See more at the Fail Blog
-----------------------------------------------------
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
It is my sincere desire to provide readers of this site with the best unbiased information available, and a forum where it can be discussed openly, as our Founders intended. But it is not easy nor inexpensive to do so, especially when those who wish to prevent us from making the truth known, attack us without mercy on all fronts on a daily basis. So each time you visit the site, I would ask that you consider the value that you receive and have received from The Burning Platform and the community of which you are a vital part. I can't do it all alone, and I need your help and support to keep it alive. Please consider contributing an amount commensurate to the value that you receive from this site and community, or even by becoming a sustaining supporter through periodic contributions. [Burning Platform LLC - PO Box 1520 Kulpsville, PA 19443] or Paypal
-----------------------------------------------------
To donate via Stripe, click here.
-----------------------------------------------------
Use promo code ILMF2, and save up to 66% on all MyPillow purchases. (The Burning Platform benefits when you use this promo code.)
Happy Friday all you cool cats out there!
I thought you hated cats.
While we’re waiting for the stars to post their gems, wouldn’t it be fun to take a personality test? Just what you’ve all been dreaming of, eh? This one actually is fun. It’s pretty damned accurate, too. Here it is:
https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
You can read all about yourself. The test isn’t perfect. The 16 personality types omit the two largest groups in our society, which might be labeled, “Ignorant assholes” and “Idiots.”
I’m apparently an an Architect (INTJ-A). My strengths are I’m rational, witty, imaginative, informed, independent, determined, curious, and versatile. I think if I shared this with my wife she’d laugh all day, though if I could get a word in among her guffaws, I’d point out I am on occasion witty (or I was before she started laughing at me) and I’m also rational, and I did have a sharp mind before I lost it somewhere. My weaknesses, which my wife would wholeheartedly agree with: I’m arrogant, dismissive, overly critical, combative, and romantically clueless; in essence, I hate people. And to that I say to the test designers, take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.
Didn’t see it in the results… But I did see those on streets every time I go out which is very seldom. (Introvert hating crowds and hating stoopid people even more).
By the way I’m Logician INTPA whatever that means.
It gives you a whole report on your personality type, in case you didn’t know anything about yourself.
At 70, I’m way to young to know anything about myself…. I need to grow up a bit.
Hey Bob – I could use an architect. Trying to build a new house.
Sure. My prices are reasonable. Here’s my first project. References, unfortunately, went down with the house.
Yet ANOTHER Florida sink hole.
I might need to rethink that strategy! LOL 🙂
Who put that hole there?
Simple fix, Bob.
Next time, use heavier holddowns on the right side of the house.
No hit to your references or reputation.
It should be covered in your E&O (Errors and Omissions) clause.
And clearly the site contractor failed to field verify all calculations.
All that Pepsi killed your sharp mind.
Mine says Viruoso, but only part of it fits:
Optimistic, Practical, Rational, Relaxed
Stubborn, Insensitive, Reserved
Didn’t work for me. I am a proud member of both omitted groups.
That was an enjoyable test. However, in my world the word for me is Chief, as in Navy Chief, not commander. But yes, I was trained to take control and KNOW what I was doing and why when it happened. A hat tip to you Bob P
Virtuoso ____type A
INFJ/INTJ
Bob that was fascinating and dead-on… I’m an advocate.
Another Biden fail:
https://www.rt.com/usa/526242-state-department-nigeria-twitter-ban
By all means, they should unblock Twatter and meme them into obscurity.
Don’t you know it’s a Human Right to be censored, deplatformed and shadowbanned?
And he’s not getting laid either.
Could get laid out.
Horrible idea for a tat on his arm also. I see many men? with stupid tattoos on their calves.
I see idiots with stupid tattoos.
+1,000,000,000,000 squared
David the duck enjoying a beautiful flight over rolling hills–life is so wonderful–when he sees something approaching . . . and he’s dead.
I’d like to see the rest of this vid as the hawk rips apart the drone, probably thinking WTF?
Horribly wet discharge from the bung hole.
Almost looks bloody. Yuck.
I expect that looks oddly familiar to Barry I after him and Mikey got done with another round.
Now that there’s a lot of wine about you have something to whine about.
HERB, clean up in aisle 7.
“It’s that time of the bung”, just for the Karens.
It was a love story for the ages till Derick Deer got Rachel Rabbit pregnant and eight days later she exploded.
Bob-
Don’t you know that this is how jack-a-lopes are made.
https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.lMwhp14pt6Q6uYOymyCfzwAAAA?w=141&h=191&c=7&o=5&pid=1.7
And I bagged this beauty back in ’78. Used a Winchester .300 magnum at 600 yards.
https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.PX0MKGTZcAbKPjAr9afMLgHaHZ?w=199&h=197&c=7&o=5&pid=1.7
Muscledawg (not anon)
Bob-
This is where jackalopes come from.
https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.GY0IwNdq2lfc6FP9YvL_OwHaLw?w=115&h=180&c=7&o=5&pid=1.7
I bagged this beauty back in ’78. Used a Winchester .300 mag at 600 yards.
https://th.bing.com/th/id/OIP.-UgAcCVvW7fwu6gM4S8UiwHaLW?w=129&h=197&c=7&o=5&pid=1.7
So this is how the Jackalope are made:
Wait…What? Not Bambi and Thumper!!!!
