U.S.—Reports from across the nation indicated that teenage boys are suddenly much less interested in sneaking to the mailbox and taking out the mailers and fliers from Victoria’s Secret in the mail before their parents get to them.
The change seemed to have something to do with the lingerie and women’s clothing company announcing the cancellation of its supermodels, the “Angels”, who are being replaced with feminist icons such as Megan Rapinoe.
“Yeah, you know what? Mom can keep this one,” said one disappointed boy, Oliver Hampton, putting the catalog back in the mailbox after seeing Rapinoe on the cover. He then went and did something more productive and less sinful with his time, pwning his friends in Fortnite.
Christians across the nation, though, are hailing the move as a big win for purity, since fewer men will be tempted to look at the scantily clad women. “Most men won’t even have to avert their eyes when walking by the stores anymore,” said one pastor. “Frankly, this is the biggest win for the abstinence movement since Star Wars came out.”
At publishing time, Victoria’s Secret had tried to win back its key teenage boy demographic by unveiling a new model: Amy Schumer.
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Mentally ill men in swimsuits will surely kill Sports Illustrated (if it hasn’t already).
Hilarious!
SI already had a tranny on the cover if I’m not mistaken.
The Athleta catalog still works – except that they started adding about 1/3 fat chicks a couple months ago. I’m like “Bitch, you do NOT do yoga.”
Fat chick did do yoga.Still where she did it.
I soooooo LOATHE that purple-haired, foul mouthed, Trump hating, lesbian piece of shit.
I watched the last 10 minutes of the US women’s team vs Nigeria a couple days ago. It was played in Austin, TX. Very sad to see a bunch of folks waving that new Faggot Flag throughout the stadium. Texas turning into a Fag State?? Was hoping Nigeria would win, but they didn’t.
Can you please not post that? I need eye bleach now.
Fucken lesbian cunt
Get with the program, man. It is very clear that Megan was hired by the Pope to drive all young males into celibacy, therefore providing an unlimited flow of newbies for ecleastical pleasure for decades to come.
Kids are lucky today. We had to settle for Africans in National Geographic mags.
Guh! No way, no how. I’d join the priesthood before THAT.
Michael said,”Beat IT. Just beeeaat it.”
More trannies and fewer porkers is all we ask. As Bette Midler once stated,” I have standards.They are low,but i do have them.”