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It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
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$200+ for a lift ticket, multiple hours long line……FAIL Resorts.
queue the fuck winter pic.
Ski areas on Mt. Hood in Oregon have solved this problem. Their parking lots get filled before 9 am so after driving 2 hours from Portland you don’t even get a chance to buy a lift ticket and stand in line.
dark cat must be from up north, eh?
Impeachment cat.
I tried splashing her just like this with my, uh, trunk right after this, and her reaction was somewhat different. Can anyone help me out with some bail money?
I would, buddy, but that damn exchange rate, eh?
You gotta harass the women in NYC, Bob- you don’t have to post bail there.
Sorry Bob, Miss Vicky said I should leave you there. My mom says she wouldn’t miss your trial for the world. And you said she didn’t care for you, smh.
Remember on our wedding day when the priest asked you, “Do you settle for Bob till the day you kill him?” I’m starting to wish you didn’t give an enthusiastic “Yes!”
You were so drunk that night we met, I didn’t think you’d remember our Vegas wedding, how romantic!
I remember our first encounter. You were on stage and you caught my attention when you threw your g-string at me.
You are confusing me with your first wife, the stripper in that biker bar.
His wife never did get his g-string/uniform back to return to his employer, the Queen Mary strip club.
John Wayne was there to keep an eye out, to make sure no crocks took advantage of idiot girl and baby elephants acting like they’re at the city pool.
Chicks prefer bigger trunks than yours bob
That’s cute. But watch out for crocks.
Hey, Yancey, is she enough to make you give up sheep in favour of zebras?
Lgr, that’s just down right artsy… she prolly looks real nice when you shut the blinds also.
It’s ” PROBABLY ” , you ignorant little retard !
Elf, you ain’t from around here, is ya?
Why yes I is ! And P R O B A B LY , been around a lot longer than you .
Long enough anyway to not want to sound like some ignorant ,
half educated teenage skater punk .
Hey . I’m perfectly down with slang , been using it all my life .
But “prolly” isn’t slang . It’s just somebody too lazy to say the whole word ,
because it’s too long .
I know , I know , somebody is going to come along and shout
” Grammar Nazi” !
But look at it this way . If we don’t preserve the roots of our language ,
within the next 50 years all of you will be grunting and hooting
at each other . Ya Dig ?
You’re “PROBABLY” a prick.
No Prolly about that ! But I’m an edumacated prick .
( and we all know just what kind of ass hole Eddie Haskell was )
Ya dig? Nope. I’m hopeless.
my latest irk are the ones who cannot pronounce “important”… they say im-poor-en
How about , I’m watching some kind of debate on TV ,
and a COLLEGE EDUCATED black man says ” I axed him ” .
( I kid you not )
GFY ELF.
Bea, I understood ya, & have prolly used that myself a time or two.
He’s an angry elf.
Carry on.
BTW , I didn’t pick that little Icon , Avatar , whatever .
It’s just the one that showed up when I started posting here .
And for all you smart folks , how do you know I call myself Elf ?
E L F , my initials maybe , do ya think ?
But yah , I am the last angry man . Because I give a shit about things .
I don’t go through life Fat , Drunk and Stupid .
No, you’re just stupid, one outta three asswipe.
See below
You know BL , I get a kick out of it when people like you
get on my case for being correct .
I’ll bet you vote Democrat , don’t ya ?
KMA BL
They have a stripper show in Vegas that features this shit.
What’s nkit doing down there?
Hey, BobP likes what is on the menu.
I go ape for blondes too.
Like they connect over the baby. Cool.
He really made that puss stretch.
You never stretched any?
Our female dog has a “boyfriend” down the street. Occasionally, when his owner is walking him, he will find a large stick and leave it on our lawn for our dog as a present.
My shepherd helps me chop firewood… he carries over the 18 inch logs with a command and I quarter it with my 8# maul– he’s a terrible stacker though.
That guy has got to be deaf, or this is staged.
Some people do sleep really hard. I knew a guy who used to turn his stereo ALL the way up as an alarm.
Nice hat cut, Jamal!
Eraserhead with a built-in sun visor……very creative. (cough)
Have you seen that movie ?
Damn weirdest movie ever made !
Da Bruthas been doing this since the 70s at least .
In the military , always trying to push the limits .
It WILL be a gift .
You just don’t tell the Govt. something that is
none of their business anyway !
S&W 686-2, five inch barrel. Speedloader and original box w/ammo.
Thanks, Dad. I’ll pass it on, too, when the will to bear its weight is too heavy or when my eyes fail before my heart.
Slaves will never own guns, free men gift them willingly to other free men as an inheritance. Only real Americans will understand. Those who don’t can go to hell.
Right On Brother !
And free men don’t ask permission to bear arms .
