Guest Post by Eric Peters
If you’re a fan of the rebooted Battlestar Galactica series, you will remember what made it possible for the Galactica to escape the Cylon attack which destroyed the rest of the fleet: The Galactica was oddly analog – oddly because it was after all, a spaceship and one capable of faster-than-light speed as well.
But it’s a TV show – and the premise/plot line is that while the evil Cylons were able to use a computer virus to disable the more modern ships in the fleet, they couldn’t hack Galactica, which still had hard-line phones, even – and thus the ship was able to “jump” out of their reach to live and fight another day.
This, obviously, is a perk of not being “connected.”
And, injected.
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My buddy Tim – who is a great mechanic, runs his own shop – mocks me relentlessly over my preference for carburetors. He points out how set-and-forget fuel injection is; that it self-adjusts for altitude and fuel quality/octane (not unimportant given the ethanol-soused “gas” that’s almost unavoidable unless you’re lucky enough to live within the orbit of a place where real gas s still sold) and that you never have to set a choke or deal with floats and accelerator pumps; that an injected engine starts quicker and warms up faster and almost never bogs or stumbles or stalls.
I won’ argue any of the above – because it would be idiotic to do so. Because Tim’s right about all of that.
Aber – as some of us sometimes say (those of us hiding from justice in the Argentine jungle) there is a defense to be made of the carburetor. It is the Battlestar Galactica defense.
When FI works, it works perfectly. The car starts, off you go – no warm-up wait; no off-idle stumble. No re-jetting to accommodate the ethanol or the altitude. Fewer moving parts, much less to adjust and maintain.
But when FI stops working, you are in the position of the other battlestars – the ones that didn’t get away from the attacking Cyclons. You are a sitting duck, stuck by the side of the road.
Waiting for a guy like Tim to show up with his truck. To tow your no-longer-operational battlestar back to his shop for repairs which you can’t do by the side of the road. Because – for the most part – EFI is not amenable to by-the-side-of-the-road service. It either works or it does not. And when not . . .
Cue the Cylons.
Carbs, on the other hand, have the virtue of being very agreeable to by-the-side-of-the-road fixing. They also rarely stop working outright. It’s usually something that’s out of adjustment – or something that got dirty or clogged, which can be dealt with by cleaning using a can of aerosol carburetor cleaner, easy-peasy and cheap, too).
Or it’s the fuel pump – which, being mechanical as opposed to the EFI system’s electrical pump – is also usually mounted on the engine, where it’s by-the-side-of-the-road accessible, as opposed to the EFI system’s in-the-tank (and forget by-the-road-accessible) pump.
The EFI fuel pump generally lasts a long time. But when it croaks, it usually does so without warning (it either works or it does not work; no in-between state – so no advance warning that a problem is coming your way) and because it’s in the tank, it’s generally necessary to drop the tank to change out the pump. This is generally not cheap – and neither is the pump itself, vs. the mechanical fuel pump, which generally costs about $40, depending on the car.
Also, you can rebuild a carburetor. You throw away bad fuel injectors and related electronic peripherals. Replace them with new parts.
A carb is immortal. If the metal hasn’t been warped by an inept geek with a strong arm and a weak brain, the soft parts – the gaskets and rubber parts – can all be replaced and once that is done, the carb is restored to as-new condition. This can be be done over and over.
Over a span of decades.
My ’75 Kawasaki and my ’76 Trans-Am both have the carbs they came with more than 40 years ago. They have been rebuilt a couple of times during that span of time, but the point is, they are still working today the same as they were more than 40 years ago – and they probably will be working just the same 40 years from now.
They are also immune to electrical glitches, software corruption, hackers and EMPs. They are purely mechanical devices, which can’t be fucked with remotely. They are under your control exclusively.
No “Cylons” to sweat!
Besides which, they just sound – and smell – better. The engine inhales atmosphere and fuel mixed by the vacuum vortex; hear the hiss of the abyss. That baleful bellow when the carb’s secondaries open up. And the scent of raw gas.
Inefficiency has its virtues, however un-PC.
EFI is like flat white ceiling paint. It’s all the same. The formerly unique sounds and scents which used to separate one car from another car, performance cars especially, have been sacrificed to the gods of homogeneity. The air may be cleaner and our cars may not stall out on us, but today’s injected cars have less character.
