Are you worried about getting pantsed in public? Fear not, we’ve got you covered with our new Xzibit line of pants within pants.
Sometimes when the lone wolf needs to recharge he’ll find a safe hole to burrow into and rest.
Who you gonna call? Literally anybody else? Yeah, that makes sense. Should have seen that coming actually.
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Hey buddy, while you’re down there taking a picture, you mind grabbing one of those razors and trimming me up a bit back there.
This is like one of those magic eye posters where if you stare at it long enough you’ll see a pair of pants.
We call these “Southern Oops” because it looks bad and you wonder how you can manage to screw something up like this, but if you live in the south you can definitely understand it.
This is what it looks like if you shave any mom’s head.
Hello Kitty? More like Hello Kiddie because that screams chomo van.
Not the hero we really want or need right now. In fact, I’m kinda over all the superheroes at this moment. Literally if you’ve ever been in a comic book ever you’ve got your own movie. Getting a tad ridiculous now.
Keystone Light? You’d think the Bengals jersey would be a dead giveaway of your poor taste, but I overlooked it. But hey, I guess if my team just extended Marvin Lewis for 2 more years I’d like to put myself in a nice cheap alcohol-induced coma too.
Honestly, it took me like 15 minutes on Google to figure out if he was just a weird dude or a famous rapper. It’s so tough to tell these days. Have you see guys like Post Malone and Action Bronson?
What areyou doing tonight? – “Nothing, probably just bummin’ around Walmart.”
See more freaks at People of Wal-Mart
I thought I would never, ever, find a reason mar my skin with a tattoo, but you found one for me. Yeppers. Still gonna think about it for a little while. Not sure if I want some diseased drug addict puncturing my skin numerous times with an electric needle that never gets cleaned. Maybe if my wife learns how to become a tattoo artist, but then, maybe she might turn into a drug addict, too.
Many ideas to mull before getting that first tattoo. Maybe I could go with a magic marker and a stencil to take the tattoo concept for a test drive, kinda like I did the heart and MOM inside on the back of my hand when I was in the military.
Professional tip: indelible ink lasts much longer than you might realize when you are drunk. Course, when I was drunk, all sort of weird stuff seemed possible.
Quantrell, just do it the prison way, wrap some thread around the needle tip, dip it in the ink and poke the outline of your pen drawing. Or just use a pen to make a temporary tat. How about using sharpies?
Sharpies. Yeah, might go with Sharpies. Go with several colors. Just want to test drive to see if I will enjoy freaking people with eyes on the back of my head.