"How is your life going?" pic.twitter.com/0XG6bs9c8E
— lexi🍄🌈 (@lexiannc6) March 19, 2016
Yep, after this shoplifter stole a dress she proceeded to show off the same merchandise in her Facebook photos, leading to her arrest. Smooth move!
t was supposed to provide the perfect festive romantic moment: a mistletoe drone that would get diners at TGI Friday’s to kiss on camera.
But the restaurant’s plan to lure in festive diners went horribly wrong after one of the machines smashed into a photographer’s face at a launch event in New York.
Georgine Benvenuto was left in shock after the machine flew into her face, slicing off the tip of her nose and cutting open a section of her lip.
The ten-inch drone became so entangled in Miss Benvenuto’s hair that she even feared she would lose an eye.
Yep. Tiny dead bat in your box of cereal. Don’t see that every day, huh?
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Herbert was thrilled to make it up the hill until he plunged over the cliff on the other side.
Dang – that’s impressive!
He’ll soon learn from Twitter and the police that when blacks steal from whites it’s “reparations” but when whites steal from blacks it’s a heinous hate crime.
And 30 minutes later the girls caught up with him at the top of the escalator.
Sorry, our customer service has longer wait times than usual today due to wild boar.
Shoot it! They will destroy your pasture!
Verizon customer service getting boared at work.
Looks like the inside of an Indian online scam factory.
“Might change the outcome of the race, Ken?”
“It could, yes. If his testicles stay wrapped around his kidney, I don’t like his chances of winning.”
He can transfer to the ladies division. Or whatever the correct pronoun is now….
He should be able to win then.
Only 6 miles left, you can do it, Biff.
In my instructions to the jury I remind you that the accused did not vote for Trump, so if you find her guilty you may be charged with a hate crime.
Well, it did say battery service.
I would’ve never in a million years guessed that’s how it got to the other side of the road.
I always wanted to ride a skate board, but I was…chicken.
And now that you’re grown, you’re henpecked.
KFC fresh delivery service.
9/10. It would’ve been 10/10 but for the wheelchair guy in the shadows he ran over.
I don’t even know what the hell i am looking at here
Think Kathy Bates in ‘Misery’
He wasn’t angling for that girl. Never look at them while you’re hanging upside down. Just trust me on that.
You think this is bad, you should see second and third class.
A “One in a hole!”.
?
Wild Chinese frat boys docked 5000 points on social credit account for over-exuberant celebration of new air conditioner.
Sure hope he has a younger brother to blame.
Apparently sharts also happens in all ages
At least he crossed the finish line.
Yes, your honour, you heard me right. It wasn’t my fault I ran over that kid. He shouldn’t have crossed the street while I was sliding down my truck slide.
Does God exist? Are our lives governed by fate or chance? Is there life after death? How the hell are there so many ugly people since no one wants to lay them? These questions have fascinated mankind since we jumped out of the trees. But all that pales compared to the burning question of our times: Can a bunch of white Russians master the music of Earth, Wind and Fire? Well, FF enthusiasts, we finally have the answer!
I need more cowbell!
By golly, that was so…..uh, ummm, ahh, hmmmm…refreshing?
This group does fantastic cover song versions and especially those of Chicago tunes –
I missed the song completely because of ‘ol Yellow Shirt there.
Outstanding!!!
Certainly the fastest way to find out how much life sucks with a prosthetic arm.
If you ever get a chance to see Leonid and Friends grab it! They cover Chicago better than Chicago does. Fantastic live show. Best I’ve ever seen.
Made in China.
Anybody remember when “Made in Japan” was the hallmark of crap?
I do!
Little did she know this is how they feed Igor.
It’s all fun and games until [ds] takes back control.
Somebody hasn’t been doing their homework.
In today’s 1619 Project short film we present proof that an African discovered electricity!
Mayor of Houston as a teen.
One of the brightest guys in our school did that with a chunk of notebook binding wrapped around a wooden pencil. All because he was bored. Certainly got the teachers attention.
Eagles secondary…5 steps behind and laying on the ground…
Zip it down to take a wiz may provoke accident
Those Jerry Nadler pants…
So the “sophisticated” folks in New York vote for Humpty-Dumpty? I feel like such a hick.
Looks like an anaconda trying to swallow a hippo.
I must say the newest fashion doesn’t strike me favourably.
LeBron’s an ass.
I gave up on the NBA way before it was popular. Now even college is coming into ? and my UConn men’s team sucks! Go woke, I’m done
Yer being un-neccessarily lenient.
He’s a nigger.
And they wonder why no one takes them seriously.
Huh, I never knew they mined beer. FF is just so informative.
I don’t mind beer.
Must be Alaska and a permafrost cooler.
Oh, never mind; I forgot my wallet.
Ain’t no wolverine
Step 1 in making baby back ribs.
How to bring tears to a 4Her.
The other rider’s think their being athletic and this guy’s just on his way back from the grocery store.
The “green new deal” will bring new innovations, until we bring them bat shit crazy liberals back to reality.
Ted never even considered the possibility that his mail-order bride might’ve doctored her photograph.
I’m only here for the Bob P. comments, said a politician.
“Wonder what has them so riled up?” mused George, just before the tidal wave answered him.
“You got yourself one purdy tight end, boy.”
Ohhh, love your…..arm long time.
Would like to see my wide receiver?
No comment from Bob? I am shocked -somebody may want to call 911.
Is that Biden, besides he is the LT not TE, Jumbo Fisher
I didnt know gif files could even carry audio content. I swear i hear the shatter every time…
FF has hit a new low with nerd suicide snuff footage, though…
The glass or his balls?
Balls??
HEY!, he didn’t shoot his eye out.
We have a winner. Darwin Award finalist for 2020
Huh. I wonder if that works with tits?
I have pushed tits against my hand and they do not leave behind a mark.
That hippy jellyfish needs a tentacle cut.
Condom with built in ticklers for her pleasure…
Moving LGBTQXYZ decoration?
I never knew poisonous chemicals made such a nice rainbow. Nature is so wonderful.
please let that be sewage
Might be sewage if yer shittin skittles.
FUCK COCACOLA
I can admire the athleticism, but this has to rank near the very top of the Useless Skills list.
Loods like they’re practicing for the Dragon Dance:
Wait till you’re my age, and you have to sit down to put your pants on.
kung fu theater in real life…. golf clap……
Now get a job.
The South Texas School for the Mentally Challenged and their re-enactment of the Battle of Kursk.
it actually is in Texas…they plat paint ball there.
Those are redesigned riding mowers…
Rockin’ it.
Must be recharging.
It just ate a firefly…serious
Ringing the door bell
I know one thing; the guys definitely don’t work in the Costco tire shop.
its amazing what happens when you start paying mechanics by the job not the hour
Public foreplay?
A new type of PDA?
Either way it’s great since it’s not socially distanced and because no facediapers are involved.
Wondering if Bob P has tried that one?
Not with clothes on.
Reminds me of a date I once had. We were all over each other.
Then it was all over…
Too true.
Uh, while you’re down there…..
I could not have done that…period..
Without groping her tits.
Hey, honey, if you want your tits to be firm again, just put them on the hot stove.
Instant Karma!!!!
When you stop doing whatever the hell you’re doing, finish mowing the lawn.
Sprinkles
Can I program my new roomba to do that? Don’t need to take on the added risk factor.