I’m with Adama. Not being plugged in can be a very good thing.
https://www.myclassicgarage.com/vehicles/84932/1973-chevrolet-vega-gt
I drove a 1972 Vega in high school, lemon yellow. I installed a Holly 4-barrel carburetor on the engine at one point. The car was a piece of crap, but I could get it to piece of crap top-speed in less than ten seconds after I put that carb on her.
I dated a farmer’s spoiled son who liked to rebuild (and race and wreck) Mopars. Road Runners and Chargers and Barricudas. Oh My. Eventually the Vega ended up in the stock car races with a 350 out of an old Camaro.
What is this drivel?
Before EFI, quality, well-engineered cars used mechanical fuel injection. No electronics whatsoever. It’s not as precise as EFI nor can it compensate as well, but it’s better than a carburetor in every way and no more complicated. Also less stuff to break. Its failure to be adopted by the Detroit “big 3” is just another example of how badly out of touch they were in the 60’s and 70’s. It’s all over European cars from the same era, including moderately priced models.
How many people does he think can even change their own flat tire let alone do a roadside repair of a mechanical system of ANY kind? We are far down the road of specialization. It’s a long way down.
True. I could probably still rebuild and replace that carburetor on that Vega, with a decent set of wrenches, a screwdriver for leverage against the block and maybe a ratchet and socket with extension.
However, when I open the hood on my Jeep Cherokee I am not sure what I see there.
Even if you had a care with a carb, I doubt you’re doing roadside repairs on it. If you are, kudos, but how many people can/could? US labor is too specialized.
The elders among us still remember. Some of us can walk and chew gum at the same time! And some of us still remember how to:
sharpen the blades on a bush hog, and how it connects to the tractor
how to run a whole new 11o VAC circuit, from the breaker box to the outlet in the wall
how to sweat-solder copper pipe
how to build a small prefab metal outbuilding / shed (OK, it took all four of us, but mainly for the labor to hold something up in place while someone else screws it together)
how to assemble IKEA furniture
how to install insulation underneath the floor in the crawl space
how to swap out a water heater
how to put in a ceiling in a kitchen
how to repair lath-and-plaster walls and ceilings
how to lay brick
and lots more. Carbs were what I learned on; not sure if Autozone even has those points-plugs-and-condenser kits anymore, but if I had one (and I still have a set of taper gauges) I could do it.
Anyone remember what Babbitt metal is, and why it’s useful?
Like I said…kudos. But it seems like Eric is advocating everyone buy a carbureted car.
Bearings. Rod and mains.
I probably could assemble IKEA furniture, but since I’ve never seen any, or anyplace that sells it, I don’t think it’ll come up.
All the rest I can do. Just went through the carbs on my ’78 GS550; the ’82 CB900F is next.
Babbitt metal. Yes!
And finding/setting TDC with the ammeter.
And then tickling the carburetors before you kick it over.
Or, if it’s painted green, a squirt of gas(in cold weather) in the compression release taps before you swing the flywheel.
Not Lorena Babbitt’s knife.
I still have an old babbitt pouring kit with dams and cores for the block. The rods were an easier pour. The kit also has the long bars for boring, although it’s a squeeze on an old V8 flat head block.
Getting out old valve seats and making the ground angles on the seats can be a real bitch compared to bearings.
if you own a carb model then you most definitely will LEARN to do the repairs and how it works simply due to the fact that it does need occasional adjustment. the fact that you most likely have never used one, rebuilt one or have any idea of how one works would seem pretty evident from your statement. People get lazy and IGNORANT as technology allows for it; computers do all the work and you are not required to understand anything. An old model (especially from the 70s) REQUIRES its owner to know a bit of something.
That’s my point actually. Plus more and more labor is specialized. No-one I know changes their own oil let alone works on their own cars. ESPECIALLY on the side of the road.
New cars now a days are so goofy. You open the hood, and what do you see? A second hood hiding the engine! They really don’t want you working on your own car, even checking the oil.
McLarens don’t have an opening engine bay. They don’t want you in there.
Wait until one of you tries to rebuild an automobile carb again. You cant buy the good carb cleaner for rebuilds as the chemical is nasty and not “safe”. Mades phosgene when exposed to water. Tough getting a carb clean enough these days. I would still rather have a carb though.
Use a soda blaster.
Very efficient fast and clean. There are small cheap units easily found.
Best part is they can be used for other parts, not just carburetors.
There are three problems in our society that I see, in ascending order.
1. Yes, specialization is a problem.
2. Bigger problem is that most younger people don’t know how to do anything, they have never tried to learn. They will learn when the system collapses and the choice is to learn or die. Even middle aged folk like me need to learn new crafts. I use a computer but do not know how to load an operating system or replace parts. Plan to learn soon.