Including practice hours, that cost the taxpayer $1450.
Clove hitch
Not wrong, but not a very deep thinker either.
Looks like she has nothing on her mind.
Maff is hard
I remember in math class this being called the trivial solution.
Maybe not deep, but smart. While the others spend time figuring out all sorts of possibilities, she’s back at her desk reading comic books..
Or maybe she is a very organized thinker.
A truly excellent future project manager who can charge the client more for NOT goldplating.
Ask stupid math questions …
Liberalism explained in 10 seconds.
It’s all in the lei.
That’s great. Tell me, have you ever thought of doing something useful?
Bob, you just made an excellent point. I don’t recall seeing or hearing about people doing stupid, inane and silly stuff back when they had to work in order to eat.
Rest assured, we did stupid stuff back then too, there just weren’t any video recorders around. Like the time my coworker tipped over the fork lift backwards while trying to do a wheelie with a full pallet at max height, or the time that spastic cook got his leg stuck in the vat of cheese spread. (Yes it was eaten!).
His leg?
Since you ask, yes his leg up to his knee. The ‘chef’ was REALLY uncoordinated due to some sort of birth defect, but he was tied in to the family that owned the place, so he had job security. The place was an upscale restaurant that must have seated well over a thousand. Mixing the spread was a two man job, and used a giant Hobart style mixer. He ran the mixer and I loaded it and put the spread into little crocks. In other words, I did the work while he flipped the switch and raised and lowered the bowl. BTW, the guy was really dangerous with knives.
Anyway, I did not see exactly how he got stuck. I was loading the crocks, and I hear this frantic, unintelligible commotion behind me (His speech was always slurred even when not panicked, whether or not he took his meds). I turn around, and there he is with his leg buried right up to his knee. He did not seem to be hurt, but he was howling, and he was absolutely stuck and trying to shake loose. I still can’t figure out how it happened. He had to step into it and put all his weight on that leg to sink in like that. When I first looked I could hardly understand what happened. Where is his leg??? Did he cut it off? WTF?? Its in the cheese????? Is it connected???
So, when I look at him he starts giggling. I asked him, “Spiro, what the fuck just happened?”. All I got back was gibberish. I helped him pull his leg out. His shoe got stuck in the muck and pulled off. I pulled that out and handed it back to him. I can see the cheese spread has dirt off his shoe, little bits of SpeediDry, and bits of black stuff. I point out the contaminants to him and say that we can’t send that out and we have to start over. He scrapes off his shoe and his leg into the mixer. Then he reaches for the switches to raise the bowl and turns on the mixer. Then he points to the bowl, and says the only clear word I heard from him that day: “Seasoning”.
It had to be a prosthetic leg or he would have bled out quickly.
Oh, no it was his real leg and it was still attached. Maybe I didn’t make it clear. I couldn’t see where his leg went, so I thought maybe he chopped it off with the mixer blade.
I speak English. I understood.
I gets the notion a couple of ya didn’t quite understand. The guy got his real leg stuck in the mixer. Mista helped get his real leg unstuck and out of the mixing bowl, but the guys shoe was still in the bottom of the cheesy goo. Mista pulled the shoe out (ugh, why am I bothering) handed it back to dufus, and told him more or less you’ve ruined this batch, we have to start over. To which, dufus responded by scraping black gunk off the shoe, starting the mixer again and, well….
Yup. That’s it!
And now let us take that well beaten topic and lay it to rest….
Your retelling of MistaShifa’s story hilariously reminds me of the classic [viral] video of the black lady explaining what happened – “then he said Whoooa, then I said Whaoooa”.
Looked briefly to no avail to find the classic vid to provide for context.
Wonder what state distils his meds.
All I know about volleyball is Brazilian women have fine asses.
..and then some!
Don’t need to know anymore
Women find you completely resistible? Have you tried the lasso?
Automatic windows on vehicles were a boon for me. You could more quickly roll her hair up in them and she couldn’t get away.
She’s pretty, she doesn’t have to be smart.
She’s drunk…bless her heart…
Well, that just makes the old hiney pucker right up…
A very shadowy gif.
Is that Dr de Vaca?
😂🤣👍
The sweatshirt? Ellesse’s…
proctologist?
If you’re too stupid to be a janitor, I’m afraid the only career you’re qualified for is Congressman.
Sorry, Bob, but you are incorrect. You would also qualify to be a government bureaucrat.
If you’re too stupid to be a janitor, I’m afraid the only career you’re qualified for is Congressman.
This…times 1,000
A good life lesson would have been for him to lose half a dozen teeth on the edge of the desk.
That’s just mean. Two or three would be plenty.
PFC on floor-buffing duty doing what most PFC’s do when no NCO’s are around. Sick call in the AM for loss of choppers.
Good Boy. Shoo those nasty cats away.
Are you taking over for Averagejoe?
Let’s just say we both have a common dislike for cats.
