WORLD—Scientists have issued a dire warning: the current number of Democratic presidential candidates is simply unsustainable.
“No one ever thought this many people would run for president,” said climate scientist Dr. Raymond Hall, “and the planet just can’t take it. We’re talking each of them eating up resources vying for airtime, printing stickers with trite slogans, and flying from Iowa to New Hampshire. If they were actually all to be in one place for a debate, it would be an ecological disaster.”
Scientists recommend the current Democratic field be reduced to less than half the current number or we could see an increase in hurricanes, droughts, kaiju, and “other climate change things.” As for what to do with the excess candidates, researcher Jeannie Perry said, “As always, I’d recommend firing them into space. Barring that, someone should just sit down with them and explain to them that no one is ever going to vote for them and hope that keeps them from running around consuming resources in a futile effort for presidential power.”
Scientists also have recommendations for the average citizen so they can help. First off, they say to never ever say anything even slightly encouraging to a politician, as they always take that as an impetus to run for president. They also say under no circumstances should anyone give money to a candidate, because that only fuels their destructive behavior. Added Dr. Hall, “It would literally be nicer to the planet to dump a barrel of nuclear waste into the ocean.”
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In today’s NY Post was this full page ad (those aren’t cheap) sponsored by “teenage Voice 2019”.
It’s a bunch of quotes from teenagers all over the world …. who are afraid global warming will destroy earth in their lifetimes.
God help us all.
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As Michael Jackson was fond of saying:
Here in Germany an Europe, we got the Fridays for future (666) school strikes.
I know a guy, who really believes this has been started by that girl by being first demonstrating.
This abuse of goodwill in young people is off the charts.
Press is full: https://www.heise.de/tp/news/Schulstreiks-Internationale-Aktionstage-geplant-4398939.html
I scanned the comments below that article, it gave me some trust in humanity back.
BREAKING: Eagerly Awaited Plan to Reduce Number Of Democratic Presidential Candidates Unveiled
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I just figured it out (call me a slow learner; I am) after learning that the Butt Fucker from Indiana is now in the growing army of Democratic Presidential Candidates: they couldn’t care less about getting elected-by simply running they feel they will be allowed onto Easy Street. Sort of like climbing that last rung on the ladder and finding you are one of the few who have found Nirvana as a high official of the Free Shit Army.