3. The biggest problem is over-complexity. Takes special diagnostic equipment and specialized training to fix almost anything. Aaaand, while the old stuff was made to be repaired, most stuff now is made to throw away and replace.
A most poignant comment.
I agree with your three points, but I am torn between number 2 and number 3 being the bigger issue.
I would probably revise #2 a bit and show why the lack of curiosity regarding the mechanics of things is the greater problem in a world requiring special diagnostic equipment for any kind of repair. The specialization and over-complexity of the machines that make their world run smoothly was all part of the evil agenda of those in power. Because, now we have to look to a pack of Millennial Heroes to try to create order from Crisis and NONE of them knows how to fix any kind of vehicle, including bicycle and hardly any of them can write a complete sentence without using some sort of abbreviation related to texting and social media.
They have been indoctrinated to just throw things away and replace them. Perhaps replace humanity with AI will be the natural choice for our brainiacs.
I’ve been meaning to buy a good old fashioned hand saw and a hand operated drill, among other similar things. The li-ion battery pack and even the old corded stuff is worthless when the power goes out.
Should an EMP or any numerous TEOTWAWKI events occur what’s the backup plan?
The list of possible events is too long not to have fail safe tools somewhere in the garage. They’re cheap now and priceless in the future.
“…I’ve been meaning to buy a good old fashioned hand saw and a hand operated drill, among other similar things…”
Be sure and get both a rip saw and a finer-tooth crosscut saw.
Also a keyhole saw and a coping saw with extra blades.
Don’t forget a hacksaw with extra blades too.
A hand drill and a brace drill are also useful. The hand drill looks like a hand mixer, but with a drill bit end.
The brace drill has a U-Shaped form to it and can produce a lot more torque for drilling into hard wood or for use with larger drill bits.
Of course a full assortment of wrenches, socket-sets, screwdrivers, etc.
And don’t forget the baling wire and duct tape. They have a thousand uses.
WD40 is great for lubrication and is also very good at cleaning the sap and gum off of your tools – knives too.
Ahh, the memories of my Vega. A 74 with a 4 sp. It ran like a scalded cat and got 35 mpg. Every Monday my auto mechanics instructor would have me bring it in to the shop and check my timing. What a dick he was. After class, in the parking lot, I would pop the hood and crank that distributor back to where it needed to be. I knew by the sound where to put it. I loved that car. Seriously. The only thing I disliked was that formed aluminum air cleaner. That thing was about 15 bucks then while I was making about 3 or 4 bucks per hour. Back to the story, I just replaced the fuel pump in my truck. Now I need to replace the metal in the bed. What a freaking joke.
35 mpg back then? Sweet.
Most people today wouldn’t know how to use a set of jumper cables even if they had them in their trunk.
Here’s a good tutorial from one of my favorite websites if you are interested.
Good idea to share it with everyone in your family…
how to jump your car is located in the users manual, which is probably in your glove box … it generally also includes basic things like changing out bulbs. But hey, why would you read the owners manual for a 20k plus purchase.
I have 2 daughters. Both of them were required to FULLY demonstrate how to change a tire, check their oil and use jumper cables before I gave them their first cars.
Mine were required and learned to drive manual transmissions as well.
My daughter once told me the best thing I ever did, was get her a car with a stick.
Nobody in college ever asked to borrow her car.
No pier pressure, she said.
It used to be common to just buy a rebuilt carburetor, fuel pump, starting motor, etc at the auto parts store, and get a trade-in credit on your old part. Changing them out on your car was like a rite of becoming a man.
I don’t know if that industry is even in business any more.
I still use Western Electric hard-wired phones at home and I have thousands of EMP resistant vacuum tubes. I need them for my 1960 Heathkit short-wave radio and all of my other 1950’s and 1960’s vintage electronic equipment.
We probably don’t want to talk about my old percolator coffee pots that I use every day.
It may seem odd to some people, but my stuff usually works and I can fix it myself when it doesn’t.
I love coffee percolators and thought I was the only one to use one. I’ve had all kinds of automatic drip brew pots including the expensive Bunn (I’ve had several and they evolved into plastic, too cold coffee junk) and each one had a different problem that kept it from making good coffee. I think the only reason people stopped using percolators was because it can take up to a half hour for an electric one to brew a pot of coffee. Anyhow I reverted back and use a big Mirro “Party Percolator” and it makes coffee like you used to get in an old time bar and grill or small town greasy spoon.
