Also, how long did they say you can expect this property to be on the market before it sells?
Wip, I sit corrected. The douche twins are FROM NJ ( Joe Piscopo routine plays on ) Brad has been in the area, if you can believe a word that spews out of his mouth, for almost 25 years. Kenny said he has been here for 6 years.
Realtors should only be hired who are familiar with the area and have personal recommendations from people you know. Good ones here in S.Arizona will sell your place in a few days…
Sorry guys. The money to buy that place isn’t local. But it’s a bargain to city folk. At the height of the boom (2005-ish?) I asked my cousin what acreage was going for in his area (Avon Park, Fl). His answer was, “Well, that depends on whether you’re from around here or not.” He was quietly buying up ranchland, all the listings were for 4 or 5 times what he was paying.
Yeah, I’m sure you’re right about that. This place would make a great doomstead.
Exactamundo starfucker!
We were Floridians buying the place from……
New Yorkers whom built it to flee the city after 9-11.
Our buyers will be from out of town as nobody around here can afford this place.
Shocking that nobody has brought this up over at the Youtube comments!
Morongobill, Someone did, in fact, mention it. The comment was along the lines of, ‘You ran over one them Kentucky barking spiders at the :17 mark.’
The comment had about 15 thumbs up before they deleted it. But not after Brad mentioned somthing stupid about snipes.
When the asshole clown posse removed the comment after we asked them to a dozen or more times, they, a 54 and 56 year old men, claimed to not know what a barking spider is.
Tampa , what is wrong with you ? Don’t sell .You will regret it .We could make a quick million just growing dope.Yes I will help you .I know all about it.
BB, OMG, GMTA!
Tampa – glad to see you! Was thinking about you just the other day.
Sorry re this issue. Why on earth would that asshat not dub the thing out? How hard could it have been. Totally unprofessional.
Beautiful set-up. Where to next?
Sic ’em.
Llpoh, good to see you too! Was thinking about you the otherday and if you need any prepper stuffs. Send me a message on ebay to user puckfackers and we’ll chat.
As far as not editing out the fart, you answered your own question. Unprofessionals.
TY for the compliments. It is a beautiful set up with only one way in and out. A chokepoint. We own the second highest peak in the county. Can take down threats long before they get close. Two dwellings, a pole barn, a 140 ft tobacco barn, cut trails throught the woods. Great place, a slice of heaven.
Where to now? Um, the Mrs. is homsteading in an HOA neighborhood south of Dayton Ohio. We’ve thrown in the towel on prepping. We’re getting too old to take care of this place. Well, maybe not too old, but I rolled my gator XUV going down the driveway in Nov. 2015 and broke my L-1 and 2 vert.. She broke her pelvis in Aug. 2014 while riding the zeroturn mower over some hidden tractor tire ruts. I’ll fight the blue helmets from my upstairs windows now and will probably DIP. Sobeit.
TG- Thanks for posting for all the guys here who thought Billy and I were overstating the beauty of KY. Yankees pay that price for a postage stamp in the middle of hell. Why so quiet for so long, I thought you had bought farm(LOL) not selling one?
BL, You, Billy, Llpoh and I can not possibly overstate the beauty that is Kentucky. I love this place and I was in Florida for over 40 years. Being a native New Yorker myself, I’m a yankee by birth, and a Southerner by choice. I wouldn’t trade this place srtaight up for Trump Tower in NYC. No fucking way. I retired when I was 39, but haven’t worked so hard as I have on the farm. Geodes. Geodes are prolific here and I cruise on down to the creek and collect them in a big pile in the barn. Every August, I pile them into the bed of the truck and on a utility trailer, and head south on U.S. 127 for the annual yard sale. In seven years, I’ve made over 25k selling them at $10 a pop. Easy money.
The beauty of Kentucky? Maybe some of it, but apparently you’ve never been to east KY, where trash and used diapers adorn the lower limbs of trees along the highway from when the last time time the crick ran high…
Hazard, KY is a backwards, inbred shithole.
Rdawg
Coal country is depressed, they can’t help their circumstance and Hazard is a small speck in beautiful state. Where did you say you live Ratty?
