NEW YORK, NY—Despite withering criticism of The New York Times’ recent decision to hire famed Communist leader and murderer of millions Joseph Stalin to the newspaper’s editorial board, The Times has defended Stalin and the move to allow him a platform to voice his far-left policies.
Upon the announcement of Stalin’s hire, thousands of readers pointed out that Stalin was responsible for the deaths of up to 25 million people. But on Thursday, The Times released a statement saying that editors were aware of Stalin’s sordid past before hiring him, and that it would not be bowing to “right-wing outrage” over “just a few million deaths.”
“His nationality as a Russian and his identity as a Communist have made him the target of much online harassment,” The Times wrote. “For a period of time, he responded to criticism by lashing out, fighting fire with fire by executing dissenters and implementing policies that sent countless people to their deaths. He now sees this only fueled the rage against him and was not entirely appropriate.”
The Times also wrote that Stalin has promised not to continue to kill people while he is employed by the paper. “He is an important part of the voice of our organization,” they wrote.
“Via Babylon Bee”
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Thanks for clarifying it is satire. No one would have figured that out.
can’t be too careful on TBP; I’ve seen many run wild with easily disprovable nonsense.
Joseph Stalin has been dead for almost 70 years. Really? Get a fucking sense of humor and get the stick out of your ass.
“Joseph Stalin has been dead for almost 70 years”
so! there are folks out there in America who believe JFK and Elvis are alive. “It’s all part of the Clinton Conspiracy”, lol.
My sense of humor is what keeps me going in times like these, but we have to be aware of those who will not get the joke and will circulate this as news.
I declare you Chief Inspector for TBP Satire. Stay vigilant.
Jim Morrison is also still alive Marsh!
Make sure you keep an eye out for any Onion articles, so you can act as the satire police of TBP and let everyone know it’s not really true. What a service you provide to us all.
Soviet military companies and regiments infamously had in addition to regular officers zampolit, or (by the older name) political commissars. The position was as “a supervisory officer responsible for the political education (ideology) and organization of the unit they [were] assigned to.” Tom Clancy to the cheer of his readers has the captain of a defecting Soviet submarine kill the annoying zampolit in The Hunt for Red October. Every company of any size now has a Diversity officer, or very soon will have one, who herself is in charge of a corps of HR apparatchiks. Just as, I’m sure, ordinary soldiers and sailors would have dreaded being sent to a zampolit for a corrective session, ordinary employees fear being “sent to HR” over a diversity or -ism complaint.
I have no idea why a poster attempting to clarify an article as being satirical should be the object of such contempt and venom. There have been plenty of posts on various articles that demonstrate certain readers’ difficulty with discerning reality.
The piece itself was clever and deserves recognition. BTW, somehow my comment is ascribed to Anonymous, when in fact I am Dawolf. Please do not eviscerate Anon if you wish to disagree with me!
News Flash: The New York Times has just announced that they fired Joseph Stalin. It just came out that he killed all of the homosexuals in the Soviet Union, and he also said that it was his policy that there would be no GLBT people (perverts) allowed to live in Soviet society.