California School System To Feature Mandatory 2nd Grade Field Trips To Gay Bars

Via The Babylon Bee

SACRAMENTO, CA—Calling the measure a “major breakthrough” for the state’s education system, Governor Gavin Newsom signed into law Friday a bill that mandates field trips to gay bars, strip clubs, and abortion clinics for the state’s second graders.

“It’s important that our kids receive a comprehensive education,” Newsom said in a ceremony marking the bill’s signing. “For too long, kids in our elementary schools today have not had a fully interactive LGBTQ+ experience. Sure, they can go to their local library and have a drag queen read them a story, or they can dress in drag themselves and go dance at gay bars as we applaud their actions. But it’s not enough.”

“That all ends today with the signing of the Gay Bar Field Trip Equality Act. Now, we can be assured that our state’s kids will be fully immersed in alternative lifestyle education,” he said proudly.

Kids will be taken to a local gay bar and given a free beer. They will be free to ask any questions about the LGBT lifestyle, as long as they don’t condemn it. Some lucky students may even be selected to work at the bar. “This isn’t creepy, trust me,” Newsom said.

Governor Newsom continued to assure parents, however, that California public schools are unbiased institutions and that the kids are not being brainwashed to accept the LGBT agenda.

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18 Comments
motley
motley
June 29, 2019 5:19 pm

WHY ….. are you giving ‘them’ ideas ????

Joe
Joe
June 29, 2019 6:00 pm

With drag queen story hour at the Public Library, can this really be that far behind?

Jack Lovett
Jack Lovett
June 29, 2019 6:08 pm

Sicko dems/libs/joos death to all.

Anonymous
Anonymous
June 29, 2019 6:09 pm

Straight up child abuse. Wonder if “the supremes” understood what they were setting loose when they allowed “gay marriage.”

Pequiste
Pequiste
June 29, 2019 6:56 pm

How about adding compulsory field trips to San Fransicko or L.A. (maybe even Fresno) to not only view humans shooting drugs and shitting in the street during school hours but also, to ensure a comprehensive and immersive experience for the youngsters, by having them take a dump in broad daylight at a busy intersection in the city visited.

Wealthy kids can opt for Nob Hill or Pacific Heights in S.F. and what little rich brat wouldn’t savor the opportunity to unload a massive #2 on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills or on their most (un)favourite star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame?

Trip reports will be unnecessary as the whole experience will be fully video documented, real time, by smart phones, I phones, and Apple phones with instantaneous dispersion around the globe on via a host of social media.

I can envision it now: an enterprising tech whiz kid from Silicon Valley accomplishes a start up of a new social media company that specializes in such field trips. The snappy name chosen for the I.P.O. – “Shitter.”

Gov Newsom could then invite all of California’s elected officials, himself included, to provide true leadership and accompany a busload of kids on a trip and especially to “drop-trou” and execute their own “brown bomb run” on the street, road, drive, bouelevard or corniche of their choice in their constituency.

Big JiLm
Big JiLm
June 29, 2019 8:16 pm

They should also take them to Skid Row in LA & the Tenderloin in Frisco to learn how to jump over piles and piles of human feces, witness thousands of drug addicts actually dropping their post injection syringes, and the grand finale is Newsom instructing them how to put another mans penis in his mouth. That’s the ticket!!!

Zerofag
Zerofag
June 29, 2019 9:22 pm

Hey little kids, want some gayness in your anus? We’re from the government, we’re here to help you.

MrLiberty
MrLiberty
June 29, 2019 10:53 pm

Sometimes the Babylon Bee and the Onion are too accurate in their parodies. Californian lawmakers are just depraved enough to do such a thing, and parents are just worthless enough to go along with it.

Anonymous
Anonymous
June 30, 2019 9:32 am

You fuckers would believe anything.

e.d. ott
e.d. ott
  Anonymous
June 30, 2019 11:32 am

Simply because the degenerates seem to have little to no social or moral obligation to control themselves, hence the suspicion. First it was equality based on human rights, now it’s blatant, overt perversion that has to be accepted as normal lifestyle.
Whoever is doing the captioning for the Babylon Bee has a very sharp observational wit. Like the Progs the gay lobby and their pedophile friends don’t have any idea when enough is enough.
If they push too hard, they’ll find out how thin the tolerance limit is for their brand of social sickness.

noBabel
noBabel
June 30, 2019 9:58 am

I wouldn’t put it past them. Population overshoot. Gotta reduce the population to a billion globally before Nature does it for us. This is one way to go about population control I guess. Indoctrinate kids of the masses to be degenerates so that only the elites will continue their genetic lines. Imagine how broken these kids will be, thus how degenerate, by the time they come of age. None of them will want to have children. Less competition for those with kids raised in the old traditions. A little lonely though as there will be few in the masses with whom our kids have anything in common. Until the dieoff that is.

Anonymous
Anonymous
  noBabel
June 30, 2019 11:57 am

The lowest socioeconomic classes have the highest birthrates, and it’s unlikely that will change.

Pizzled
Pizzled
June 30, 2019 1:30 pm

This is amusing satire almost worthy of Mark Twain, maybe how he would write if he had been born into the sanitarium of today’s state of California USSA. Unfortunately not even Twain’s wit could keep the madness of his time in check, and this type of article will just provide us with a brief moment of entertainment.

22winmag - Trump is a psyop and Q is lead actor
22winmag - Trump is a psyop and Q is lead actor
  Pizzled
June 30, 2019 6:22 pm

Beware! Twain was a spy, among other things.

http://mileswmathis.com/twain.pdf

Pizzled
Pizzled

You reference the biggest conman on the internet, Miles W Mathis? A half-baked, failed artist who is adept at preying on the unthinking, unwashed masses by applying artificiant strawmen that a 6th grader of a century ago would rip apart in the blink of an eye? One step back from a flat earther? Don’t let him deprive you of the great things of the world, such as Mark Twain’s literature.

John
John
June 30, 2019 4:20 pm

interesting parody. there is no bill number to verify what some will call fake news. john

TampaRed
TampaRed
  John
June 30, 2019 9:37 pm

if you believe it,it will come true,re check that list of bills in a couple of weeks–

7cedars
7cedars
June 30, 2019 11:10 pm

Why not do something productive, take them to the nearest highest level of offender prison, take them to a shack where druggies shoot up…maybe they’ll actually learn something then…and be afraid…VERY AFRAID!

Why these BOZOS in California allow this mess is beyond me…