Rdawg, Perhaps that is all true. Which is why we specifically chose central Kentucky and in particular, the knobs region.
The ‘knobs’ of Kentucky are an horseshoe shaped string of mountains that stretches from the central Ohio valley and Ohio, down to where we are in almost the exact center of the bottom of the shoe, and continues on to the Indiana state line, again on the Ohio river.
The knobs are anywhere from 5 to 30 miles wide in some places. The geology is karst and caves are plentiful. We have a few on the property.
The big reason that eastern Kentucky is the way it is because Odildo likes weed and cocaine better than coal.
Gold are you related to TampaRed? Gotta say that the land lays much the same as where as I live.
That was quite the rumble! He is probably pissed off at you pointing it out because he was traumatized from whole incident. No doubt he touched cloth.
He says he will do the detailed research later. Yeah, after he gets to washroom, wipes his arse and changes his underpants. What an idiot this guy is. He says that this place has everything you need.
I would say it does. A real true piece of heaven. The Pella doors are a great feature!
But why would he leave that flatulence in video. Geeze a video editor he is not. Maybe while driving he saw a bear and got scared! Have any stray Polar Bears been spotted in area?
I have another question to add though.
Can one carry on a conversation and fart at same time?
Still a real nice place! Someone will snap it up quick. There has to be a doomsteader out there in need of a place with some flair and style. Make sure to point out the quality cabinets but assure that farts aren’t part of deal. Bears are extra and only available in season.
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And the best part is he ends video by saying he couldn’t help himself.
Well at least he is honest.
Well sort of……..
No connection RiNS,we’re different guys,though I bet he’s a helluva lot more gullible then I am.
Tell Stucky hello since we now know he’s probably rooming w/you.
lol
That is funny Red! Still I will pass on your regards to the Stuckmeister.
Cheers mein freund…
Yours in Odin,
RiNS
Tell Stuck that I said fuck you! And to get his sorry ass outa Jersey and here to Kentucky!
Tampa Read, so we meet. I like to intoduce myself by saying fuck you. Howboutdat?
I’m a lot more jaded than you think. You still living in Tampa, drinking the burning platform polluted aquifer water?
And I’m more gullible, um, ok! LMAO!
RiNS, Thanks for the wonderful comments. TampaRed whom?
To answer the question if one can fart and talk at the same time, the answer is yes, I have done it to cover said fart. The Vidieo star actually stopped talking, like it was squeezed out on purpose, no?
Exc llent comment as you are spot on. Touched cloth, lmfao!
Yeah he was working hard on that one. What I find most funny is he lets one rip then stews in the steamer with windows likely rolled up and A/C on for several minutes. Too funny! Anyways I am glad you liked the comment. I was just trying to make a funny. As for Red I couldn’t help myself. He fell for a bit I wrote a couple of months ago about Polar Bears in Nova Scotia and thought I’d take a bit of piss out of him.
Anyways reading Jim’s piece about being burnt out I can’t help but realize that I am feeling the same way these days. I am tapped-out out of outrage. I suppose it was inevitable. One can’t read the doom porn and not get just a bit jaded about the ongoing insanity. What has happened lately for me is that I have developed a fatalistic trench humour as a comfort before everyone is ordered over the top and into the maelstrom. I don’t comment as much because like Jim I feel I have run out of things to say. Then I saw your post about the fart question and thought it worthwhile to inject my two bits into the fray.
Gotta say your place is very nice. You shouldn’t have any trouble selling it though as you rightly point out it is much better for your agent to be flogging your home rather than finessing a fart.
Cheers
RiNS
p.s. If Stucky happens to read this I just have to say that we all miss ya Bud! Hope you are well and pray to Gawd that you can get back soon.
RiNS
Thanks for the follow on comment.
I figured Reds comment had somthing to do with somthing but since I’m not around much to know the nuances of the daily interactions, I piled on too!