My Great grandfather was a sportsman who owned a dry good store. He left lots of nice toys to his grandsons. Many of them are over 100 years old and shoot perfectly. I wouldn’t know, as all of my guns went into the Mississippi river when my boat turned over. Lost my boat and my guns.
To bad about the guns . LOL
Yea, that’s what happened to my grandfathers’ guns and reload kits, too!! Strange coincidence.
I’ve been gifted many a gun but the best was daddy’s 22, when I was 7.
Well, he got the dog and a fan, but I’d have held out for a softer pillow.
So, that’s what it’s like.
skin to win.
Push Me , Shove You !
If the tall girl was smart, she would have kicked shorty before she completely came out that half-back flip. End of fight.
Blew eyes version looks like Kelly Ann Conway a bit.
One eye blew left and the other blew right.
Wit a ‘airlip, too!
-Great chameleon defensive talent there, blondie.
I don’t think that’s BP in that gif.
He woulda prolly stuck around and still made a play for her.
Lazy eyes and hairlip aside.
Cuz of the cleavage…
That is why paper bags were invented.
His mistake was looking up.
He got off easy- when I try to pick them up, they just use Mace.
Stay Classy , Yancy ! LOL
Once there was a farmer who had an incredibly ugly daughter. After many years of vain attempts to find her a husband, he finally offered half of his land, a huge tract, to whomever would marry her. Finally an ambitious young man agreed.
A year later, he had to fix the roof. When he mentioned it to his wife, she took off running. “Ladder, ladder; where’s the ladder?”
He gathered his tools and got up on the roof. He was working away when he ran out of nails. “I need nails,” he said.
His wife took off. “Nails, nails; where’s the nails?”
After she brought them to him, he went back to work. Pretty soon he swung his hammer and smacked his thumb, hard “FUCK!” he screamed.
His wife stared at him for a moment, and then took off running. “Sack, sack; where’s the sack?”
I think I heard that one back in about 1964 , Still funny .
That’s one trick for getting rid of a guy.
Looks like “Fuck that.”
Excuse me ma’am. My name is That.
Are you THAT desperate Bob ?
Yes.
Here, have a case of corona.
Can I have some Lyme with it please ?
Obvious reaction to man taking a man’s hand.
It looks like you’re gettin’ here late to the party VV .
But I understand , FF doesn’t show up on my computer
until about noon on friday .
By then Bob P and Yancy have already made all the good comments .
Hey, Leroy, I stole your disability check. What’re you gonna do about it?
Fuck You Jamal !
The first invention out of MIT’s all female freshman class.
BobP- Now that’s funny. 🙂
Because a regular bike would have been too “normal?” Not seeing the advantage of this thing one bit.
When you crash, it will break your neck and put you out of your misery.
Believe it or not, the guy that invented that is a centi-millionaire.
A solution to a problem that doesn’t exist .
Green new deal mobile.
I’d rather walk.
“I don’t want a pickle , just wanna ride my motorsickle “.
those of you under about 60 won’t get this one .
J. Joplin, terrible song.
Wrong again ,ASSWIPE .
Arlo Guthrie .
I was found guilty after I refused to contest the flattering description of my dick.
Jim Cantore on the Weather Channel had a close encounter once:
Getting goofy over the local news weather man. Pathetic.
Runner up to Adam Schiff in the Creepiest Man in America contest..
No way , winner for sure !
Sean’s first day as an Uber driver had him questioning his decision to be his own boss,
after viewing dash cam footage at the end of the day.
What’s not shown is where he loses his lunch a few minutes later, as the jiggle was
freed from the constraints of his fare’s clothing.
Would you give up sheep for that, BobP?
I wouldn’t give up crocodiles for that.
Sure you would !
I would hate to be that driver. He’s ready to bust a gut laughing.
I’d give her a free ride if she gave me one.
Oh, it’s just my wife calling.
Bob, you said that was my pic on your phone.
Your ass hasn’t been that tight since 1980.
The camera, the danger of dating today.
The day John discovered he was gay.
HEY!!!!!!!! Is that Steve C.???
Only on Friday
His problem was always that he just couldn’t leave animals well-enough alone….and he paid dearly for that.
Now do it with a stingray.
He took your advice.
His last words were “Stingrays love foreplay.”
That’s just cold Bob . ( LOL )
Apparently, Steve was a proud Seminole. Down with Gaytards.
When “bring your daughter to work day” goes horribly wrong.
She’s used to getting sprayed in the face in the office….just not typically this much.
Fired! Now clean up this mess.
And the Coronavirus spreads.
She was less enthusiastic when the BlowJob Cam came her way.
Bob leaned in and tried, but she wasn’t having anything to do with him.
I thought it was the blowjob cam that Yancey mentioned. She was rather taken aback.
Took Physics for Blondes in college.
Blondes know nothing about securing the load.
Is that two females?
Washed out of the Airborne 101st,
but went on to become the Army’s diversity training consultant
during the Obama years.
