WW #1: Do any TBPer’s currently have a homeless person in their family tree?
WW #2: Could you as a parent “Let him/her go”?
My sister called me last night to update me on the heartbreaking series of dramas concerning one of her daughters. The call came close to when I normally go to sleep. I could not sleep at all. I felt the same way I felt when my daughter (I wrote about her car accident on 495…”In the blink of an eye”) totaled her car and almost died 5 different ways. I had a nightmare last night as I did the night of Xmas Eve 2017.
My niece is a beautiful 30ish woman with 4 children. She is a straight up junkie and now living on the streets of Baltimore. Yep, Killmore, Murderland. If my sister cannot convince her to check into 1 of the clinics she has found for her, I believe she will be dead soon. My sister (a little background) and her brother were adopted by my parents. I have always looked up to both of them even though they are both practically destitute and living by the grace of others. My sister was like a mother when I was young.
She was the one who always made sure I was dressed correctly for church and to this day calls me her favorite brother. My adopted brother saved me many times from bullies and I will never forget that. I recently hired a moving company to take him and his things to a disabled senior center in WV. where he will be taken care of for the next 30(?) years thanks to you…the taxpayer. I am only mentioning these things to show how I could care for them the way I do.
When my sister called, she said her, my niece’s father (my sister has 3 girls fathered by 3 different men of 3 different nationalities. Black (the homeless one), Spanish and the oldest is Korean.) and one of my niece’s sons (15 years old) were going to go to Baltimore to roam the streets looking for her. She is homeless now because everyone has given up on her. Her boyfriend (drug dealer, father to one of her sons and convicted murderer) beat her up, threw her down the stairs of his row house and out into area of Baltimore that could make Admin’s 30 Blocks of Squalor proud.
2 days ago, an acquaintance called my sister to tell her my niece had been attacked by some drug dealers because they were not paid. How did they attack her? They doused her with gasoline and threatened to burn her. My sister told me that if she, her baby daddy and my niece’s son cannot convince her this last time to get help, she will have to “Let her go”. Those were the words my sister used. I am writing this to find some kind of release. In the same way I did the night my daughter almost died.
I hate to hear this, but is becoming a reality for many families. Having had issues with substance abuse in my past, I can tell you that ultimately it’s your niece’s decision whether or not she wants help. It’s binary. Either she does or she doesn’t.
If she doesn’t, your sister should let God take care of her. Nothing your sister says will change her mind. I would just encourage you to pray for your niece and your sister. Maybe God can intervene and touch her soul and convince her to get help. I’ll be praying for y’all too!
You know substance abuse is a trick subject. The focus is solely on the substance itself when the truth is there is an underlying cause which in turn triggers one to substance abuse in the first place. No substance is addictive alone by itself. It is almost always preceded by some form of mental problem that came before the substance.
In my niece’s case, I assume it is because of her upbringing. My sister hasn’t been anything close to a good mother.
Wip
it is also a brain disorder, and if you are not an addict, you can’t simplify it like that, yes, underlying causes push people to medicate, but, there is also a gene people inherit that makes them susceptible to addiction. If you don’t have this gene, you might be able to dabble and not get hooked, but for others, it is like a one time exposure, and they are stuck in this endless loop.
Some people can pull themselves out of the loop and get on meds (suboxone) but others need to be dragged by their loved ones, or at least attempted to drag them into an enviornment that allows them to live a normal life, that will mean getting off street drugs and onto pharmacuticls to control cravings, but, it is possible, I know, I am proof.
good luck with your neice Wip, let her know she is loved, and that there is a future that she can have if she wants to escape the hell she is now in.
I just want to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and advice.
ALSO, I want to mention that GCP has made a beautiful offer to call my niece and offer her Godly insight if/when I can contact her. I am very thankful for that.
So where are her children? How old are they?
You might not be able to save the niece but somebody has to rescue her children.
Her boyfriend, the murderer, has custody of one of her children since he is the father. The 15 yo is in the custody of my sister and the other 2 are in the custody of a past boyfriend. He has legal custody through the court system. He is currently undergoing chemotherapy for Hairy(?) Cell Leukemia. Hairy Cell Leukemia has no cure and survival is 5 years. No, the story does not get better.
Jeez that’s terrible, what a mess.
