WASHINGTON, D.C.—Shortly after being put in charge of taking care of the coronavirus pandemic for the United States, Vice President Mike Pence unveiled a new, coronavirus-resistant uniform for women. The uniform consists of a red robe and white bonnet and is mandatory for all women in the country.
“We can’t be too careful here,” Pence said as he debuted the uniforms in front of a crowd of horrified reporters. “Every woman in the country must don this red dress thing and white head covering, effective immediately. It’s great at preventing both coronavirus and fornication.”
“Also, refrain from premarital relations, front hugs, or any public displays of affection outside of marriage,” Pence added. He then began to cackle, as he does sometimes.
“I just knew this was going to happen,” said one CNN correspondent as she donned her red robe at gunpoint. “Either Pence was going to turn the country into The Handmaid’s Tale or Trump was going to take over like Voldemort. Those are my only two literary frames of reference, and I’ve only really watched the show and movie. Though I have the books on my shelf as a conversation piece.”
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Oh, man. LMAO
Welcome to Canada from October through May.
that’s why the pretty gals from canuckistan come down here in the winter ,we get to see them as they really look–
You mean snowbirds? Like the ones over 65? I didn’t think you were that old…
PS – you don’t have to post pics.
Boom… nailed it like a true canuk. Def not a liberal regressive lil potato follower. Just sent the remaining 87,000 thumbs up I had left to you Francis…
i triple dog dare you to step across the border & say that,and you best be carrying a concealed firearm–
Now that’s funny.
to paraphrase Wallace Shawn in The Princess Bride, “now we drink-you from your cup, and me from mine, and we will see who is right, and who is dead”
Ur stupid
Wait.
That Handmaids show was about living in a quasi-theocracy, right?
Pence is a Christian dominionist, right?
Right?
Somehow I think the putrid, fornicating Somalian c*nt will not think BB is funny today.
Just can’t put my finger on it but Pence does have a peculiar look on his face… i dunno messianic ? not that i have issue with the Lord beyond my own failure and sin, even so come quickly Lord.
Put them all in burkas.