ATLANTA, GA – According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control released on Thursday, people with inside, compromising knowledge of Bill and Hillary Clinton’s financial and political dealings are 843% more likely to commit suicide.
Continue reading “CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide”
In past articles, I’ve written about my political discussions with friends in my social circle and, most often, within a group of us who meet on Saturday mornings for breakfast. These have included “Breakfast Club: Dining with Friends”, “The Persistence of Their Delusion is Despicable”, “The Rants of the Libtards Ring Hollow then Echo”, and “The Conspiracies are Broad and Deep”. We all know each other through a shared involvement and patronage of a community organization; and, although attendance has grown through the years, the majority of us are middle-aged, Caucasian, and college-educated professionals.
At least one in our group has no genuine interest in politics, but most of the others can’t stand Trump and consider me to be an ultra-right-wing, crazy conspiracy theorist. I would say more than a few have outwardly embraced socialist policies, if not Socialism in toto, and then there is a RINO (Republican In Name Only) who responds to me with a loud “F*ck you!” whenever I’ve addressed him as such.
Continue reading “Text Wars on Smartphones and Frenzied Bullshittin’…”
U.S.—Oops! A social media scheduling error apparently caused Hillary Clinton to post her condolences for Tulsi Gabbard’s suicide one day early.
Guest Post by Jim Kunstler
You’d think Hillary Clinton might come up with a better zinger than “Russian asset” when she flew out of her volcano on leathery wings Friday and tried to jam her blunted beak through Tulsi Gabbard’s heart. Much speculation has been brewing in the Webiverse that the Flying Reptile of Chappaqua might seek an opening to join the Democratic Party 2020 free-for-all. Wasn’t “Russian asset” the big McGuffin in the Mueller Report — the tantalizing and elusive triggering device that added up to nothing — and aren’t most people over twelve years old onto that con by now?
Guest Post by Martin Armstrong
I would say yes. I know that the big Democratic donors are yelling they will not fund Warren. Hillary has been cagey, but the coup against Trump is in full motion. The FBI just came out of the blue to say they exonerate Hillary. You have to read the fine print. What they are saying is NOT that she is innocent, but she did not KNOWINGLY violate the law. You would be prosecuted for such an act for the presumption is you know what the law is. In Hillary’s case, the FBI has turned the law upside down. They are doing that to clear the way for her to run in 2020.
Authored by Tom Luongo via Gold, Goats, ‘n Guns blog,
Tulsi Gabbard has stones. She has the kind of stones born of a life dedicated to the cause of serving others.
She is the direct opposite of Hillary Clinton, for whom all causes serve herself and her enormous narcissism and pathology.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources at a DC-area Costco, failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was asked to leave Costco again after repeatedly accusing a lady handing out food samples of being a Russian asset.
It wasn’t clear how Clinton had ended up in the Costco, as she usually has her servants’ servants go to the market for her. Some suggested she wanted to disguise herself and go be among her subjects to see how the other 99% lives.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Hillary Clinton has announced that after much debate she will seek reelection as president of the United States.
Pundits on MSNBC, CNN, and ABC News have long pondered whether Clinton would seek reelection or allow someone else to step in, and now she’s made a definitive declaration.
“After much deliberation, consultation, and prayer to Moloch, I have decided that I will seek a second term,” she said to a crowd gathered at a local Wendy’s restaurant. “I feel I haven’t accomplished everything I wanted to in my first term, and I really need a full eight years to implement my final solution to all of America’s problems.”
The odds of Hillary Clinton entering the 2020 presidential race and winning the Democratic nomination jumped to third place per PredictIt, as rumors swirl that she’ll be back to take another bite at the apple.
Notably, former Trump chief strategist Steve Bannon told Fox Business last week “She is running. She’s just trying to decide how to fit her way in.”
WASHINGTON, D.C.—After Hillary Clinton once again suggested that Donald Trump was an illegitimate president, one unfortunate staffer was forced to be the one to gently inform her that she lost the election.
“Hey, Hill, we need to talk,” the aide said, her voice shaky and uncertain. “We’ve got to discuss something of some importance. We’re all a little worried about you, and we just need to make sure you realize something about the election from a few years ago.”
Continue reading “Staffer Nervously Informs Hillary Clinton She Lost 2016 Election”
The State Department’s Bureau of Diplomatic Security has finally finished sifting through millions of emails from Hillary Clinton’s controversial ‘basement server’ – many of which were classified, and/or blind-copied to a Gmail address bearing the name of a Chinese company according to intelligence community inspector general (ICIG) Frank Rucker.
While State Department investigators began contacting former officials around 18 months ago, the probe actually began under President Obama. In recent weeks, the State Department has contacted approximately 130 officials whose emails which went through Clinton’s special server have been retroactively classified and may now pose potential security violations, according to the Washington Post.
A note from the editorial board at The Babylon Bee:
A number of people have questioned our love for Hillary Clinton based on some satirical pieces published on our site recently.
We would like to clear things up by saying that Hillary Clinton is an upstanding citizen and a very fine human being. She is of excellent character. She would never hurt anyone. The people who wrote those jokes, headlines, and pieces that seemed to criticize Hillary have been dealt with.