What are you thinking to do? Her kids have been doled out under custody orders so there’s not much you can do there. Your niece is missing and in a life threatening position.
Sadly there may not be anything you can [legally] do to save any of them. Terrible position to be in. Have you hatched any ideas to intervene? Don’t give up.
In AA they talk about tough love, meaning that sometimes (often) you have to let the person suffer the consequences of their actions. Sometimes the person never gets sober, no matter how many interventions and that is a great tragedy and sorrow.
I witnesses some city detox clinics. There were lots of ‘wet brains’ who had destroyed themselves to the point where all they could do was sit in diapers in a wheelchair and drool. The counselor told me that they’d had lots of opportunity to get clean and never seemed to grasp the opportunities. As they say, alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful. Ditto for drugs.
Help the kids, if and where you can….they need it. Ditto for other family members….Let go of the addict, or…as they say….Let Go and Let God.
My other sister (full blood) is a godly person and said she would take my niece in. My mother is advising her not too. I agree since she has 3 sons of her own and should protect them at all costs. One of the more shocking think I’m having a hard time with is when my sister said she will have to let go of her. I’ve been thinking of my own girls, my granddaughter and my on-the-way grandson. I cannot imagine how hard it would be to “Let go”.
The ‘let go’ comes from teaching people to stop being enablers. The classic enabler will always bail the addict out of jail, pay their bills, etc. and never let the addict feel the consequences of their actions. Until the addict suffers consequences of the drinking and drugging they really have no need to stop. Pain and suffering on a personal and physical basis can often cause an addict to think about what they’re doing and look for help.
I had a friend who had been a drunk, a wino living under the bridge kind of drunk. His mother and sister were wealthy and always bailed him out, gave him money and were the classic enablers. Then one day they went to Al Anon, got some tough love and when he ended up in jail they didn’t bail him out. They let him suffer and the suffering got to the point where he was hurting so bad he joined AA and quit drinking. That was over thirty years ago.
Sometimes the addict never gets clean, that is the great tragedy however, you cannot blame yourself for their actions. Many addicts are suicides of the slow kind.
I smoked cigarettes for years, couldn’t seem to quit and then one day I got a whopping bad case of bronchitis. So bad I was in the hospital for four days doing respiratory treatment and so on. Before I went into the hospital I was sitting on the bed, attempting to catch my breath, feeling like I was being suffocated. I left the hospital and haven’t touched a cigarette since. Took that kind of pain, fear and misery to get me to quit.
My Girl has the best advice I have seen here. My wife’s family is full of people who were addicted and some who most likely still are. Our experience, and this is born out over several generations, is to state your principles, stand by those principles, and offer to be there when each person is ready to accept those principles. It may never happen that they make it back, that is true, but most of the people I know who have had problems like the ones that you describe are not helped by people who understand. They are not helped by people who are enablers. They are not helped by people who bail them out or offer them refuge.
A good friend went through a life living rough and it wasn’t until he spent three years sleeping in parks that he realized that it was on him to clean his own self up. He did it through the salvation army, but that route isn’t the only one. It isn’t the help that gets them through. It is their own spirit that drives them to lead a clean life. You can only lead by example. And I know that works because I have seen it.
It’s a hard road for you, but letting go allows the addict to fall to the place where they themselves will heal. Just like My Girl said with her cigarettes.
“Many addicts are suicides of the slow kind.” it’s a shame, but it’s a fact. When I read the intro to your piece WIP, I thought to myself, depends if drugs are involved. The problem with junkies, is that they bring it all with them. Everything you are trying to save her from, suddenly has a home in your house. Protect you and yours. It’s heartless, no question, but it’s sanity.
I was extremely addicted to cigarettes for 30+ years and then at the ripe old age of 46, I had a mild heart attack. Best thing that ever happened to me. Kind of a warning shot across the old bow. Haven’t had one in over 20 years. But, if my doctor told me I only had a few months to live I would leave his office and head straight to the store to get a couple of cartons. That’s how addictive the stuff is.
I was a pack-a-day smoker for many years also. I quit when my wife and i got together. She had 2 little girls (3 and 7) and there was no way in hell i was ever going to let them see me smoke or smell it on me. So, I quit. Best decision ever. Worst decision ever? Picking up the habit.
for my brother and myself , ” letting Go” ment realizing we are not god , and we cannot change people who do not want to change. It is hard to understand if you have not ween it .