I don’t have any old time wall wired rotary phones but there are sure lots of old time sewing machines around here. I’ve got several restoration hobbies and sewing machines is one of them; I’m about the only guy here in town who knows how to refurbish a sewing machine. I’ve got a 100 pound British Singer out in the garage made 18 days before Pearl Harbor and when I recently rebuilt it I could still get parts for it. It seems that 1965 was the transition year. Just about every sewing machine made after 1965 is junk and has been or is about to be junked, and impossible to source parts for, while for nearly everything made before 1965 it’s still easy to get the parts and to repair it. As long as the Japanese copied Singer they could build a good sewing machine, but once they put Singer out of business they came up with their own designs and they went to hell pretty fast.
Nowadays very few machines of any kind are built to last and it’s very hard to service and rebuild much of anything. No one stocks parts anymore.
Greetings,
I have an antique electronics workshop. I couldn’t tell you exactly how many vacuum tubes I have or boxes of transformers, chokes, wire wound resistors and tens of thousands of specialized capacitors in my hoard. I can build a radio, pre-amplifier, amplifier and God knows what else.
I may as well walk around in a wizard’s cape and hat as strange as it all appears to the younger crowd. I’m like the Blacksmith at Pioneer Village with all those funny tools and using those archaic funny words.
When I use terms such as bobbin cases, vibrating shuttles, C.B. shuttle hooks, bird beak shuttle hooks, drop feed dogs, vibrating pressers, lifting pressers, alternating pressers, walking foot pressers, compound feed, needle feed, and finally unison feed I get lots of “huh?” I usually say all of it are things they don’t make in America anymore and they were things invented to keep you from walking around naked exposed to the elements.
Most young people are of the mentality that if they plug it in and find out it doesn’t work itself, that’s when they get all shook up and bewildered. Many were never taught anything useful involving the mechanics of high civilization, and it’s a shame.
it’s funny but understandable when these kids don’t recognize these things we take for granted–
my favorite was one a couple of years ago that made me feel old–
my brother runs the shop at a marine sales/repair operation on the other side of town-
one day i had to be on that side of town so i stopped by to see if he wanted to go get lunch–when i was leaving,one of the trailer mechanics,a kid about 21yo,walked with me out to my truck–
he looked down into the bed & asked,” what the heck is that?”
it was a bumper jack–has it really been that long since we quit using them?
I own a 1953 JD pop-n-john tractor, a 1966 Intl 444 tractor, a 1975 El Camino, a 1970 GMC and they all have original carbs on them. No computers, no frills other than AC and the parts for all of them are insanely cheap. Some just don’t need parts except every decade or two. Hell, the JD tractor will run on anything remotely resembling gasoline – just adjust that updraft carb mix screw until it lights off. I really do OWN them, not leased or financed.
New things being “better” is a purely subjective judgement, but has a lot to do with how old a thing is and how robustly it was built.
IMO, if you cannot or do not want to get your hands dirty, then stick with the throwaway models. It’s your money, and if you make lots and want to throw it at replacing things instead of repairing them – go for it. I hate being at the mercy of mechanics, towing companies, parts houses and one-of-a-kind OEM parts.
I just bought my 3rd Honda Rancher (from a guy who said it was “broke”) for $500. I drained the old gas out of the carb, replaced the plug, put in a new battery and it does just fine. I drove up next to him on his brand new Arctic Cat, and asked, “How much?”
“I got a deal on it for only $7400!”
I just smiled and rode back down the hill…
It’s a free country still, so you guys with all that free cash, you just keep unloading your “busted” junk on me, ok?
Amen, brother!
Certain online ads are full of “don’t run/don’t run right” motorcycles for little money, and on the older ones, it’s generally the carbs. One reason I own 6 bikes, at the moment. Only a couple I won’t part with; the rest are negotiable.
I picked up a $60 Harbor Freight, i.e., Chinese, ultrasonic cleaner awhile back, and it’s a marvel. Much better than spray cans of carb cleaner.
Quadrajets forever!
67 F250 (my dad’s since new) 390-4v/Cruise-O-Matic/4.10 Dana 60 and 83 F250 (mine since new) 6.9L diesel/4 spd- I won’t part with either of them as long as I draw breath.
By the way, speaking of cars… anyone remember Tawny Kitaen?
https://www.vevo.com/watch/whitesnake/here-i-go-again/USGF19813803