John Bolton made up for his cowardice by sending hundreds of others to their deaths.
On November 9th 2016, no one was brave enough to tell Hillary that she lost Wisconsin.
HF’s first jump didn’t go as planned.
That would be me.
Dude, can you find a hot one of Priscilla and put her up on the platform?
She’s a looker, IMHO.
TIA. Much obliged.
But she let the plastic surgeons totally butcher her face….won’t be posting any of those.
Exactly…..can’t be unseen.
That may be the repair job to fix the damage from the quack who injected her face with crap. She looks pretty good here.
I would have shit myself.
Wow, it really does take a village.
Yeah, a village idiot to get stuck in the first place.
Fat , Drunk and Stupid is no way to go through life !
If I recall my catechism getting sent to limbo was portrayed as bad. They lied to me!
Boing!
Do the limbo bounce.
Stop fear mongering! The economy is healthy. The corona virus is as harmless as a cold. There’ll be no blow back from our innumerable wars. Nothing’s creeping up to destroy us. So shut up and relax.
some serious magnets.
Those are ceramic magnets , and yes they are some STRONG ones .
I doubt anyone could pull those two straight away/apart .
You’ld have to try sliding them sideways .
You’d….. not you’ld, Mr. Edumacated FYI.
Get him, Eddie.
You’re right , my bad .
See , I’ll at least admit when I’m wrong .
Overconfidence is sometimes hilarious.
The consensus was that Bloomberg paid him to take a dive.
When – many years ago! – I was at the peak of my fightin’ trim, I was 5′ 9″ and weighted 175. Could press 325. My martial-arts sparring partner at that time was a friend clear from HS, and we were in Sicily together. He was 6’4″ and weighed about 230. He was good. But I learned that if you get inside, the vast majority of fighters bigger than yourself are nearly useless if you know what you are doing. OTOH, a good big fighter generally will beat a good smaller fighter. As long as they don’t get cocky.
Which reminds me; I’ve seen many a mulie bull (hornless) get in between the horns of another bull and flat kick his ass. The best was a young polled Hereford that beat the ever-living shit out of a much larger longhorn.
That’s why I always just use a gun . I’m too old to get in fights .
Mine is now a .44 ultra-light one shot will do ya.
The short dude is well positioned for an uppercut, which is a power punch as is the cross or hook. This looks more like a cross since it goes over the taller dude’s arm.
He was joking right. That dink didn’t take down that big guy.
You might be surprised .
It’s not the size of the dog in the fight .
It’s the size of the fight in the dog .
Impressive teamwork.
Very impressive. First guy running is last one up.
‘kin LUV this one, man.
Old age and SKILL will always overcome youth and arrogance .
That is a good prank to pull on your kid. Of course, when she puts you in the nursing home 30 years later, it isn’t quite as funny.
I didn’t understand the prank. Just looks like she threw them in the air.
Watch what the head of the doll in the left hand does.
I like it! That should have been invented a long time ago.
I have used those before- quite an invention.
Note: That’s standard fare in Europe…
Yeah but we got kneegroes to do dat shit. So there’s that.
Yeah , we got that going for us , which is nice.
Should have picked our own cotton and lifted our own loads.
TRUTH !
shoot’n the gap
TBPer: Watch out! The road ahead is perilous.
Typical American/Canadian: Oh, look at this cute cat video!
No good deed goes unpunished.
Instant Karma
One in the bush is worth…how the heck is that supposed to go?
One bush is worth a hundred bucks in Toronto.
A hand in the bush is worth two in the hand.
But two bushes in the hands is the start of a Penthouse forum story………….
“And I didn’t even have to Leeeeave my bunker .”
where you going, I thought you liked rock’n’roll?
Yikes!
Note to self: take eyes off phone for a couple of minutes a day.
Has the elevator guy been into the Corona?
Wow. That guy’s lucky to survive that.
Who said he survived ?
Made in Shina.
At least he fell back inside he elevator and not outside.
Far, far worse has been going on all over supposedly sovereign nations in the middle east since 2001. Some perpetrators have even been given the Nobel Peace Prize despite their role.
Kind of like shooting at the husky , from a helicopter ,
from John Carpenters ” The Thing ” .
Maybe these are ” Things ” ?
Why we all need dads. Even asleep they come through.
Dad responds even when napping.
Dad wasn’t there to catch her that time.
Damn , ya beat me to it again Yancy !
“Dirty Dancing” “Wipe Out” scene:
Somehow that does not surprise me. WTF…….
Yikes. When I lived a couple of blocks from The El in Chicago, it took a long time to get use to the noise.
For rent. Suite handy to public transportation. $1500 per month. No pets. No loud children. Shares bathroom with entire city.
I have that same dream every night. I wonder what it means?
All I know is after boarding you, the next stop is the clinic.