I don’t think advice is needed at this point only prayers and concerns for you and your family.
FWIW, I raised my daughter as a single parent through her teen age years; Her rebelliousness was epic and although I loved her, she had to make her own way until she began to see where she was making bad decisions. It was a painful time in my life and things were iffy for many months until she got in trouble with the law and was hit with a good dose of reality that caused her to reconnect to my home.
The pain I experienced was the uncertainty of her future, the helplessness I had in not being able to change the situation and anger towards those who would take advantage of her.
Prayer allowed me to do something constructive and gave me the hope I needed to be ready to offer her a new start, if she could change her path. I couldn’t let her go, but had to detach to be prepared to deal with a not so good outcome.
Your niece is in a bad place and my heart goes out to her and to you and your family. Draw your strength in your support of your brother and sister, receive your niece if she is given a chance to try to start over and don’t let the anger within you overcome the love you have for her and your family; may the Lord keep all of you in His compassionate embrace.
Donkey,
I will just mirror Not Sure’s wise opening line:
“I don’t think advice is needed at this point only prayers and concerns for you and your family.”
I will add you and your family to my prayers…I’m not just flapping my lips. Will get on my knees after typing this.
Have been through something similar with, my wife’s younger sister by six years, pretty, vivacious, who was married to a great successful guy, plus they had two beautiful kids. They both became drug addicts 20 years ago. Their nightmare went on and on and on and on.
Lost jobs, lost house, divorce, arrests, jail, poverty…on and on and on, he got clean and re-married…she stayed dirty, lost the kids, lived hand to mouth, moved from man to man, hit up everyone in the family (including me) until there was no more hits to be had.
She now looks like my wife’s older sister.
Thank you Mark.
If you have never seen this, it might be worth reading and sharing.
There is a lot of research about “addiction” but not enough about the “addictive voice.”
Rational Recovery worked for me and it works for other people who can silence that addictive voice.
I am thankful I am one who can.
http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=36
http://rational.org/index.php?id=155
Prayer works.
It’s what you do with what you ask for.
There is a lot going on there, brother. My Dad had two siblings who were emotionally unstable and became indigent. No way in Hell would he or his other siblings allow them to be homeless. It caused duress within the family, but everyone pulled together and contributed in keeping them housed, fed and clothed.
But it reads as if your sister and brother are also in dire straits. They need to tackle their own weaknesses before they can lend a hand to someone lingering in the abyss. A strong, agile hand is needed, otherwise they will all drown. I wish you fortitude, faith and future good fortune.
My grandfather abandoned his wife and a passel of kids during the Great Depression. She managed to keep them all alive and fed all on her own. He died homeless long before I was born. Would I have helped him if I could have? Not bloody likely.
We have a niece who was homeless for a while on the streets of the big city. Alcoholic. Her kids were being taken care of by others, so she was alone. Spouse and I didn’t know about it at the time or we probably would have taken her in. Since then she has gotten into a program, gotten sober, and gotten her life together. If we had taken her in I doubt that would have happened. So, in spite of what she went through then she is better off now for not having the help. Do I still feel guilty about not helping her when she needed it? You betcha.
So, they searched for her all night. They found her in the ghettos of Baltimore. My mother got on the phone with her and convinced her to go to a clinic. The problem is, they will release her when she is no longer a danger to herself. I assume that is a soon as she has come off whatever drugs she is on.
All adults are ultimately responsible for themselves. Is she saved? What she needs RIGHT NOW is to hear that Jesus Christ died for people just like her.
Romans 5:8 KJB… “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
This world is bat-shit crazy and some people just can’t handle it. Get the gospel of grace to her by any means necessary before it’s too late. I’ll speak with her if you wish.
GCP, you just brought tears to my eyes and that ain’t no lie.
Email and cell number 2 clicks away. Leave a message, I will get back.
Tough road to hoe. My good neighbors have been raising their grandaughter for 2 years as their deadbeat mom dropped her off and says here ya go. Last week they get a mail from the court that she wants her back, so sad. (welfare money no doubt). Only for the money apparently. Fuck the child, right? Well the welfare bitch visited last week and guess what. Shes 8 weeks pregnant. I feel so sorry for my neighbors, but fuck that fucking shit. I guess if it is family it is so much harder to do. But fuck that. Get in the rice paddy bitch.