Don’t worry, Puss, when you get older you can crap in his food bowl…oh, wait, I forgot – dogs like that.
That cat coulda used a good tail hedge.
He could’ve taken a few strides to his left and stepped across the puddle, but this was much more entertaining.
That’s why nurses call them donor-cycles.
That was premature.
I thought the same thing but didn’t have the guts to write it.
Hahahaha
From cat-a-pult to kid-a-pult to man-a-pult in just a few short years.
Saturday night live “yard a pult”
In 2022 the national pastime became feeding CDC scientists to the alligators.
Now that looks like it could be fun. I’d try that even at 68 yrs old.
Reminds me of the squirrel launcher 2000
And the usefulness of wax spaghetti is????
Good party gag.
Oh. I just blow them out.
A de-treason press, Fauci’s first.
Where do you find a dog like this? Even labs I have owned have never enjoyed a bath.
I was never able to own a dog, they owned me….
Scented bubble bath, a scrubby, massaging all the itchy spots…no wonder Fido is smiling. Mine get cinched up to the clothesline and washed with the garden hose and whatever dish soap is handy. We play calf rope until I can get them tied….
Wifey runs a self-serve dog wash. The regulars really enjoy their baths. Except huskies, they all hate it. Darndest thing I ever saw is a small dog that would lay on his back so it’s owner could wash his tummy. She had a really bad rheumatoid arthritis.
Mine sure as hell didn’t.
You make it that enjoyable he’ll go out looking for skunks.
Nothing beats Head and Shoulders for bathing dogs.
Why is that, Joe?
Drilling when Biden is done destroying the electrical infrastructure.
Prep, prep, prep and prep some more as if your life depends on it – it may someday sooner than you think.
I still have my dad’s hand held…
I have a slightly newer one from my dad. My brother-in-law has a manual drill press from his grandfather that mounts on the wall. Very cool. One crank to spin the bit and another to lower it.
I also have my grandfather’s hand held drill. I enjoy collecting old tools, being a woodworker/carpenter. That one is a beauty.
Like Androcles and the Lion.
Just like that crocodile guy from Australia loved his crocks?
Irwin didn’t wear chain mail. Probably woulda saved his life…
In return for removing hooks the grateful sharks removed Jordan’s left leg and both arms.
If you’re wondering what would possess someone to do this, his other choice was the Pfizer vaccine.
It’s not a vaccine, it’s a shot
one jab will do ya’, no that was Brill Cream in the 70’s
a lil dab’l do ya
Amazing, look how many tracks, and no-fail marks, definitely not a f.f. gif.
It’s Friday Fail, no Winday WTF
That’s almost creepy. A cat with thumbs?
genetic problem..Very rare..
Those are dew claws
Which equate to thumbs or big toes aka first digit.
Surfer duck dude!
I’ll give ’em a 9.9 on that landing.
A Sullenberger.
That’s only because your not the GDR. Otherwise, 6.4
Perfect engine-out water landing.
a looner landing..
Reminds me of the harks, falcons and eagles I see around here trollin the wind for short bursts of zero G as they hover in weightlessness.
We aren’t the only ones that like to have fun and own the moment when we can.
They live!
The last call is always red-eye.
Oh, that’s the 2022 Ford WTF.
Another one of those whatthefucks. I’d like to see more of that. Appears to be very creative engineering .
Did you notice the ships wheel steering? Nice touch.
I thought the idea was to put the paint on the wall, but what do I know?
You’d paint your walls that color?
Maybe I was wrong on the free Architectural advice above.
“Maybe”?
Looks like a dye job on the monster from Bugs Bunny.
never picks up the brush…
But when’s that brush gonna run out of paint ?
Most adults have completely forgotten how incredibly more clever kids are than the adults think they are. Maybe it’s a long-term memory issue forgetting about their own childhood.
I’m pretty sure most kids would land on their face, bounce off the mattress onto the floor, and start screaming, and I’m very sure I would laugh.
Most of us don’t remember 10-12 grade. Sex, drugs, rock’n’roll.
Dwarf.
Spinal issues either way.
Now do Gal Gadot naked.
WTF?
Given that the average age of cruise passengers is about 90, why bother?
The clown got stuck.
Eating Goober’s peas?
Quite intriguing.
Some phun with phases
The next thing after man-a-pult is the para-pult.
(Good name if the chute fails too)
Proof that Neo was actually in a computer program!
Two golfers out searching out in the rough are fooled by NASA as shown below.
YUP!
Exactly! But you can’t tell these people that Mars is fake when the proof is in front of their eyes, just like the Geodesic (flat) Earth. Indoctrination is a powerful thing.
Maybe to a color-blind individual, those look like the same place. But look, the colors are all different!!!
If only it had some practical purpose today.
http://worldkings.org/news/world-value-academy/worldkings-daily-highlights-jun-09-2021-magnetic-spray-transforms-inanimate-objects-into-tiny-robots
Hey! That’s what happened to my balls!
Female-post 50yrs., the milliseconds are correct.
Streaming
Winner of the award for the most boring video game of all time.
a ship passing through the Panama Canal…