Like Jimmy, you, and many others, I too feel as though I have run out of things to say about everything. Everything, in my mind, has been covered. Everything that needed to be said has been said. We kicked the satellite dish to the curb over six years ago so we don’t get our daily ‘programming’ anymore. I can not use the fake news places for fodder because we don’t have tv, nor will I give them views on you-tube. We’ve been red pilled for almost 20 years now and frankly, nothing surprises me anymore. People are capable of incredibly stupid things, farting for example, political hacks getting richer every year in office, etc..
Nothing more to do but to keep on enjoying the rest of our lives together. And We’re good with that.
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TG, I believe you can contact Zillow to regain control of your Zillow dashboard if you can prove ownership of the property.
IS, Thanks for the advice. The wife is in the process and we asked them to keep a log of IP addresses of people whom have accessed the dashboard. They said that they would.
If he didn’t shit himself in the video, I bet he will when he reads this!
Wow, nice place. Tampa is selling because he does not
want to mow lawns 7 days a week. We have a fraction
of the land, but the Mr. is 2 days on the rider, and one
day with the mower. It is true he could do it in 2 days…
If I was here alone, there would be more “natural gardens”
than there are now.
Who cares if he farted, at least he is human. But, the watch/
bracelet on the L arm is too showy. Not masculine.
He has to put on that air of prosperity and success for his clients.
The only air that guy is putting out is stanky air. Suzanna says, “at least he is human”, which leads me to ponder if droids/bots will fart to seem more humanlike? Hope so.
I want a bot that can dance a jig and fart “Dixie” at the same time.
Me to BL, LMAO!
Let’s hope that it won’t make any real estate videos.
Two days mowing? How much land you got?
I mowed 3 acres in 45 minutes with a zero turn. In two days I could mow 50 acres on that sucker. I am calling bullshit on needing 2 days. Plus with a zero turn and a properly laid out law you do not need a push mower.
llpoh, Yeah I used to haul ass on the mower, but the back pain limits my speed. I mow about 35 acres out of 160. That includes all the lawns, the garden drive, and all the trails that encircle and cut across the fields. It used to take the both of us 2 days to get it all done, now with just a limited me doing it, I prioritize differently than I used to. Sometimes, the field trails get skipped for weeks at a time. Having a lot of rain this summer has not helped out either. I get what I can done and don’t worry about it too much.
Tampa – that comment was to Suz. If you are mowing 35, that will take awhile. I pull a slasher behind a tractor, and can cut maybe 5 or 6 acres an hour.
Growing old, and injuries, sucks ass.
Right on, my bad. I sold the tractor and all the implements back in March so the finish mower is not an option. It used to kickass on the trails, though!
suzananananana, We are selling because we are broken. I can not do the mower for more than four hours or else I’ll be gobbling pain meds for three days. She can’t even ride anymore. Step son games all night long and wakes up around 5-ish every single day. Worthless for working the farm.
I fart, you fart, we all fart. There is a time and place for farting and on a video that you are making for clients to sell their home, that is not the time nor place to be farting, imho.
And as far as the gaudy watch thing, rumor has it that they are swingers. I’ve heard stories about them from many sources that would make your toes curl. And not in a good way.
TG – Do the outstanding members of the TBP get the local x4 reduction in price for this outstanding piece of blue grass property?
Today and Tomorrow only!
Tick Tock!
If you pre-qualify, we’ll write you into the new contract on Tuesday.
We’d like to give everyone a great discount, but like the OP’s have said previously, this place is a turn-key steal with options on equiptment and other things necessary for country living.
Should have said in the marketing “ahh, you can smell the derriere”.
I agree, but we must not condone the debauchery.
I’d like to thank all of the BP bretheren that took the time out of their weekend to watch the video, make comments about the fart, the house, the fucking grass!
Special shout out to Jimmy for the nod of approval for posting me up here. I haven’t written in a long time after saying yes that I would, after he migrated away from his douche parter back in the day. I can’t remember it’s name so we’ll just call him David Pierre’s gay lover instead. so thank you James!
And Stuckentucky…….WTF man, where are you? How’s the communal living going in that sweet ass house you showed us? Hope all is well.
Thanks again everyone for replying and assuring me that that was indeed a fart.
It is trivial to edit out 300 milliseconds of “unwanted sound” from a video.
Perhaps 421, but it is also ignorant not to when you know what you did.