There are far too many shitbird white women in NH enabled by welfare… like fucking pigeons receiving crumbs on the sidewalk.
Help them all detox by putting them to work in the mines and rice paddies (in my dream world).
row to hoe…
Yeah, but it’s even harder to hoe a road 🙂
I know this is a bit weird but children are being neurologically destroyed by the combination of industrial foods plus cultural , electronic propaganda. This is the result. Help the children who are resistant and independent enough to resist, but unfortunately, some can’t be rescued.
It’s the harsh reality. Yet, I see video clips of babies holding IPADS and IPHONES and the parents and such think it’s cute. They are truly Clueless.
First, keep you sister and her entourage the fuck out of Killmore. They are not capable of negotiating with troglodites that view human immolation as a negotiation technique. Next, I would paper the area with $5K reward posters for the healthy release of your niece at a very public place during daylight hours. Lastly, get your niece the fuck out of Killmore. You need to remove the enabling factors that Killmore provides.
WW #1: No
WW#2: Fuck. You have to put your mask on first, then your dependents.
Wip, I feel for you, as I’ve known lots of people with substance problems. While growing up there were extended family members who had major substance abuse problems. All of it was on my mother’s side of the family. I had a great uncle who was a wino. I had both an uncle and aunt who were raging alcoholics, but they went to AA and went on to live good lives. My only brother got into dope while in high school, and died in a car wreck at the ripe old age of 19. One cousin died of an OD, and his sister still dabbles in dope. Another cousin is still a druggie and has been for 40 years. His sister was a doper for years and ultimately the health problems caused by that cut her life short.
As the Ohio Valley is Ground Zero for drug abuse, everyone here has friends who have lost family. We have a Dying Off going on here right now. My best friend lost his only son to an OD, and right now his niece with 3 children is a raging heroin addict, and it’s affecting his elderly parents. Dope is everywhere around here, and there’s the crime goes with it. Within eyesight, I can point out two dealer households. One street over from me, they found a guy with the needle still stuck in his arm. He had been in that house dead for5 days. Right over the hill from where I live, I can see the house where a druggie was murdered this last winter. She was raped and stabbed 49 times. I can go on and on about it.
What ultimately matters is your own mental and financial health, as well as that of your own household. Your parents and in-laws are ranked right up there. Do what you can to help others, but when it starts to affect your immediate family, and those addicted will not change, then it’s time to cut the cords. Trust me, there’s not a thing you can do about it. Value and cherish the lives of those who have a positive effect on your own life, and offer aid to those you know will appreciate it. You do not have to feel any guilt at all for any of the others.
Coalclinker: OMG… what a preface to what is probably the best advice any of us can ever get.
“Value and cherish the lives of those who have a positive effect on your own life, and offer aid to those you know will appreciate it. You do not have to feel any guilt at all for any of the others.”
I almost feel as if that should be engraved somewhere.
Thank you…
I put up the rational recovery link and hope you forward it to someone it might help. It sounds like you know a crapload of ’em…
This link is to Recoveryism…
http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=92
Holy cow Coal, the stories you could tell.
Ultimately, I believe everyone here is correct. Lots of good advice from, what sounds like, those who know and have experienced. This is real tough. I don’t think there is anything I can do except pray and be the best example I can be to those around me.
🙂
The one lesson I have learned in life(one of the toughest)is you can shoot a horse in the head/drag it to water/but can’t make it drink,(yah,I know,a bit weird take).I have lost so many to addiction that grew up in mostly good homes/lives do not know what to think anymore.My best friend had a drinking issue/got to the point I had to let go/told those close to me he would die on my B-day,year and a half later though had no real contact for over a year,well,you know when he died.I have carried this stone(30+ years) and many others for years,and,you know what,fuck it!
I will till I drop help those I love who want help,but,have learned a very hard way many times some who do not want help will die.Those who try and fall,will pick em up and try again as long as they are willing to try,beyond that though,fuck it.
Sorry you and many others going thru this, realize I come across as a cold SOB,but,life will do that to one after enough trials and death,gonna live for meself and those who want to also live and perhaps get a few moments of joy.
I have no advice, no words of wisdom,I can only offer prayers that this situation resolves it self in the best possible way for ALL involved. Keep the faith, Donkey Bro.
nkit
This afternoon my screen name came up as TampaRed…WTF? I suppose because he is the closest TBPer to me geographically..IDK
Regarding your very personal situation, I have a family member who was affected by CRACK and the resources expended helping this person were/are MONUMENTAL. The jury is still out as to whether all these resources of mine would have been better spent on other life-sustaining projects.
Now, from another angle, this reminds me of something somebody (Dutch or Coal?) here said, and it think it was said out of the desperation that comes with the territory.
The commenter suggested lining up junkies and shooting them in a Civil War – civil unrest kind of situation.
I said replied with the following: that it was perhaps a battlefield necessity if they are giving your position away, or coming at you with a knife when you are sleeping.
But who will shoot all these junkies dead after summary trial?
Patriotic assholes who owned Sacker family stock and mutual funds and IRAs vested in Pharmaceuticals before everything crashed and burned?
If you can get her to a different place, out of the city , she will live longer. It won’t solve her problems , but I assume the streets are like they are here in Detroit . they are tough . I have a nephew in the same situation. my brother got him a place in KY and took him there . . he lured him with $ to “start over ” It didn’t work , but an addict in rural Ky lives better than they do here . sorry th hear about this . It’s not called an epidemic for nothing. I am convinced We lost the war on drugs.
Yeah, and the war on poverty and terrorism and everything else that we declare war on… nkit…admin get Josie on this problem please..
Yep,a lot of wars,and,all wars end with blood letting,perhaps the best we can do but really seems we could do better,hmmm..
Hi Wip, I was going to chime in last night but I was exhausted from dealing with my own daughter’s shitshow yesterday.
A year and a half ago she got a DUI. I could write an interesting story about that incident all by itself. Suffice it to say that mothers intuition had kicked in that evening and I called her at work where she had been an assistant manager/bar tender for a while. I rarely called her at work but as I said, intuition kicked in and I did. She gave me some bullshit story about why she was not home yet. She hadn’t lived with me for many years but I had called to check on my grandson and it was he who told me she wasn’t home yet. Something told me this was not going to end well. I called her again a couple hours later and she was still at the restaurant and I could tell she was drunk.
Now I live an hour away and I was not going to drive in there only to find she was gone. I told her to call an Uber and she got mad at me and hung up on me. I went to bed. Sure enough she got stopped on the way home and hauled off to jail. Leaving my grandson alone all night at the age of barely 13. He went to bed alone that night. Her dad lives 10 minutes away and it was he who bailed her out and took her home. Grandson sleeps like the dead and we decided not to wake him up in the middle of the night and take him down to the jail with his grandpa. Ever since then she has gotten worse. Not with the drinking or drugs. I can’t decide if she is using because she never ever seems high but she could be doing street Adderall. There is a story behind that I won’t go into because it would take too long but she was diagnosed as ADD and Oppositional/Defiant as a teenager and put on Adderall for a while. Anyway, she does not show any of they physical side effects of Meth use. Some days she seems to talk faster than normal but that is the only thing that seems abnormal as far as her physical appearance. Oh, she has lost about 20 lbs this year and is very thin. But her skin looks good, otherwise. There is much more I could say about her but I am trying not to turn this into a biography.
She never went to her last court date for the DUI so they had a warrant out for her. She got stopped and cited in another county last fall for driving on a suspended license. She missed that court date, too, so another warrant was issued in that county. So two days ago she was stopped again in the first county and while she blew clean, they hauled her ass off for the warrant. Her dad (my ex) rescued her again. I was unable to talk him out of it. Meanwhile, my grandson has been living with my ex ever since he got back from visiting his dad for the summer in NY. He comes to my house on weekends to give his grandpa time to himself for the weekend. She has not had a job all year after she was fired from her last bar tending job that she only held for a few weeks last spring. There is never any food in her house and her landlord has opened a case to have her evicted. This is the second time this year. Her dad has been keeping her afloat all year. She has protested about us taking him out of the house but I think she knows better than to call the cops on us so she mostly is cooperating with us. And yes, his dad is seriously considering filing for full custody but he lost an expensive custody battle against her when my grandson was 5 and he is gun shy. For him to win custody now, her dad would have to side with him against her and that will never happen. At least not at this time.
I think she was mis-diagnosed originally and I think I will tie all this together in an essay as soon as I can take a breath. My husband and I are in our first year as a micro-farm. I have too much going on at the moment to sit down and write an essay that flows well and is compelling so it will have to wait. And the shitshow is not over. It’s just beginning.
Will she become a homeless drug addict? That remains to be seen. But I do believe that much of the drug abuse you are seeing is tied to underlying mental issues.
To be continued…
Wow. My nearly-adult kid would stew in jail for a full week before I bailed him or her out, but that’s just me.
I’ve got my contempt hearing next month. I wonder what my 12 yr old boy will be like after this senseless 8 month separation and the toll X rated games like GTA5 have taken on him.
Donkey: You could help so much if she would only turn around. This is something God goes thru with every soul who is lost. The Church fathers & saints were very keen on “the fellowship of His sufferings” (ie Jesus).
Nobody talks about this nowadays; it’s not compatible with modern consumer religion. But it sounds like you’ve found some.
This doesn’t fix anything, but I hope it will help you bear it.
I’m seriously considering coming back to God. I’ve been away for a long time.
God answers prayers ♥
Yes, He does.
Don’t bite my finger.
Just look to where I’m pointing.
“Hello? Jesus calling.
Come away with me for awhile.
The world, with its nonstop demands, can be put on hold.
Most people put ME on hold, rationalizing that someday they will find time to focus on Me.
You live among people who glorify busy-ness.
They have made time a tyrant that controls their lives.
Even those who know me as Savior tend to march to the tempo of the world.
They have bought into the illusion that more is always better.
More meetings, programs, activities, or possessions.
I am not of this world.
I have called you to follow Me on a solitary path, making time alone with Me your highest priority and deepest joy.
It is a pathway largely unappreciated, and often despised.
However, you have chosen the better thing, which will never be taken from you.
Moreover, as you walk close to me, I can bless others through you.”
See:
Song of Songs, 2: 13
Luke- 10:42
from Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young
Here is what ‘powerless’ means in the AA or NA speech : Most longtime addicts and alcoholics have lost all free will, all rational thoughts about their future or their health. The addict can’t just choose to sober up, and even if they want to the physical dependence is too much. Drug & alcohol withdrawals can kill, no joke. You can be sure that a rational discussion won’t help, not ’til weeks after they’re sober. A hospital trip and signatures from 2 doctors is what it takes to get ’em committed to detox for a few weeks. It takes months of being sober for rational thought and free will to return.
Spot on! Powerless- been there, done that! Best thing that has ever happened to me!
Martin,
Every place that has taken her in has simply let her walk out within 24 hours. How do I get her committed?
I have been studying this a lot because my daughter does so many reckless things that scream self destruction but she never threatens to harm anyone or herself, you know, with a gun or knife or something. Without those specific types of threats they can’t keep someone locked up. It’s very frustrating for the family members. It makes me feel helpless.
Donkey…
Sorry I missed this. I just got home and saw the title and thought it was a fluff piece.
From the age of six till 34 I sold my soul for booze and drugs. I would steal a cap full of whiskey every chance I got to get that magic. At some point there was no more magic but I couldn’t or wouldn’t cope without it. It mattered not what I had to do to family or friends to get more. I’m keeping it brief here but I drank and drugged myself to a near permanent stage of wet brain. Took 5 years of hard physical therapy to regain most of my motoring ability and short term memory. I came within a whisker of murdering my mother in a drunken rage over her refusal to give me some drinking money. Others like perhaps your niece do these things passively as opposed to my violent style. The night of Feb. 14 1982 I could not go another day in the misery I had inflicted on myself. Until I hit that point nobody could help me except through prayer and tough love.
Since then I have seen countless others take the same path. Intervention does work at times but we have no way of knowing which time. Keep trying to get her detoxed and maybe this will be her time but don’t coddle her. That’s not love. Love is the hardest thing God has ever asked me to do. It’s also the only thing, but still being selfish I resist or get selective, but love I must.
Until an alky of druggy gets to the point of being willing to pray for help you are nothing but another stolen EBT card.
Flea, it is big of you to leave such a comment. Especially because of past words we have had for each other as well as your openness. Glad to hear you recovered and became a better person. Thanks.